To Keep Holding On
by The Black Iris
Summary: Harry only wanted a little time after the end of his fifth year, but when he is diagnosed with cancer, he finds that time growing infinitely shorter, and he realizes that to keep holding on, may take everything he has. AU, no HBP or DH. On Hold
1. It Can't Get Any Worse

To Keep Holding On

_Harry only wanted a little time, after the end of his fifth year, but when he is diagnosed with cancer, he finds that time growing infinitely shorter. Harry makes a new friend, finds a new respect and love for his family, and realizes that to keep holding on, may take everything he has. AU, no HBP or DH_

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_Really long Author's Note, to hopefully keep you all from yelling at me. It's not really necessary to read unless you have questions and you might so read it anyways, lol. :)_

_This is incredibly AU as it only takes into account books one through five. There is no mention of book six or seven at all to my knowledge, not because I don't like them, but because I started this before either came out, and wanted to stick to the plot I was working on. Anything that seems similar to HBP or DH is completely coincidence. _

_There may be a couple questionable canon – non-canon issues, mostly things that I looked up, but couldn't find a definitive answer on, either in the books or online. You'll probably question these yourself as I did. I of course took some liberties in making up some things that none of us will ever likely get an answer for, mostly when it comes to wizards and 'Muggle' illnesses._

_The characters in this story may seem out of character. I have tried to get most of them to be as close to canon as possible, but I don't think I did the best of jobs, as I'm not sure how they'd truly react to the situations given to them. The Dursleys especially, aren't completely in character, and I've made Voldemort a bit more human and much less than canon Voldemort. He still has a firm grasp on his old ambitions and is less insane. _

_This story deals with issues of incurable illnesses and the impact they have. It is very sad and meant to be so, you probably will cry, but I promise a happy ending. I like happy endings, so enjoy reading and hopefully I'll update regularly, but don't shoot me if I get slow in it, this isn't the only thing I'm working on. :)_

_--_

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

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Chapter One – It Can't Get Any Worse

Some say when life gets bad that it can't get any worse. This was Harry Potter's exact thoughts as he left Kings Cross with his aunt and uncle; the smile he had given to his friends had vanished from his face. Looking over his shoulder, as he now followed his relatives, at Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, and Ginny, he had a slight twinge of guilt for becoming their friend. This school year had been the worst of his life. He hadn't thought that anything could have topped his fourth year of school, but his fifth year had proven him wrong by far.

Sirius was dead. And though Harry couldn't place all the blame on his shoulders, he knew that he was partly responsible for his godfather's death. He had done a lot of stupid things in the last year, but believing what he saw in that vision, had been pure idiocy. He'd not given two seconds thought about going to a Professor, an Order member. He'd thought he could handle everything himself, and he'd nearly gotten his friends killed in the process. That thought alone was what had him making up his mind.

This was the first time leaving Hogwarts for the summer holidays that Harry found himself contemplating not returning for the next school year. This was the first time leaving Hogwarts that he hadn't felt like he was leaving his home behind. He almost wished that he had died in his godfather's place, at least then he wouldn't have this tremendous amount of guilt in his heart, or this prophecy that was to dictated the rest of his life, looming over his shoulders.

Harry glanced at his aunt and uncle in the front seat of their car. They were doing their best to pretend that he didn't exist already and they weren't even home yet. Though it was somewhat funny seeing the look on Uncle Vernon's face when the Order had threatened them, he also felt that it was unfair that they threatened them at all. His aunt and uncle didn't have to take him back year after year. They were truly doing it to protect him, even with Dumbledore's threat.

"Aunt Petunia?" Harry asked quietly, finally coming to a decision. He waited until she turned to glare at him before he continued. "Could you and Uncle Vernon write to the Headmaster of my school and tell them to leave me alone?" Petunia looked shocked at the request, understandably, as they had just been told that Harry was supposed to write to them every three days. "Please, I don't think I can deal with the Wizarding world this summer," Harry whispered sadly.

Petunia actually stared at her nephew with something akin to actual concern. She looked at Vernon, who had forced himself not to drive off the road at hearing this, and then looked back at Harry. "If that is what you want, yes."

"Thank you," Harry said as he ignored his cousin openly staring at him and stared out the window at the passing scenery. He knew he wouldn't be able to segregate himself from the Wizard world completely, but he could give himself the summer at least.

The rest of the ride home was spent in silence. Harry dragged his belongings upstairs as soon as they had arrived and then took out a piece of parchment and a Muggle pen and brought it down to his aunt and uncle.

They both looked at him odd, but did as Harry requested and wrote the letter to Dumbledore as Harry instructed them to. The two adults signed it and then Harry took the paper, and thanking them sincerely, brought it back upstairs, the two adults watching him with perplexity in their eyes as he left. He sat down and read the letter over once.

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore,_

_We aren't sure what you've done to our nephew, but Harry has requested not to be contacted by anyone in your world this summer. Please follow his and our wishes and leave him alone. He requests no owls to be sent or contact through our world's post. The only owl he wishes to receive is the one that holds his OWL test scores and book list and will not open any other letters from you or anyone in your world._

_Petunia Dursley_

_Vernon Dursley_

Harry figured that should get the point across, but he laid the parchment down in front of him and put in his own personal note underneath. He wanted to make absolutely certain that Dumbledore knew that he was completely serious about this. He needed time.

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_This was not my aunt and uncle's idea. I wish to be isolated from the Wizarding world for the summer. I have much to think on after this year. I will be at Kings Cross the first of September, but bar any emergencies I don't want any contact from you, the Order, or my friends. This will be the only correspondence I will send and will leave it up to you to let everyone else know of my wishes. I will be sending Hedwig directly to Hermione after she delivers this letter, so you may send a letter with her if you want. _

_Please respect my wishes,_

_Harry Potter_

Harry folded the parchment and handed it to his owl. "Hedwig, I want you to take this to Professor Dumbledore and then go to Hermione's and stay there. I'll see you when the summer's over." Hedwig butted his hand, nipped at his fingers affectionately and then climbed up his shoulder. "Aren't you going to go, Hedwig?" he asked as she leaned into his head, nuzzling his neck over affectionately.

Harry thought it was odd. Normally when he gave her something to do, she was out the window almost as fast as he could tell her where to go. She stayed where she was for several minutes until Harry finally pushed her out the window.

Hedwig flew in a circle outside his window, almost as if she was unwilling to go. "Go on, Hedwig, I'll see you when school starts and Hermione will take good care of you," Harry said reassuringly. Hedwig flew around for a few more minutes before finally leaving. Harry watched her go; he didn't understand what was up with his owl.

Harry shook his head as she disappeared and then went to unpack his trunk. He didn't bother removing his schoolbooks or other supplies. His relatives didn't like his magical related belongings laying around, even in his room, and if he were going to be here for the entire summer, he was going to follow their wishes and keep himself on their good side.

He started to put his clothes away in his dresser as neatly as he'd always done when at home. If there was one thing he'd ever learned from the Dursleys it was to be organized. The only reason his trunk was as cluttered as it was, was because the one time he'd had it organized his dorm mates had looked at him oddly. He'd still been a first year then and had quickly conformed to the other boys levels of messiness, if only to avoid possible future ridicule, but he did like to be tidy.

Harry was just putting the rest of his clothes away when he suddenly started to feel dizzy. Harry put his head in his hands and moved to sit down on his bed as the room started to tilt violently. He collapsed before he got there…

--

A second firmer knock sounded at Harry's door and then Petunia opened the door when she didn't receive an answer. The very first thing she saw was her nephew, laying unconscious on the floor. "Potter?" she called, but Harry didn't move. She hurried into the room and shook her nephew. "Harry!" she called sharply when she didn't get a response.

Harry groaned as he blinked opened his eyes. "What?"

"Are you all right?" Petunia asked as Harry sat up and shook his head to clear it, his vision was a little fuzzy at first, but it quickly cleared. He looked up to his aunt in confusion.

"Yeah, w-what happened?" he asked.

"I don't know. I found you like this. Has this happened before?" she asked with slight concern, which Harry had never heard from her before.

Harry shook his head and stood up. "No, but I'm sure it was nothing. I probably tripped and hit my head or something," Harry said as he shrugged it off and ran his hand through his hair somewhat shakily. He'd never passed out with there being no reason beforehand for it.

Petunia looked doubtful at him, but dropped it. "I just came to tell you dinner was ready," she said quietly and then left the room, looking back at him briefly with narrowed eyes.

Harry looked out the window and saw that the sun was nearly down. He had been unconscious for an hour at the least then. He looked around his room for a moment before he shook his head and left it. He probably was just tired or something, it had been a hard couple weeks. He did briefly wonder why his aunt hadn't come to order him to help with dinner as he descended the stairs and entered the kitchen.

Harry sat down at the kitchen table and was surprised at the large portion he received for his meal, but he didn't complain about it. Dudley seemed to be surprised as well, but didn't comment either. About halfway through the meal, Vernon looked up to his nephew.

"Potter, your aunt and I would like to speak with you after dinner."

Harry nodded, wondering what this was about, but went back to his meal. He couldn't have done something wrong already. But with his uncle, one could never tell what wrong was. Harry shrugged it off, he'd find out soon enough.

After dinner was through, Harry got up to do the dishes, but his aunt stopped him. "Leave the dishes and come sit with us in the sitting room."

Harry looked at his aunt as if she'd grown a second head. It was an unspoken rule that the dishes were always done by him when he was home. And sit with them in the sitting room, he'd never been allowed to do such a thing. He followed his relatives tentatively, briefly wondering if they had been abducted by aliens and replaced with pod people while he was away at school. "Did I do something wrong?" Harry asked hesitantly, as his aunt and uncle sat.

"Sit down, Harry," Petunia said, and only because she had said his first name, Harry sat. "Vernon and I have been talking and we've both agreed that we want to know what happened to you while you were away at school this year."

Harry was about to snap that it was none of their business, but decided not to. If they honestly wanted to know, he would tell them. But why they suddenly cared, Harry didn't know. "What didn't happen to me is what you should be asking," Harry muttered quietly to himself. He took a deep breath. "You remember last summer, how I used to have those nightmares?" His aunt and uncle nodded. "A classmate of mine was murdered in front of me."

His aunt and uncle looked at him incredulously and with horrified eyes. Harry didn't know why he chose to start there, probably because that was where all this really started to come crashing down around him.

Harry told them of his entire encounter with the newly resurrected Dark Lord, his summer after he had left Privet Drive, his school year with Umbridge, how he ran the illegal Defense group and his Christmas at Grimmauld Place. He told them everything, spilled it all forth without any interruptions at all. And when he came to the part of the Department of Mysteries, Sirius' death, and the prophecy Dumbledore had laid on him, he was surprised when his aunt sat next to him on the couch and put her arm around his shoulders as he finally let himself really cry.

Harry dried his tears on his sleeve and Petunia stood from the couch. She looked at Vernon's shocked face, as did Harry and then she looked back at Harry, not quite meeting his eyes. "You should get along to bed; it's been a long day."

Harry nodded and then left the sitting room. He had no idea what his relatives' reactions were going to be. His reaction wasn't a very happy one, and he lived through it. Harry actually decided to do as his aunt said and went upstairs to go to bed early. Harry wasn't surprised to see an owl waiting for him when he got there. He shook his head and was about to take the letter, but then stopped, if he gave in now then he'd have to deal with the lot of them all summer.

"Take the letter back, I'm not opening it," Harry said to the brown barn owl on his bed. The owl held up the letter, as if to say, last chance. Harry shook his head and the owl took the letter and left back out the window. Harry walked over, closed the window, and locked it, and then he got changed and quickly fell into a restless sleep, full of dark corridors, graveyards, veils, and shadows.

--

The next morning while Harry was getting dressed another owl tried to deliver yet another letter, but again Harry told the owl to go back even though the front of the letter clearly said in Hermione's writing, _read me, from Hermione_. She probably wanted to know why Hedwig was with her and why she wouldn't deliver any mail.

Harry stepped out into the hallway to go downstairs and start breakfast, as was his normal routine, when the room started to spin violently. Harry grabbed out for the wall to keep himself from falling, but only managed to grab onto a very startled Dudley and bring him down with him as he blacked out.

"Potter!" yelled Dudley as he extricated himself. "Mum, Dad!" he yelled when he didn't get any response from Harry.

Petunia and Vernon ran out of their bedroom, still in their night clothes, as Dudley shook Harry a bit harder and Harry blinked open his eyes. "Dudley, what?" he asked incoherently.

"You fainted," Dudley told him as Harry pushed himself unsteadily back to his feet.

"That's the second time that's happened," Petunia said.

"I'm fine," Harry said forcefully as he shook his head. "Really," he said firmly when Petunia looked like she didn't believe him. "I'm sure it's nothing. I've had a hard couple weeks; it's probably all just catching up to me."

Harry took in a deep breath. He didn't quite believe that himself, but he chose to shrug it off again and continued on downstairs. His aunt, uncle, and cousin followed him, watching him closely; even as he made breakfast for everyone. They ate in silence. Again, Harry got a rather large portion, but nobody commented, even when he only finished half.

After breakfast, Harry went back upstairs to do what small amount of summer homework he had. It wasn't much considering he didn't know what classes he'd be able to take come fall. Mostly it was reading, but Snape, being Snape had given an essay for homework regardless. Harry decided to get it out of the way.

By the time lunch rolled around, Harry had finished his rather lengthy essay and started on some reading for Transfiguration. He was starting to feel a bit hungry, so after marking his place, he left his room and headed downstairs.

He had just gotten supplies out to cook lunch when his aunt came into the kitchen and to Harry's astonishment started to help him with lunch. Harry tried to pretend that this was normal, but he kept glancing over at his aunt curiously.

After a bit, his aunt looked over at him from her spot cutting up lettuce. "How are you feeling?" she asked quite bluntly.

Harry shook his head, but didn't look up at her. "I'm fine," he answered.

"I didn't ask if you were fine, I asked how you were feeling," Petunia stated.

"I feel fine," Harry lied. He was actually feeling kind of sluggish.

"You're pale," Petunia pointed out. "More than normal," she added when Harry glanced at her.

"I haven't had much sun," Harry answered back almost immediately.

Petunia turned back to her lettuce, seeming to drop the subject and Harry turned back to his preparations. Dudley came in a few minutes later, probably to ask when lunch would be ready. Harry answered his question before he could ask and Dudley stared at him for a moment before turning and leaving the kitchen.

"I don't want you to return to Hogwarts," Petunia said suddenly. Harry stilled in what he was doing and glared up at his aunt. She put her knife aside with a sigh and turned to look at him in the eyes. "I won't pretend that I'm comfortable with you being, one of them, but…"

"I can't exactly change who I am," Harry began to argue.

"I know, and I have no right keeping you from going back to school, I dare say I likely couldn't stop you from going back," Petunia continued. "I only wish it were safer for you –"

"I don't think it'll ever be safe for me, Aunt Petunia," Harry stated and turned back to finish with lunch. "But regardless of the problems there, it's where I belong. I could never willingly give up magic."

Petunia closed her eyes for a moment and then looked up again. "Harry, you are my nephew, my sister's son and part of my family, regardless of my feelings towards Lily. I don't want you to die."

Harry stilled again. "I'm not going to die," he muttered, though he didn't quite believe it himself.

"I fear you might if you go back," Petunia whispered and returned to what she was doing. Harry didn't have a response to that, because he feared it too.

Dudley, Petunia and Harry all sat down to lunch a short while later, but Harry after a few bites wasn't as hungry as he had been earlier. He didn't know what was up with him, he was practically starving earlier. Harry bit his lip and then pushed his plate away.

Petunia looked up at him. "Are you sure you are feeling all right, you haven't eaten hardly anything."

"I'm not really that hungry, I'll save the rest for later, maybe I'll want something then," Harry said with a sigh. Petunia opened her mouth to comment but then closed it again. Harry stood and put his food away. "I'm going to go for a walk, I need some air."

"Potter," Harry turned back to his aunt. "Don't go too far; I know those – those people might be watching out for you, but…"

Harry nodded. "I know; I'll stay on Privet Drive."

With that said, Harry left the kitchen and walked out into the bright, sunny afternoon. As he walked down the street with is hands in his pockets, he couldn't help but think over his aunts words. She thought of him as family. His aunt had never been as mean and bullying to him as his uncle, but she'd never called him family before, burden yes, but not family. A small space in his heart swelled at fact that she cared whether he lived or died, that she actually saw him as family. It was a small gesture really, but it was still there.

True to his word, Harry didn't go very far, only to the end of the block. He was on his way back when he started to feel dizzy again and he sat down on the curb outside number fifteen and put his head in his hands, breathing deeply until the dizziness went away.

Harry lifted his head and noticed his hands were lightly shaking. He clenched them tightly to stop them. "What's wrong with me?" he muttered to himself.

"Hey, you all right there?" A voice came from over Harry's shoulder and he turned to look up at a girl about his age. She was clutching to her hip a one-year-old boy as the boy pulled on her equally blond hair and fussed about something that was mostly baby talk.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He was about to get up and walk on, knowing that most of his neighbors had warned their kids to stay away from the delinquent Potter boy, but before he could, the girl surprised him and sat down beside him, setting the boy on her lap.

"This is Sammy, he's my baby brother and I'm Danielle Crawford, we're just moved here," the newly named Danielle said, as she pointed over her shoulder to number fifteen that Harry now saw had a moving van parked in their drive.

"Harry Potter," Harry said in return, after a moment's hesitation. "I live at number four with my aunt, uncle, and cousin."

"Oh, do you go to Stonewall?" Danielle asked.

Harry hesitated again, but then shook his head. "No, I go to, umm, St.…"

"A private school up north, very elite, very hard to get into," Dudley suddenly said loudly from across the street. He crossed at a slow jog. "I'm Dudley, Harry's cousin. Mum said someone was moving in, but wasn't sure who. Guess I can answer her question on who, now."

Harry gaped at his cousin from his still seated position. Danielle looked up at Dudley and smiled. "Yep, just my mom, Sammy and me," Danielle said, but looked a little sad in Harry's opinion.

Dudley gave her and the boy a lopsided smile before turning back to Harry. "Mum and I are going to the Market. She wanted to know if you wanted to go, and if not, she wants you to stay inside until we get back."

"Oh, umm, I'll come back to the house, I'm not feeling so good," Harry said truthfully as he stood and brushed himself off.

Dudley looked Harry up and down and must have decided that he agreed with Harry because he said, "You don't look so good."

Harry shrugged. "I guess I'll see you around, Danielle."

"Sure, hope you feel better, come by anytime, don't really have a lot of friends yet, you to Dudley, and please, call me Danny."

Harry smiled slight and then nodded and walked back to number four with his cousin. "Dudley, thank you for not saying that I go to St. Brutus'," Harry said softly.

"Thank you for saving my life last year," Dudley said with equal softness and the two entered number four without any further conversation.

Harry went to his room as soon as they returned and noticed four more owls waiting for him. He recognized all of the handwriting and one by one, told the owls to take the letters back. He hesitated when it came to the one from Remus, but with a sigh, sent that one on its way as well, and then he laid down on his bed to take a nap and get the Wizarding world out of his head.

--

_To be continued…_


	2. A New Friend

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. ___

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Chapter Two – A New Friend

It had been a few days and Harry was feeling much better than when he'd gotten home. He was still a bit tired and he didn't have much of an appetite, but he hadn't had any more dizziness. He assumed he was right in his assumption that his entire year was finally catching up to him, and now more than ever, he was glad of his decision to pull away from the Wizarding world for the summer. And with his relatives being on civil terms with him, he was actually starting to be happy to be home.

Harry walked up to number fifteen and hesitantly rang the doorbell. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he'd been walking by and decided to stop in on the Muggle girl he'd met the other day. He waited for a few minutes and was just about to turn and leave, deciding they weren't home, when a woman pulled open the door.

She must have been Danielle and Sammy's mum, because they were her spitting image. Same eye color and hair color, Danielle even had her mother's nose and slender build and Harry wondered what the two got from their dad if so much was taken from their mum.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I was looking for Danielle, I'm Harry Potter from down the street at number four," Harry said all in one breath.

"Oh, yes, Danny had said she'd met a couple local kids. Do come in, she's upstairs, I'll go get her."

Harry stepped into the entry hall and saw Sammy in the living room, in the middle of a pile of blocks that he looked like he was having more fun throwing at the sofa across from him, than stacking with the others, his mum had probably put up. Harry smiled and wondered if he was like that as a kid. He couldn't remember much before the age of six and then he'd had his cupboard and Dudley's broken toys if he were lucky, and yet, for some reason he didn't resent his relatives anymore for it.

"Harry, you're looking better!" Danielle exclaimed as she came down the stairs.

"I'm feeling better, I must have caught something before leaving school," Harry laughed. "Or it could be the summer homework load."

"Summer homework, ouch, that's got to be horrible. Isn't summer supposed to be about being away from school?" Danielle asked.

"I suppose my professors never got the letter on that one," Harry laughed and Danielle laughed as well.

"You kids going to be sticking around the house, or can ask a favor of you?" Mrs. Crawford asked.

"Depends on what the favor is, Mom," Danielle chirped and Mrs. Crawford chuckled.

"I need some things picked up at the market for dinner tonight, it's a short list and I'll even throw in a couple extra pounds for ice cream on your way back."

"Ice cream, excellent!" exclaimed Danielle and took the list from her mum. Harry bit his lip, trying to decide whether or not he should go. The Order wouldn't like it if he left Privet Drive. "Oh, I'm sorry, I should have asked if you wanted to go," Danielle said contritely as she noticed the look on his face.

Harry shook his head and smiled slightly. "No, it's all right, I can go. I'm not doing anything else anyways."

"Great, let me put my shoes on and I'll be right back down," Danielle said with a smile and ran back up stairs.

"So, Harry," Mrs. Crawford said. "Do you go to Stonewall?"

"No, I go to a private boarding school in Scotland. I'm only here during the summer months," Harry answered as honestly as he could.

"Oh, that must be hard on you, being away from your mother and father all year?"

Harry took a deep breath in as he looked at his feet and then he looked back up at the woman. It had been an innocent question, but even though he'd never known his parents, it was still hard to tell people about them, they always had that look of pity in their eyes. "My parents died when I one, I live with my aunt, uncle and cousin."

"I'm so sorry, Harry," Mrs. Crawford said apologetically.

"It's all right, you didn't know," Harry said, smiling slightly. Danielle looked at him from the stairs with sadness in her eyes briefly, then she came barreling the rest of the way down the stairs, and taking the money from her mum dragged Harry out of the house. Harry barely had time to wave bye to Mrs. Crawford.

Harry followed behind Danielle in amusement as she skipped ahead of him down the street. They were just turning off Privet Drive when Harry hesitated, but then squared his shoulders and raced to keep up with his new, and first, Muggle friend.

Harry figured if Voldemort or Death Eaters were going to attack him, they'd attack him whether he was on Privet Drive or not. And he knew it was reckless, but if he was putting aside the Wizarding world for the summer, he was going to put aside his fear until it mattered in the face of the fear itself.

Harry pointed out the park and the primary school, he and Dudley had attended. He told her how horrible his cousin and friends had been to him, but made sure to say that Dudley had grown up a lot since then, it was true after all. Harry left out the part that he was the reason his cousin had grown up so much.

"That's the way to Stonewall, by the way," Harry said when they'd passed the street.

"Oh, thanks, but I don't go there," Danielle said, looking a little embarrassed. Harry was surprised to learn that she wasn't going to Stonewall, he'd assumed she was as both her mum and her had asked if he was going there. "I'm attending the King's School in Canterbury, I board there during the school term."

After Danielle got done explaining that, Harry asked, "Why did you and your mum ask if I attended Stonewall if you're not going there yourself?"

"Well it's local and close by, and Privet Drive may be nice and all, but it doesn't seem like a place an average looking teen would have enough money to go to a private institution," Danielle explained as she walked beside him.

"You think I'm average?" Harry asked with a small smirk.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend…"

Harry smiled and then laughed and Danielle realized he was having her on, and rolled her eyes. "No, I'm glad you think I'm average. It's nice to be average once in a while. I'm sort of a celebrity back at school. I can't really go anywhere without someone gawking at me."

"Really, why's that, are you a hotshot sports player or something? I mean, no offence, but you don't much look like you play sports."

Harry laughed. "I suppose I don't look like I do a lot of things. Actually, up until last term, I played, umm, Rugby," Harry improvised and nearly cringed at the thought that he hadn't made up things like this before, for these types of situations. He was just glad that he grew up Muggle and Rugby was kind of like Quidditch, could be just as dangerous at any rate.

"Up until, why did you stop?" Danielle asked curiously, as they entered the market.

"Stupid really, I hit someone and got banned from the team," Harry said sheepishly. "But Malfoy shouldn't have been badmouthing my parents like that, and the professor who banned me was a real evil witch and I mean that in the literal sense, she gave me this in detention." Harry held up his hand, where the scar, _I must not tell lies_, was etched into his skin. He didn't know why he'd shown her the scar, it was an impulse decision.

Danielle grabbed Harry's hand and looked at it more closely. "Oh my God, that's horrible, she didn't get away with this, did she?!"

"Oh she most certainly didn't get away unscathed," Harry said as he took back his hand and rubbed his thumb over the scar, thinking about how Umbridge reacted to the clip clop noises in the hospital wing and kind of wished the centaurs had just finished her off.

Danielle shook her head and then pulled out the list and they started on gathering the things needed. As they approached the register to pay, Harry nearly backtracked, but it was too late, he'd already been seen.

Harry bit his lip and hoped they didn't approach him while he was with Danielle. He knew he shouldn't have left Privet Drive, but he'd been having a good time talking with Danielle. Harry's hopes were dashed the moment he saw the stern glares leveled on him.

Harry looked at Danielle, she was paying. "Hey, Danny, I'm going to be outside, there's someone who wants to talk to me," Harry said quietly and Danielle looked at where Harry was looking, she narrowed her eyes at the couple.

"Okay, I'll only be a minute here, I'll be right out."

Harry nodded and walked out of the market. He stopped in front of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. "My letter was quite clear," Harry said, not looking at either of them.

"Harry, I know I'm not your godfather…" Remus began.

Anger shot through Harry and he brought his eyes up to meet Remus'. "You're right, he's dead," Harry said bluntly, and Remus and Tonks flinched violently. He looked away from the three as he blinked back his tears, he hadn't meant to sound so harsh. Remus and Tonks were probably missing Sirius as much as he was.

Harry glanced over his shoulder to see Danielle coming out of the store and then he turned back. "Look, I'm sorry," he said with a sigh. "I'm fine; I'm dealing with this all on my own. I just want the summer, that's all I ask. Please, don't contact me again. I'll be on the train September First." With that said, Harry walked away, back to Danielle, who was looking at the two staring after him.

Harry took one of the two bags. "Who are they, Harry?" she asked lightly, as they started to walk away.

"People who knew my godfather," Harry said, forcing the thoughts of the end of the year out of his mind. "Come on, the ice cream place isn't far from here."

Danielle looked back, but the two were gone, and she skipped ahead to catch up with Harry. After they got their ice cream and headed back to number fifteen, Harry was asked to stay for lunch, which he agree to, only if he could help cook. Danielle offered too, and Christine, which Harry found out was Danielle's mother's name, laughed and nodded at the two's eagerness.

Sammy even helped and soon the lot were sitting down with turkey sandwiches and macaroni and cheese for Sammy, who was having more fun throwing the food onto the table in front of him than actually eating it. Harry thought it was a riot and tried not to laugh as Christine was trying to be stern with the boy, he was failing miserably at it though.

"I don't know how his father did it," Christine said, giving up and going back to her own food. "Alston always had a way with Sammy."

Harry right away noticed the somber air that started to settle at the table, and he could already guess that Danielle and Sammy's dad, and Christine's husband, had died and probably recently. He was too familiar with death not to notice the signs of it. Harry started playing with the remains of his food, debating whether or not to ask, but Christine solved his problem for him.

"Alston died last year of cancer. He'd been battling if off and on for several years and it finally caught up to him," Christine said sadly, looking at Sammy.

Danielle dropped the half of sandwich she was holding. "May I be excused," she said, before she left the kitchen without waiting for a reply.

"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly. "I know what it's like to keep up the front, but really it's tearing you up inside," Harry whispered as he thought of Sirius.

"I'm sorry too, Harry," Christine said solemnly, but then gave him a small smile. "I've had a long time to get used to the idea. It's harder on Danny. She's been away at school most of the time, so his death was a little more sudden for her."

"At least she has you." Harry brought his dish to the sink. "I've got to get back, my aunt will be wondering where I've been."

"You're so mature for your age," Christine commented.

"Believe me, Mrs. Crawford, I can be very immature," Harry chuckled. "Thanks for lunch, tell Danielle I'll see her tomorrow maybe, and I'm sure my aunt wouldn't mind if the three of you stopped by for tea at some point."

"We'll do that; I'll have Danny call ahead of time. Have a good day, Harry."

Harry nodded and left number fifteen. He thought it more tactful not to be there while the family was stuck in memories, especially as he was fighting down his own. He liked the Crawford's and thought it too bad that they had to be touched by death in such a way.

Harry entered number four and his aunt looked up from the kitchen table and her lunch, Dudley must have gone out with his friends as she was alone. "Have you eaten?" she asked as he came into the kitchen.

Harry nodded and sat down, feeling drained. "I had lunch at the Crawford's, they're nice people; I think you'd like Mrs. Crawford. She said she'd have Danielle call about having tea sometime."

"That's good. How have you been feeling?" Petunia asked. She'd ask this every day, sometimes twice a day, since he'd gotten home. His appearance must not be back to its normal self from whatever bug or whatnot he'd caught.

"A little tired, but I've been walking all morning," Harry answered. Petunia nodded, scrutinizing him. Harry stood. "I've got some summer reading I have to finish up, do you want help with dinner?"

Petunia hesitated, but then nodded. "If you want to help," she said.

Harry went up stairs and read from his Charms book, practicing the movements for spells with his hand every once in a while. He was pretty confident that come September he would easily be able do most of the spells he'd come across by the time he'd finished reading. He liked Charms and he hoped he got a fairly good grade on his OWL's so he could continue in it.

Harry went down stairs to help his aunt a while later. Dudley was back and Vernon was home, both were in the living room watching the television. Harry went into the kitchen and silently started to prepare dinner for the family with his aunt.

Harry closed his eyes briefly when the room swam in front of his eyes, but he shook it off as he stirred the green beans he was cooking on the stove. He ran a slightly shaking hand through his hair and ignored his aunt's stare. He was starting to feel rather horrid, but like always, he took a deep breath and pushed it away to the back of his mind.

Harry noticed that Petunia continued to watch him closely as she sliced tomatoes. She opened her mouth, about to comment, when Dudley came into the kitchen, probably to find out when dinner was ready. Harry turned to tell him it would be about ten minutes before he could ask, but as Harry turned, the room started to spin again.

Harry grabbed the stovetop to keep himself up right and burned his hand in the process. He barely noticed, before he fell unconscious in a heap on the floor.

"Harry!" Petunia yelled and dropped down to shake her nephew, but he didn't respond. "Vernon!" she shouted. "Dudley, call an ambulance." Dudley stared back at her. "Now!" she shouted and Dudley jumped to the phone on the wall.

--

_To be continued…_


	3. Cancer

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Three - Cancer

Harry woke up to darkened white walls and his initial thought was how had he gotten to Hogwarts? But then he noticed that the room he was in was small and full of Muggle medical equipment. He was hooked up to a machine that was keeping the rhythm of his heart, and he groggily wondered why he was here.

Harry swept his eyes around and took an assessment of the darkened room. There was a window to his left and a door to his right. The sun was down; evident by the darkness outside of the window, and the little light that was filtering into the room was from a small window in the closed door. He noted that he was alone in the room and he was uncertain why. Surely, his aunt and uncle wouldn't have paid for him to have a private room?

Harry moved to sit up, but found that his hip hurt when he did and he couldn't move very far anyways as he was currently hooked up to several monitors, and there was an intravenous in the crook of his right arm. Harry looked around again; contemplating how he was going to get any attention seeing as the door was closed and he didn't know how far away the nearest nurse was, so he didn't think shouting would help any.

His unclear gaze landed on what looked like some sort of television remote, except it didn't have any channel buttons. The up and down was obvious to him, it controlled the bed he was lying in. The third button had a faded call underneath it. Harry reflected on how many times it must have been pressed in the past as he reached out his bandaged left hand, just then noticing it was bandaged, and pressed the button.

A few moments later, a woman came in and picked up his chart and marked something on it before she smiled up at him. She walked over to the side of his bed, and clicked on the table lamp. Harry blinked from the sudden light and opened his mouth to find out why he was here, but the nurse cut him off.

"The doctor and your aunt and uncle will be here in a few minutes to tell you anything you'd like to know. How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get for you?" she said politely, but almost routinely, as she handed him his glasses from the bedside table.

Harry shook his head and then fumbling with his glasses, put them on; glad that he could now see clearly. "I'm fine, but could I get a glass of water?"

The nurse nodded and poured him a glass from the pitcher on the bedside table. She pressed the up button on the remote and the head side of his bed slowly started to rise. Harry winced as he tried to push himself up into a more stable sitting position as the bed stopped. The right side of his hip was very sore. Harry took the glass of water, when the nurse finally handed it out to him. He took a couple of sips before he looked up to her.

"Why does my hip hurt so much?" Harry asked.

"I think I'll leave that to the doctor to explain. Is there anything else I can get you?" The nurse asked, obviously changing the subject. Harry was beginning to think that something more than him passing out a couple times was wrong with him. He shook his head. "All right then, the doctor will be here in a moment, I'll just be across the hall. Press the button if you need anything."

Harry nodded and watched as the nurse left. What was wrong with him? Obviously, whatever it was, he wasn't contagious as the nurse left the door open and she hadn't worn a mask or anything. Harry again pondered why his relatives would give him a private room; he'd barely warranted even medical care in the past.

It was another long few minutes before a man in a white lab coat entered with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon following. His aunt was rather white and his uncle was looking anywhere else but at him. Harry got the distinct feeling that this wasn't because of the being a Wizard thing.

"Hello, Harry, my name his Doctor Hamilton, can you tell me what the last thing you remember is?" the doctor asked, pulling up a stool and sitting down beside Harry's bed.

Harry looked from his uncle to his aunt and then to the doctor. "Umm, I was cooking dinner with Aunt Petunia and I remember turning to talk to my cousin." Harry shook his head. "That's all. I assume I must have passed out though, but why am I here? I've passed out before."

"Your aunt couldn't wake you so she called an ambulance. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, Harry?" Doctor Hamilton asked kindly. Harry shook his head. "When was the first time you passed out?"

"A few days ago, after I got back from school; I was unpacking. Aunt Petunia woke me," Harry answered.

The doctor nodded and jotted something down on Harry's chart. "Have you felt any tiredness, had many headaches or dizziness before returning home?"

With the exception of bouts of pain from Voldemort, Harry didn't think he had suffered from headaches, but he couldn't be sure. Dizziness, nothing like what he'd had the last couple days. Tiredness though, yeah, he was always tired, but he had chocked that up to the OWL's studying and his entire end of year.

"I assume you've had all of the above and are trying to decide if it has any relevance," Doctor Hamilton said. Harry nodded, focusing back from his thinking. "How about weight loss, have you lost weight even though you've been eating well?"

Harry nodded again. "Yeah, I've lost some weight, but I've been, umm… fencing, so I figured it was from that." Harry had to think fast, he almost said practicing dueling, as he had been doing that with the DA, well at least until they were ousted. "But I finished that around the first week of April." _Involuntarily_, Harry added in his mind.

The doctor nodded and wrote down some more things on his chart. Harry looked around the room again and noticed that his aunt and uncle had sat in two chairs on the side of the room and Petunia was clutching at Vernon's arm. Harry looked back to the doctor.

"How long have I been unconscious?" he asked.

"You've been unconscious nearly a night. It's now 3:30 in the morning. Fortunately, most of that time was an induced unconscious state. We thought it best if you stayed unconscious through the biopsy," the doctor explained.

"Biopsy?" asked Harry, looking at his bandaged hand. The doctor noticed his confusion.

"You tried to catch yourself when you passed out and burned your hand on the stove. Luckily, it wasn't a bad burn. The bandages are just in case you start to bleed again." Harry looked at the doctor in confusion again. Why would he bleed if it wasn't a bad burn? Harry moved to question him, but the doctor continued. "Your hip may hurt, because we took some bone marrow from you to test. That was the procedure; the biopsy, that we felt you should remain unconscious for. It can be rather painful."

"Bone marrow?" asked Harry, a slight panic washing over him. The heart rate monitor picked up his quickened heartbeat and Harry stared at the machine for a moment. "Why would you need to test my bone marrow?" he asked, turning back to the doctor.

"When you arrived, we took a blood sample. Your hand was bleeding far more than it should for such a minor wound and it wasn't clotting. What we found in your blood was a high level of white blood cells, too high of a count to be normal. Also, you had a low hemoglobin count. So with your aunt and uncle's permission we took a bone marrow sample. It is being analyzed now and the results should be with us in a few minutes."

Harry looked down at his hands. He was so confused. He didn't understand half of what the doctor was saying. He remembered the term bone marrow from primary school when one of his classmates had come in talking about his brother needing a bone marrow transplant, but he wasn't sure what that was. Only that the boy's brother had died before he got one. Did he need one?

Harry now cursed that he hadn't had more Muggle schooling. He might understand what was going on if he had. He wondered if maybe he should look into getting a Wizarding Healer. Surely, they'd be able to make him understand what was happening to him.

Harry's aunt must have seen the confusion in her nephew's eyes as she stood up and walked over to him. She put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "Why don't we wait until the results come in and then let the doctor explain?"

Harry looked up to his aunt. "This is serious isn't it?" Harry asked. He was really starting to get scared now. "What's wrong with me?"

"We won't know for certain if there is anything wrong with you until we get the results back, Harry. So just relax while I go see what is keeping those results." Doctor Hamilton got up and left the room.

Harry bit on his lip nervously as they waited. Aunt Petunia had taken her seat next to Vernon again and Harry looked over at the two. His aunt looked just as nervous as he felt, but Harry didn't know why he was nervous. He wasn't really sure if he had anything to be nervous about. If there was something wrong with him, he could probably go see a Healer and get fixed up right quick. If he was with a healer right now his hand wouldn't be bandaged, it'd be healed. And he knew for certain that his hip wouldn't hurt in the slightest.

Harry looked to his relatives again; he really wanted to ask for them to bring him to St. Mungo's Hospital, but before he got the chance, the Doctor came back in with a grave look on his face. He again sat down next to Harry. He briefly looked at Petunia and Vernon before he looked at Harry.

"I'm sorry, Harry, the tests were conclusive..."

--

"Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, that's what the doctor called it," Harry said shakily.

Danielle put her hand to her mouth and tears came to her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Your mum told me about your dad. I just thought you should know. I'd understand if you don't want to hang out with me anymore…"

"No, Harry, I'm just…" Danielle took in a deep breath and shook her head. "Do they know if… if your curable?"

Harry shrugged. "They think they've caught it in time. I won't know for sure until after my appointment this afternoon."

The moment they'd left the hospital yesterday morning, Harry had immediately told his aunt and uncle to take him to St. Mungo's. They'd agreed when they'd learned the prognosis wasn't too good. He hadn't given his name to avoid Death Eaters and press, as his aunt and uncle waited in the car, and he'd kept his famous scar hidden. He didn't know why he didn't just write the Order and Dumbledore, but he felt like he needed to deal with this on his own.

The nurse at the front desk had little answers for him, apparently they didn't have any Healers there that treated cancer, but she did have a name for him and he'd learned that the one who might be able to help him was in London at a cancer research hospital. They'd made an appointment for that afternoon.

Danielle had come by a short while ago to see if Harry wanted to do something, and Harry had decided to just come out and tell her, especially as her dad had just died from Cancer, and he wanted to give his new friend the choice of staying friends with him or not.

"Can I come with you?" Danielle asked after a few minutes of silence between them.

"I guess, if you want, but why would you, I mean…"

"I didn't get to be there for my dad, but I can be here for you, if you want me to be," she said taking his hand.

Harry smiled slightly. "I want you to be."

"Harry, we should be going," Petunia said from the living room doorway and Harry nodded.

Danielle stood and pulled Harry to his feet. "Everything's going to be all right, I just know it."

Harry squeezed Danielle's hand and nodded. He wasn't yet sure he believed that himself, but with the smile Danielle gave him he was close to believing it.

--

_To be continued…_


	4. Acceptance

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Four – Acceptance

Harry sat in the stony after silence with his head in his hands. It had been two months since he'd found out about his Leukemia. Two months of pure hell really, and now this was just the tip of the iceberg. Doctor Mark Gleihgan and Harry's aunt sat silently beside him, while Doctor Elaina Forge's words still rung in his ears.

"_The tests came back positive. I'm sorry, Harry, the cancer's progressed quite far. I'd say you have a few months, maybe more."_

"We can start you on treatments again as early as this evening, Harry –" Mark started.

Harry shook his head, not looking up. "No, no, no more," Harry sighed sadly and tiredly, fighting back a sob.

He'd had enough; he was tired of being sick. He had been in and out of the cancer hospital all summer for aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatments. School was starting in a couple of days and he wanted to be there for the rest of whatever time he had left. He wanted to be with his friends, if he still had any…

As he looked up to the two medical partners, who had been both his Muggle and Magical physicians since the first week back from school, he glanced at his aunt who was staring numbly at him with tears in her eyes. "Aunt Petunia, please, I don't want to go through Chemo anymore," Harry pleaded shakily.

Petunia closed her eyes briefly and then breathed in and out deeply, before she looked up at the two doctors. "You are sure there isn't a m-magical cure? Harry said that if we found a W-Wizarding doctor that there'd be a cure."

Mark looked at the woman with sympathy and then at the boy sitting dejectedly in front of him, this had already been thoroughly explained to the boy at the beginning, but obviously hadn't been explained to his aunt. He looked back to her. "You have to understand, Mrs. Dursley, Cancer is not a Wizarding disease; very few Wizards have ever been diagnosed with it. Any magic that could fight it has only ever sped the disease up for reasons unknown. I'm very sorry, but Harry's only chance is to continue with the Muggle methods."

"Harry, we have had some remarkable breakthroughs with Chemotherapy, there is a chance that you could still go into remission if you continue," Elaina argued.

Harry shook his head adamantly. "I've seen the odds, it's not worth it, and I'd likely die during treatment anyways. I'm tired all the time. I'm sick so much that most days I can't even get out of bed. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I want to go to school and be with my friends while I – while I still can. Please, Aunt Petunia, please don't make me," Harry pled again, looking at his aunt and fighting back his tears.

Petunia looked at her nephew, into his frightened green eyes, eyes that were his mother's, her sister's. They'd never got along, Harry and her, but she'd seen him over the last weeks, fighting to be strong even when she had to take care of him when he hadn't the strength to stand after treatments. This was a side to her nephew that she couldn't ignore any longer. There was a lot she had learned about the boy this summer. Harry was a nice, brave kid, even with being a Wizard; he didn't disserve this, especially not after losing his godfather and all he'd gone through.

"If Harry doesn't want the treatments anymore, then he won't continue with the treatments," Petunia said firmly, though it cost her much to know that the boy now only had months left to live, if that.

"Thank you," Harry whispered, lowering his eyes to his hands and breathing out heavily.

The doctors both sighed. "All right, Harry, but there are going to be things that you will have to know," Elaina said seriously. "Especially once you get to the final stages."

"You are going to have to tell your Headmaster and Head of House, as well as the Hogwarts Medi-Witch. We're going to give you some medicines to help once the pain gets worse, as well as some nutritional supplements for days when you don't have an appetite. I will explain everything before you leave here and show you how to inject them yourself and the proper amount of pills to take."

Harry nodded and then asked for a few minutes alone. He needed time to process all of this. Everyone complied and left him in the medical office alone. Harry put his head in his hands again. He couldn't believe all this was happening. He couldn't believe it when he had first found out, now it just seemed so unreal.

He was dying.

And he had to tell everyone, he had to tell Danielle, who'd already lost her father to cancer. And Voldemort was still out there and he was supposed to be the only one to defeat him, but he was dying.

He was dying.

Harry choked back a sob and then another until he finally just let his tears come.

--

"You have everything? Medicines, syringes; all the instructions the doctors gave you, you understand it all?" Aunt Petunia asked fretfully on the morning of the First of September.

Harry nodded as he pulled on his jacket, a new jacket bought for him by his aunt, as were the clothes he wore that actually fit him. He was still getting used to his family caring about him. It seemed that the second they had found out about the cancer they had really realized that he was only human and not some freakish monster left on their doorstep at the age of one. Harry had grown quite close to his aunt as she had been the one primarily to help him after each treatment.

Danielle had been there just about as much through the entire summer as his aunt. He'd assumed that once she found out about his cancer that she'd not want to be around him anymore, but she'd stuck by him everyday. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, saying goodbye to her the night before. But he was glad she went to a boarding school as well. He didn't want to put her through seeing him die like she did her father.

"I have everything, Aunt Petunia, and yes I understand all the instructions," Harry assured her awkwardly and took the black knit cap she held out to him. He'd taken to wearing it after the second week of treatment when his hair started falling out. Danielle had bought it for him. It was the only thing that hid his scar now. He put it on, thinking sadly that at least now he didn't have to worry about the messiness of his hair, as he didn't have any.

Harry's aunt looked to be indecisive about something as she rung her hands, and then she suddenly hugged Harry. Harry was momentarily taken aback, but then briefly hugged her back before she let go just as quickly as she'd grabbed onto him. "If – if you're up to it, we'd love to have you home at Christmas."

Harry's mouth dropped open, but he quickly closed it and then nodded. "If I'm –" Harry stopped abruptly, not able to continue and swallowed back his tears. "I'll be home for Christmas," he said firmly instead.

Uncle Vernon walked into the house from bringing Harry's trunk out to the car. "We'd better be going, Harry, don't want to miss your train," he said softly. Harry nodded and picked up his empty owl cage. Harry missed his owl and couldn't wait to see her again.

"You be sure to tell that man – the Headmaster of yours, to o-owl us if you – if you…"

Harry nodded sadly to his aunt. "I will," he sighed.

Petunia hugged him again briefly and this time Harry reciprocated right away. When he pulled back, his aunt had tears slipping down her cheeks. He closed his own eyes and then turned to follow his uncle out, but stopped abruptly when Dudley called from the stairs.

"Harry, I just – I wanted – Take care, Harry," Dudley said lightly.

"You too, Dudley," Harry said back and then followed his uncle out to the car. He looked back at the house he'd grown up in as they pulled away. This was likely the last time he'd ever see it, and for the first time, he wasn't so eager to leave it.

The ride to Kings Cross seemed to be very short. The time was spent in silence, with Harry staring out the window deep in thought. He knew he'd see his friends and the Weasley's when he got to the station, but he wasn't sure if that was where he wanted to confront all of them about this. He knew he needed to tell them, but the truth was he didn't know how they all felt about him. He'd not answered any of their mail and had sent their letters back unopened, including his birthday presents. He just couldn't deal with both the Wizarding world and his cancer, and his friends just happened to be part of the Wizarding world. And maybe in the long run, it would be better if they didn't care for him.

When they got there, Vernon parked the car in the car park, and unlike past times, he helped Harry get his trunk out and onto a trolley and then walked with Harry to platform nine. When they got to the platform, Vernon spoke for the first time, making Harry look up from his feet, at him.

"If you'd like, Harry, I'll tell them for you."

Harry glanced to where his uncle was looking and saw that the Weasley's were just arriving as well. He was tempted to call out to them, but didn't as he turned back to his uncle and shook his head. "No, thank you, Uncle Vernon, I'll tell them," Harry said with a heavy sigh and then continued to walk forward, Hedwig's cage held more tightly in his hands, but then he stopped and looked back at his uncle. "I can get my trunk the rest of the way, y-you don't have to follow me to the other platform if you don't want to," Harry said lightly.

Vernon watched the group of redheads disappear through the apparently solid metal barrier and then pushed Harry's trunk onward and straight through the barrier without even batting an eyelash. Harry could only followed in numb astonishment.

When he stepped through, he saw Vernon had called out to the Weasley's, who all stopped and turned to see Harry. Vernon put a hand on Harry's shoulder and steered him towards them, pushing Harry's trunk along. "You're Harry's friend then?" he asked Ron gruffly.

Ron nodded, just as shocked as Harry was, to see Vernon Dursley on Platform Nine and Three Quarters. He took in Harry's pail complexion with concern, as did the rest of the Weasleys. Harry just stared back at them, feeling guilty that he hadn't answered anyone's letters.

"Good," Vernon said curtly and then turned Harry to look at him, both his hands on Harry's shoulders. "If – if anything happens and you want to come home, I don't care if I have to drive all the way to that – that school of yours. We may never have gotten along, but you're family and we take care of our own."

Harry didn't know what to say. He knew that this might be the last time he ever saw the man, and Vernon was well aware of that as well. At one time, this would have been a wonderful occasion for both of them, but not any longer. Harry nodded reeling back his emotions. He swallowed thickly. "Thank you, Uncle Vernon, for everything," Harry said sincerely. "I- I'll see you at Christmas."

Vernon stared at his nephew for a long moment before he nodded. "O-owl us, so we know how you're doing. And if you change your mind about – we'll have them up to the school as soon as they can get there…"

"I'm not going to change my mind, Uncle Vernon, I'm sorry, but I – I just can't do it anymore," Harry said shakily, a tear slipping down his cheek.

Vernon nodded in understanding. "You're such a brave boy," he said sadly. "You t-take care, Harry," Vernon said waveringly and then squeezed Harry's shoulders briefly and turned and walked back through the barrier.

Harry stared after his uncle; Vernon had tears in his eyes as he left. Another tear fell down Harry's cheek. That had been the most emotion he'd ever seen from his uncle towards him. He was amazed at how much the man had changed over the last weeks, how they had all changed, including Harry, and he was finally proud to have all of them as his family and he was actually going to miss them.

"Harry?" Ron asked hesitantly.

Harry closed his eyes briefly and wiped away his tears before he turned back to the Weasley family. He forced a smile onto his face. "We should board before we get left behind," Harry said quickly and moved to push his trunk towards the train with difficulty, his strength was rather low today.

Mr. Weasley stepped in front of Harry though. "Harry, why didn't you write to anyone all summer, and why did your Aunt and Uncle Owl Dumbledore and tell everyone to leave you alone?" he asked for his whole family.

Harry looked up to Mr. Weasley and opened his mouth to say his already prepared speech about his illness, but as he looked into the man's eyes and then around at the other members of the Weasley family, he closed his mouth. He couldn't do it, not here, not yet. He wasn't ready for everyone to know yet. He shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, looking at all the Weasley's again, Ron in particular. "I just wanted to be left alone –"

Harry shook his head again, fighting to hold back his tears, and moved passed Mr. Weasley, who let him go this time. He needed to sit down, he was getting lightheaded. Harry struggled with his trunk, but quickly found a compartment. What he found in the compartment shocked the hell out him, and the other person.

"Danny!"

"Harry!" Harry swayed a bit and Danielle steadied him. "What are you doing here? Never mind, obviously you're a Wizard. Sit down, you look like you're about to collapse."

Harry shook his head and did as Danielle said and sat as she pulled his trunk into the compartment and stowed his owl cage above the rack. And then with a flick of her wand, his trunk followed it and she closed and locked the compartment door.

"You're a Witch," Harry stated the obvious, leaning his head tiredly back against the wall.

"I wanted to tell you all summer, but I thought you were a Muggle, and mom forbid me," Danielle said sitting down beside him and taking his hand. "I'm really sorry."

Harry shook his head and squeezed her hand. "It's all right, I wanted to tell you too, but I couldn't, but how is it you didn't know? I mean I'm Harry Potter."

Danielle tilted her head. "No really, that's your name?" she joked.

"That's not what I meant. Don't you know who I am? I mean everyone knows who I am. I'm in history books! I think my name is even more known than the Weird Sister's greatest hit."

Danielle shrugged and mouthed to herself the Weird Sisters, she'd obviously not heard of them either. "I lived in Canada up until moving to Surrey. We don't get much Wizarding news from over here. Europe is kind of a recluse to the rest of the Wizarding World. We get more news from China and Russia, than Britain," Danielle explained.

Harry just blinked at that explanation. He'd had no idea. He shrugged. "I guess it's kind of cool to meet a Witch that doesn't go all starry eyed when hearing my name." Danielle snorted. Harry laid his head on her shoulder. "I'm glad you're here," he whispered after a while.

Danielle squeezed his hand and then when she saw the tears in his eyes, she put her arm around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. "It's okay, Harry. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Harry laid down with his head on her lap just like he did during the summer, while they had watched movies when he couldn't do anything else. He started to cry in earnest until he had fallen asleep with Danielle rubbing his back comfortingly.

--

Harry awoke with a sharp stab of pain in his head, and grabbed his head as a wave of all too familiar dizziness washed over him, making his vision go from sharp white to black and white again before finally clearing. He steadied himself and then sat up and looked out the compartment window. He noted that they were very near Hogwarts. He'd slept most of the train ride, and apparently so had Danielle as she startled awake at his sudden movement.

"You okay?" she asked immediately, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, just a headache, it's gone. We're almost to Hogwarts," he said, to change the subject. Danielle let him; she was used to him not wanting to talk about it.

A knock came at the compartment door and Harry grabbed up his hat and adjusted it on his head before he opened the door a crack. Hermione was on the other side. "Hermione," he said quietly.

"Here you are, Harry, we've been looking all over for you. Are you all right? You look awful," Hermione said as she went to move Harry's hat to feel his forehead. Hedwig flew into the compartment as she moved further in and noticed Danielle.

Harry quickly stepped back away from Hermione's hand. "I'm fine, Hermione, is there something you wanted?" Harry asked almost coldly.

Hermione took a step back at the tone of Harry's voice. "I was worried about you. Ron said you were crying earlier and your uncle… Has something happened at home? Your aunt sounded upset the last few times I called."

"My family is fine, look we're going to be at Hogsmeade soon and I have to change." Harry closed the compartment door in Hermione's face and locked it again. He leaned his head on the door for a moment, breathing heavily and fighting back more tears, before he moved away from the door and sat back down. He didn't want to be mean to his friends, but he didn't want to deal with them right now, with the questions he had answers to, but didn't want to give.

"One of your friends?" asked Danielle softly, as she pet Hedwig, who'd landed on her lap.

Harry nodded. "Hermione; I don't know how to tell them. I don't want to tell them," Harry sighed heavily.

Danielle looked at him with concern, but only smiled at him slightly, and Harry was grateful for that. He was glad she wasn't going to push him into telling them yet.

Harry looked to his concerned owl as she nipped at his fingers, and pet her for a long while before he looked up to Danielle and suggested they change into their Hogwarts robes as the train started to slow. Danielle grabbed hers from the overhead rack and left the compartment to change. Harry changed quickly into his own and as the train slowed even more, he pocketed the small black case the doctors had given him and made sure his hat was in place.

Danielle came back and knocked on the door before entering when Harry opened it. They left their belongings on the train at Harry's prompting that the House Elves brought the luggage up to the Castle for them. With Hedwig on Harry's shoulder, they left the compartment. Harry stopped outside the washroom and left Danielle and his owl in the hall. She nodded in understanding as he entered.

He removed his hat and glasses and splashed water on his pale face. He looked in the mirror as he put his glasses back on. His eyes were red and he looked as tired as he felt, with dark circles around his eyes that weren't at all hidden by his glasses. But he was going to attend the Welcoming Feast; he didn't want people to wonder where he was. Harry glared at his pathetic reflection for a moment longer, before he pulled his hat back on and then exited the bathroom. Hedwig flew back to his shoulder and nestled his neck, just as the train came to a stop in the Hogsmeade station.

They were the first people off the train and probably the only ones to get a carriage to themselves. Harry didn't want to answer any questions at that moment, so he had ducked passed Hagrid who had started to call for first-years. Danielle didn't even hesitate in following Harry, though her letter had probably told her to follow the first years. When they got up to the school, they hurried into the Great Hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table, as far from where his friends normally sat, but it was unfortunately rather too close to the Head Table. Harry made an obvious sight, with his owl still on his shoulder and a Muggle nit hat on his head. Not to mention his emaciated appearance. He'd lost quite a bit of weight over the summer and this time it wasn't from lack of food.

Danielle gave Harry's hand a squeeze when Professor McGonagall asked for her to follow her, and McGonagall gave Harry a questioning gaze as the two left with Danielle's promise that she'd be back soon.

Dumbledore stood up as if about to question Harry, but Harry looked away and then his classmates were filing into the Great Hall and Dumbledore sat back down, looking in concern at Harry.

Harry knew he had to tell him tonight, but he was dreading the conversation. How could he tell anyone that the one person that was supposed to save the Wizarding world was dying? Harry could barely make himself believe it.

The sorting seemed to go on forever, but Harry wasn't really hungry anyways. He could see his friends down the table glancing his way and talking in whispers, and he looked away from them and stared at his empty plate. Harry was brought out of his thoughts when Danielle suddenly sat down beside him and took his hand.

Harry looked at her questioningly, and then realized that the hat had just placed her in Gryffindor. He smiled at her as Dumbledore finished explaining to the rest of the students that she was transferring here from a school in Canada and for everyone to show her the same courtesy as any other student, and then the feast appeared before them.

Harry stared down at his plate and shook his head to indicate that he wasn't hungry, when Danielle motioned if he wanted anything.

"You should eat something," she whispered. "People are staring at you."

"People always stare at me, you'll get used to it," Harry chuckled lightly. "I'll have something in the morning. I'm not hungry."

Danielle nodded and pulled some food towards herself, but only really picked at it through the meal, as Harry continued to stare down at his empty plate, which would remain empty through the entire feast.

Not even Hedwig made a move to grab any food as she stayed stoically on his shoulder, as if she knew Harry needed the comfort. No one around him asked why he wasn't eating or why his owl was with him, though quite a few tried to talk to Danielle, who only answered in brief one word sentences or not at all. Soon enough Dumbledore was giving his start of term notices and sending the students off to bed.

"I'm going to tell them," Harry decided quietly to Danielle. "I'll see you in the common room afterwards. Just follow the other Gryffindors."

"I can stay if you want," Danielle said, squeezing his hand.

Harry shook his head. "No, I need to do this on my own."

Danielle hugged him briefly and Harry took in a deep breath, and then stood up and walked towards the staff members who were leaving the hall themselves. "Professor Dumbledore, I need to speak with you, Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey," Harry said as firmly as his nerves would allow. "This – I don't want this to wait until morning."

Dumbledore looked at Harry with worry in his eyes and then nodded and led Harry and the two other confused staff members into the chamber off the Great Hall. Harry nodded at Danielle who'd hung back and then let Hedwig fly off to her, before he entered the room. As soon as the door was closed, Dumbledore spoke. "Harry is this about –"

"This has nothing to do with Voldemort or Sirius," Harry interrupted. "Please, this is hard enough for me to say, so just let me speak before you ask any questions." The other two were now looking at Harry with the same concern as Dumbledore. "And you may all want to sit down," he said quietly.

Dumbledore was the first to sit, followed by Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall. Harry took one of the four armchairs and sat down himself, but after a moment of sitting, Harry stood again, he couldn't sit for this. He paced for a moment more before he turned back to look at them, wishing he didn't have to do this alone, but he hadn't wanted to have to put Danielle through telling her again.

He took a deep breath and then began. "This summer, just after I got home from school I was unpacking my things and I collapsed. The first time I shook it off as nothing, but after the third, a few days later, my aunt brought me into the hospital as I had collapsed in front of her and she couldn't wake me. They ran some tests and diagnosed me with a Muggle illness called Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, a type of cancer." Madame Pomfrey gasp and put a hand over her mouth, but didn't interrupt Harry. The fear in her eyes showed that she already suspected what he was going to say. Harry continued. "I went to St. Mungo's and they recommended a pair of doctors who are specialists in Wizards getting Muggle illnesses, and I started chemotherapy and radiation treatments at the end of the first week. Three days ago, they re-diagnosed me to see if the treatments were working. They weren't, the cancer spread."

Harry took in another deep breath. "I'm dying," he said trying to keep his voice as calm as he could, it was the first time he'd said it out loud to anyone but Danielle.

Silence followed his statement. It seemed as if they were too shocked to do or say anything. After a moment, McGonagall spoke up. "Surely there are other treatments or more treatments…"

Harry shook his head, anger bubbling to the surface, he didn't mean to get angry, but couldn't they just accept his fate, so that he could? "Didn't you just hear me? I said I'm dying, there aren't any other treatments, and I'm not going to subject myself to more useless Chemo treatments that leave me too weak to live even the time I have left!"

"How long?" asked Dumbledore suddenly, before Harry could break down.

"They said I might make it to Christmas," Harry said quietly, after calming himself.

Dumbledore stared at Harry, his expression unreadable, but Harry suspected that he just didn't want Harry to see him upset as he seemed to be composing himself and didn't say anything further. McGonagall had tears in her eyes and wasn't looking at Harry anymore.

Madame Pomfrey seemed to be the first to compose herself, she as a Medi-Witch was trained to deal with these situations. She took a deep breath though and let it out heavily. "Your doctors gave you Muggle medicines, and more for the pain?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "The pains not too bad yet, mostly headaches and dizzy spells, but yes, and a nutritional supplement for when I can't eat; as well as medicines for my immune system and to keep my hemoglobin up." Harry took out the black case and opened it to reveal a line of syringes; all but two were empty, and several vials of a clear liquid. "They showed me how to inject it, and had me do it myself." Harry held up one of the full syringes, a small one that looked like the other empty syringes. "This one is for if I can't fill a syringe myself, and this one," Harry held up a slightly larger syringe. "This one is for emergencies, if my heart stops or I stop breathing. It has to be injected directly and it won't work if my heart stops for more than three minutes." Harry cringed as he replaced the syringe.

The three adults looked very pale as Harry calmly explained his Muggle medicines. "Surely there has to be some sort of Wizarding potions that don't have to be injected?" McGonagall asked Madame Pomfrey, looking with abhorrence at the needles.

The Medi-Witch shook her head and was about to answer when Harry answered for her. "No, anything magical that I could take would only speed the cancer up and there isn't a way to inject potions, and I guarantee that when I need to start using these, I won't be able to keep food down, let alone a potion. They did say that I'm allowed Dreamless Sleep for when I can't take the pain and my drugs don't work, but to use it sparingly, also I can have Pepper-up Potion in small doses and Strengthening Potion, but not after my immune system fully starts to fail. They also said to let you know, Madame Pomfrey, that under no circumstances am I allowed a fever reducer. If I develop a fever, it has to be brought down the Muggle way."

Madame Pomfrey nodded. "I'll remember that, and I'll research all the magical things that will react with the cancer so I know for myself."

"The doctors gave me a book to give to you, but it's in my trunk with the rest of my medications. I'll give it to you in the morning. Also there is something else." Harry slowly pulled off his cap. "The chemicals from the Chemotherapy made me go bald. They said my hair would probably grow back now that I'm not taking regular treatments, but until then I'm wearing my hat. I feel more comfortable with it and I know that there are some in this school who'll want to have me take it off in their class. I'm letting you know now that I'm not going to, so if there is a school rule or something, you should probably alert the professors ahead of time. And I'd appreciate no one knowing about this yet. I'm not ready for anyone else to know," Harry finished quietly.

Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment and then looked up at Harry. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this my boy, if there is anything you'd like from us, to tell your friends when you wish to perhaps…"

Harry nodded, but then shook his head. "When I'm ready, I'll tell them, thank you."

"If you'd like to talk about this, my door is always open," Dumbledore said lightly. Harry nodded.

"As is mine, Harry," McGonagall choked out, and wiped her tears from her eyes.

"Thank you," Harry whispered, fighting back his own tears. "I know it's still early, but if I'm –" Harry stopped and took in a deep breath and then looked back up to the professors. "If I'm still alive at Christmas, I'm going home and I don't think I'll be coming back."

--

_To be continued…_


	5. Back to the Routine

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Five – Back to the Routine

As Harry stepped into the Gryffindor common room, he hoped that his friends had already headed up to bed, but his hopes were trampled over when he saw that all of the Gryffindor DA members were still up and obviously waiting for him.

"Umm, wow, there are a lot of people still up," Harry commented more to himself as he pretended that this was an everyday occurrence and started to make his way to the stairs, but Ron, Hermione, and surprisingly Neville, blocked his way.

"Okay, what's up? We're not letting you go until you tell us what is going on," Ron said with his arms crossed over his chest.

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't want to do this yet. "Please move, I'm tired and want to go to sleep."

"No," Hermione said stubbornly. "We want to know why you didn't write anyone and why you sent our letters away. Why your aunt always said you weren't home when I called, when you obviously were. Even members of the DA wrote and you never responded to anyone, why?"

"Leave him alone," Danielle said, suddenly coming to stand in front of Harry with her wand in hand, like a bodyguard with.

Hermione glared at Danielle oddly and then looked back to wait for Harry to respond.

"I didn't want to deal with the Wizarding world, all right, Hermione. And like it or not you're all part of that package," Harry growled out. "Now, please move."

"If this is about Sirius, we understand –" Ron started.

"This has nothing to do with Sirius, Ron, I got him killed, and I'm over that! Please move," Harry said heatedly.

"Does this have to do with V-Voldemort?" Neville asked timidly and the others, except Danielle, gasped lightly, though Harry was sure it was more because Neville had said his name and not that it had been said.

"Against popular belief, Neville, my life does not revolve around Voldemort," Harry said wearily. "This has nothing to do with the Wizarding world. Please stop asking and let me pass."

"Harry, we just want to help you. Please just tell us what's going on," Hermione said quickly.

"He obviously doesn't want to tell you, so just leave it!" Danielle said fiercely.

"You don't have anything to do with this, so stay out of it," Ron said rudely.

"Leave her alone Ron, she's my friend," Harry growled and then sighed. "Look, I got some really bad news this summer, all right, and I'm just trying to deal with it. If I weren't Harry bloody Potter, no one would even bother asking, so please just pretend for once that I'm not famous and move out of my way!" Harry nearly shouted, tears coming to his eyes and then he unceremoniously pushed past a stunned Ron and marched up to their dorm.

Harry saw Hedwig sitting on his bed and he dropped down onto it and pulled his hangings around his bed closed. Hedwig rubbed her head up against his arm and he brushed his hand over her feathers.

The bed dipped slightly and then Danielle was rubbing his back soothingly.

"Danny, what am I going to do? How am I going to explain this to them?" sobbed Harry.

"I don't know, Harry," she whispered, and Harry could tell that she was crying herself, even though he didn't turn to look at her.

That night he cried himself to sleep, again.

--

Harry was more than relieved that he was having a good day when he woke up the next morning and didn't feel an ounce of weakness or the near constant feeling of being sick that had been with him most of the summer. Hedwig was nesting on the top of his pillow and opened one eye briefly as Harry pet her, before snuggling back into sleep.

Harry poked his head out and noticed that he must have overslept as the dorm was empty, he just hoped that morning classes hadn't started yet, of course it didn't help that he didn't know his schedule yet. Harry shrugged, got out of bed, and proceeded to take his time getting ready for the day.

He had just finished getting dressed and was pulling on his hat when the dorm door opened. Harry quickly fixed his hat into place before Ron came into the room. Ron stopped and stared at Harry, Harry stared back before he walked over and pulled out his book bag and placed his black case into it along with the book for Madame Pomfrey. He hesitated, looking briefly back at Ron before he pulled out a plastic container that had his pills for the day, already presorted with the time stamped on top of each divided section, telling him when to take them.

Ron saw and looked at it curiously, but seemed to hold himself back on commenting. "What's up with the hat?" Ron asked after a few moments. When Harry didn't answer him, Ron sighed. "Fine, whatever, mate. I just came to give you your schedule. You know Snape's going to make you take that off in first period, goes against the dress code and all."

"No, he won't," Harry said, and took his schedule that clearly showed Potions was first. He grumbled at that as he put his Potions book in his bag along with his Transfiguration book as he had that right after Double Potions and Lunch. He was much shocked that he had gotten into Potions at all, so apparently had Ron and he wondered if Danielle was also signed up for potions, he hoped so. Harry didn't know what Ron had gotten on his OWL, but he had actually surpassed his own expectations. It was the only owl, besides his school owl that he had let into his house to deliver mail.

Harry moved passed Ron with his bag slung over his shoulder. "Harry," Ron said as Harry opened the door. "I don't know what happened over summer, but I'm here if you want to talk."

Harry stopped and looked back at his friend. "I'm sorry about last night, Ron, but I don't want to talk about it. We should go. We don't want to be late for Snape's class." Ron nodded and then followed Harry down stairs.

They met Hermione in the common room and Harry stopped when he saw her, she looked like she had been crying. "I'm sorry about last night, Hermione," Harry said quietly as he looked at his feet.

Hermione stared at him for a moment before she walked up to him and gave him a brief hug. "You obviously don't want to talk about whatever it was that happened, and I understand. But know that I'm here if you want to talk, me and Ron both."

Harry nodded to her, giving her a brief smile. "Come on; don't want to be late for Potions do you?" he said before leaving through the portrait hole. Ron and Hermione looked at each other briefly before they followed. They were about half way to the dungeons when Harry stopped.

"I'll see you guys in class, I have to stop by the Hospital Wing real quick," Harry said, veering off toward the Hospital Wing briskly.

"But, Harry, you're going to be late," Hermione called after him.

"I know. I'll get a pass!" Harry called back and disappeared around the corner.

Ron turned to Hermione. "Why does he have to go to the Hospital Wing, I thought he hated going there?"

Hermione shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm worried about him," she said staring at where Harry had disappeared. She shook her head. "Come on, we don't have a pass, we can't be late."

--

Harry walked into the Hospital Wing and straight away saw Madame Pomfrey tending to a first year with a split lip. He immediately noted that he was a Slytherin. "Muggleborn," Harry asked quietly as Madame Pomfrey moved off to get something in her office.

The boy nodded. "He called me a Muddle-blood or something, figured it was an insult anyhow, and I hit him, he hit me back harder though," he said glancing over his shoulder to look at Harry.

"Mudblood, must have been Malfoy?" asked Harry, walking around the bed the kid was sitting on.

"Yeah, he's a git. What are you doing here anyway, you don't look hurt," he said.

"I brought something for Madame Pomfrey. I'm Harry by the way," Harry said as he pulled out the book he'd brought for the Medi-Witch.

"Jeremy Jamison," the kid said. "What's with the hat?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "Got no hair," he answered.

"Oh," Jeremy said and then turned back when Madame Pomfrey came out of her office.

"Oh, Harry, how are you?" Madame Pomfrey asked with concern. "I mean, you are feeling all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, actually having a good day. I just brought that book for you," he said uncomfortably and held out the book.

"Oh, yes, thank you," she said as she took the book and hugged it to her. "Is there anything else you need, dear, anything I can get you?"

"Umm, just a pass, I'm late for Potions," Harry said with a sheepish smile.

"Of course, wait right here," Madame Pomfrey said as she again disappeared into her office.

"Wow, she was nice to you, she scolded me when I walked in," Jeremy said.

Harry shrugged and then smirked. "Maybe because I don't look like I've been fighting," Harry chuckled when the boy laughed.

Madame Pomfrey came back out and handed Harry a slip of paper. "Here you go, dear, if Severus has a problem you just send him up here and I'll deal with him," she said smirking a bit.

Harry smiled and then laughed as he took the pass and saw what else was written on it. _Don't you even dare take points from him!_ He could only imagine Snape's reaction to that. "Okay, thank you," he said and then turned to leave, he turned back just before the door. "Hey Jeremy, if Malfoy gives you a hard time again, send him over to me. We're rather old rivals and I won't mind sticking up for you a bit."

Jeremy looked at Madame Pomfrey who glared lightly at Harry. "All right," he called back as Harry slipped out of the Hospital Wing.

"It's good to see that boy still smiling," Madame Pomfrey said quietly to herself before turning sternly back to Jeremy. "As for you…"

--

Harry walked calmly into Potions and handed Snape his note as the man said, "You are late, Mr. Potter." Snape looked over the pass with a frown and an eye roll, and then turned back to the class. "Fine, take your seat."

Harry sat down beside Danielle and in back of Ron who looked over his shoulder and gave him a questioning glance. "What did you need to go to the Hospital Wing for?" he asked, his voice barely even a whisper as he eyed Snape to make sure he hadn't noticed.

"Just dropped off a book for Madame Pomfrey," Harry whispered back.

"Oh," Ron said and then actually turned back to pay attention to what Snape was saying as Hermione looked between the two questioningly.

Forty minutes into class and Harry was more than relieved that Snape for the most part seemed to be ignoring him. Whatever Dumbledore had told his Potions professor seemed to make the man not as spiteful as he had been in previous years. Harry had seriously expected Snape to force him to remove his hat the moment he stepped into the classroom, but was very glad that he hadn't. This, however, didn't keep Malfoy from sniggering and making derogatory comments about his hat off and on throughout the class period. Harry though, was easily managing to ignore the blond prat and let Danielle do all the glaring at him as he tried not to laugh at the faces she was sending the Malfoy heir.

Because Snape was making a point to ignore him, and Danielle had proved to be absolutely amazing with potions, Harry's potion came out perfect for once, and Harry made it a point to place an unbreakable charm on his vial before handing it in. But Snape didn't sabotage his work, at least with him in the classroom. Harry wouldn't put it past the man to dump out his sample as soon as he was gone though.

He told Danielle as much on the way out and she giggled as she remembered the stories Harry had told her about the evil chemistry professor over the summer and put the two people together in her head. "You two really don't get along that much?"

"It's a lot worse than what you saw today. He's an evil git, really he is. Just wait a few class periods and you'll be saying the same thing, believe me," Ron grouched.

Harry only shrugged. He'd long ago gotten over the fact that the man hated him. At least after last year, he now understood why, not that he agreed with the reason. Harry was tempted to apologize for snooping in the man's memories though, but at the moment, couldn't bring himself to do so.

"I'm amazed," Ron said as they made their way up to the Great Hall for lunch. "Snape didn't take any points from you."

Harry shrugged again, though he was surprised about that himself. "Maybe he's been taken over by aliens," Harry said with a smirk and Ron snorted.

Hermione frowned disapprovingly. "Honestly," she muttered.

"I still don't understand this point system," Danielle spoke up. "Professor McGonagall didn't really get a chance to tell me about it before the sorting last night."

"I'll be glad to answer any questions you have about the school," Harry said. "Or if you're inclined to, I'm sure Hermione will lend you one of her numerous copies of Hogwarts a History," Harry said with smirk.

Hermione smacked Harry lightly on the arm. "I only have one copy for here, and one copy for home."

Harry and Ron both sniggered.

"So, Harry, you didn't tell us how you know the new girl."

"The new girl does have a name Ronald Weasley. See I know your name, you should know mine, it was said at the sorting last night, after all," Danielle said with a raise eyebrow.

"Sorry, wasn't really paying attention," Ron muttered.

Harry shook his head. "Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, this is Danielle Crawford, the new girl," he said with a chuckle as Danielle glared lightly at him. "We actually met this summer; however, neither of us knew the other was a Witch or Wizard until I found her on the train."

"You've been hanging out with her all summer?" Ron asked looking distinctly hurt.

"I already told you, I thought she was a Muggle and she thought I was one too," Harry tried to placate.

Ron frowned, but let it drop when Hermione glared at him.

The four made their way into the Great Hall, which was quickly filling up. "I'm impressed, Harry; you managed to make a decent potion in Professor Snape's class for once," Hermione commented, not unkindly. It was true, usually he was lousy at potions, but with Snape not hanging over his shoulder, making snide remarks, he was able to focus, and Danielle helped a lot too.

Harry shrugged. "I did some extra studying," Harry said, knowing it would make Hermione happy to hear that. He was right, she beamed at him.

"See, studying does help… Ron," she added after a moment's pause.

Harry laughed as he took a seat at the Gryffindor table and eagerly pulled food towards him. He was starving as he hadn't been hungry the night before, and had missed breakfast that morning. Danielle beamed at him when she saw him loading his plate.

"Oh, Hermione, don't badger Ron, he did after all manage to get into the Potions class." Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry's words.

"Not quite sure how that happened," Ron murmured.

"Harry!" Hermione suddenly exclaimed and Harry looked at her, panicked for a moment.

"What?"

"Your hand, what happened?" Hermione said as she pointed to the palm of Harry's left hand.

Harry looked at it for a moment, remembering the beginning of the summer. His hand was still quite scarred from having to heal the Muggle way. "I burned it on the stove at the beginning of the summer. It was a stupid accident really," Harry muttered with a shrug and Danielle leaned into his shoulder lightly.

"Why don't you have Madame Pomfrey fix it for you? I'm sure some of her scar remover will help with that," Ron suggested.

Harry shook his head. "No, I can't, besides it's not a big deal, it's just a scar," Harry said uncomfortably.

Hermione looked like she was going to question why he couldn't have Madame Pomfrey fix his hand, but Seamus Finnegan interrupted as he sat down beside Harry and introduced himself to Danielle on his other side.

"So, Harry, what's up with the hat anyways?" Seamus suddenly asked, pulling a large slice of chicken pie to him.

Harry shrugged; they'd all know eventually, he couldn't hide the fact that he didn't have any hair forever. "Don't have any hair," he said, not looking at any of his friends.

"Really?" asked Hermione. "How on earth did that happen?"

Harry shook his head. "Wasn't easy," he whispered and without finishing off his lunch, he got up from the table. "I'll see you all in Transfiguration," he said and then walked out of the Great Hall, Danielle watching him in concern as he left.

Neville leaned across the table as he watched Harry leave the Hall. "Did he just say that he didn't have any hair?" Ron, Seamus, and Hermione all nodded with perplexed looks on their faces.

--

Harry was the first to get to the Transfiguration classroom, and he sat down at the front and pulled out his book. He was glancing over this year's text when the door opened and he looked up to see Professor McGonagall, who stopped briefly as she saw him.

"Harry, how are you doing this afternoon?" McGonagall asked as she closed the door and walked to the front of the room.

"I'm fine; I'm having a good day, finally. And I actually brewed my potion correctly in Potions class. I'm sure I surprised Professor Snape."

"I'm sure you did," McGonagall said with a small smile. "You are really doing all right? I saw you at lunch with Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger. You left rather quickly."

"Yes, I'm doing all right. Seamus asked about my hat and when I told him about my hair, Hermione questioned me. I lied to them, I don't like lying to them, but I'm not ready for them to know," Harry said sadly.

Tears came to McGonagall's eyes. "I wish I could tell you things were going to get better," she whispered. "I'm here, if you want to talk," she said more loudly.

"Thank you, Professor," Harry said quietly.

The door suddenly opened and students started to file in. McGonagall moved to the front of the classroom, wiping her eyes as she did. Hermione sat down next to Harry this time and leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "What's wrong with Professor McGonagall?"

Harry shrugged. "Don't know," he said quietly back, getting out quill, ink, and parchment to copy what the professor had put on the board for notes, as Danielle leaned over the desk in back of him and squeezed his shoulder briefly. Ron and Hermione both looked at her oddly.

"Today, we will be discussing the theory behind the Animagus Transformation. Next term, Professor Snape will be covering the Potion, to this very difficult transformation, in his class, as a favor to me. Anyone who wishes to see if they have the capability will be allowed to, with supervision after they have successfully completed this potion. Can anyone tell me what the difference is between a Metamorphmagus and an Animagus?" Harry's hand shot up as did of course Hermione's, and several others. "Yes, Mr. Potter."

"A Metamorphmagus can change their appearance only, eye color, hair color, etc, and an Animagus can change their entire body into an animal. Not everyone can become either, but a Metamorphmagus is born with the capability and an Animagus has to learn it," Harry explained, but he wasn't very enthusiastic about it and his friends noticed and both glanced at each other.

"Yes, excellent, Mr. Potter. Ten points to Gryffindor. Mr. Potter is exactly correct…"

--

The rest of Harry's week went rather well, actually he was feeling really good all week and since the first day, hadn't even had any dizzy spells. It almost allowed Harry to believe that he was better, that he wasn't dying. But the sad glances he got from Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madame Pomfrey, as well as Danielle, when she didn't think he was looking, wouldn't let him entirely forget, not to mention the many different pills he had to take on a daily basis, which he was amazed he was able to hide from his friends.

The weekend was spent for the most part doing homework that had been set during the week. It was during one of these group homework sessions with Danielle, Ron, Hermione, and Neville that a group of Gryffindors came up to him. It was a small group, but they all looked somewhat apprehensive.

Seamus cleared his throat lightly. "Harry, I have been made the official spokes person," he stated first and Harry looked at him oddly. Ron, Hermione, and Neville looked on with clear amusement in their eyes. Seamus continued. "We, as in the members of Dumbledore's Army, are wondering if you are planning to continue with the DA. I – we know that we aren't officially meeting our new Defense Professor until this Tuesday, but even if he or she is good, I – we think that we should still have them, the meetings that is. You-Know-Who – V-Voldemort is back now and we believe that it is a good idea to know how to defend ourselves." Seamus fidgeted some as Harry continued to stare at him. "In case Death Eaters attack us or something…" Seamus trailed off.

Harry first snorted and then he chuckled and then he laughed. The others stared back at him as if he'd finally lost it, until he managed calmed down. "I'm sorry, really. I'm sure it took a long time to prepare that – that speech." Harry started to laugh again and the others chuckled a bit as well. Seamus rolled his eyes and glared at the others.

Finally, there was silence again and everyone looked to Harry for his answer, but when he didn't answer, Seamus prompted. "Well? Is the DA on?"

Harry thought about it for a moment, it wouldn't hurt for them to all be prepared, but he wasn't going to be the leader anymore. Though he felt great now, he knew that he wouldn't always and he couldn't be the leader of something that he wouldn't be able to put his full attention to in the future.

"You can hold the DA if you want, but I'm not going to be in charge of it anymore," Harry said firmly.

"What?" Hermione asked, "Why not?"

"For my own reasons, Hermione; I'm sorry, but I just can't do it," Harry said and then he picked up his books and left the common room.

Hermione looked after him. "Why does it seem like he's giving up on everything?" she asked more to herself.

"He hasn't dropped Quidditch yet," Ron said unhelpfully as he shrugged. "I think."

Danielle stared sadly at those around her and then with a near silent sigh, settled back into doing her homework.

--

_To be continued…_


	6. Quidditch

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Six – Quidditch

Monday morning, Harry was called to McGonagall's office. Harry knocked softly and then entered when McGonagall looked up. "Ah, there you are, Harry, take a seat, I have something to discuss with you."

Harry sat down. "Am I in trouble, Professor?" Harry asked, as he couldn't fathom why he was here.

"No, of course not, why, have you done something to be in trouble for?" the professor asked with a small smirk.

"Nope, not yet anyways," Harry chuckled softly.

McGonagall chucked as well. "No, the reason I called you here is to discuss Quidditch."

"Quidditch, but I thought I was banned for life?"

"No, that nonsense is all sorted out, Harry. No your team mates have elected you captain," she said with a smile.

"Captain, me, why?" asked Harry, clearly perplexed by this.

"Well I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that you've been on the team the longest, but no, Katie was actually elected, but turned it down as she has her NEWT's this year. So they chose you over her."

"But I can't be captain," Harry said sadly looking down at his hands. "I'm not going to be – I'm not going to be here all year," Harry sighed.

McGonagall got up and moved around her desk. She knelt down in front of Harry. "Do you want to be captain, Harry?" she asked, looking up into his eyes that were beginning to tear up.

"Yes," Harry said gruffly. "But –"

"Then you will be captain," McGonagall said firmly.

Harry blinked back his tears; he knew there would be no arguing with McGonagall. "Okay, Professor," Harry sighed. "But I think a co-captain is a good idea, for when I'm too sick and a reserve seeker for me."

"Of course, I'll let you choose your reserve and your co-captain," McGonagall said as she stood. She squeezed his shoulder briefly. "We all care about you very deeply, Harry, even Severus very deep down inside I think," she chuckled sadly. "If there is anything you need, you come to one of us, and we'll help you however we can."

"Thank you, Professor; your support is more than enough though," Harry said quietly and left the office.

--

A couple of hours later, Harry went back to McGonagall, dragging Ron with him. "Professor, I think Ron should be my co-captain, he knows everything there is to know about Quidditch and he's the best strategist I've ever seen, you just have to convince him," Harry said, pushing Ron down into the seat in front of McGonagall's desk and crossing his arms over his chest.

He'd spent the last hour trying to convince Ron to take the position, but the stubborn redhead wouldn't accept. He kept saying that Harry was more than qualified to lead the team and that he'd just get in the way. He was very close to just telling Ron why he needed him to be co-captain.

"Well, Mr. Weasley, exactly why can't you take the position?" McGonagall asked.

"Harry doesn't need me in the way, this is his position," Ron said stubbornly.

"All right, then I suppose that I'm going to have to find another captain," McGonagall said regretfully. "You see, Mr. Weasley, Harry here has refused the position unless he has a co-captain," McGonagall said, forcing down a smile as she saw Harry smirk at her Slytherin-like tactics.

"He's what? He didn't tell me that, you seriously won't be captain without a co-captain?" Ron asked looking up at Harry.

Harry nodded. "I don't want it if I have to do it alone. I'm a Seeker; I spend the entire game looking for a little gold ball. I can't be watching what's happening in a game and looking for the Snitch. I need someone else who can make the decisions for me in game. Plus I'm horrible at strategy."

"No you aren't, I mean you aren't hopeless," Ron said, a smile coming onto his face when Harry rolled his eyes. "All right, I'll be co-captain, but I'm not going to get in your way. If you make a decision, I'll back you, even if it's the wrong one."

Harry laughed. "Good, at least I know when we lose, it'll be my fault."

--

Harry scheduled to hold tryouts for the empty positions that weekend, as well for a full roster of reserve positions. He didn't want to do just the Seeker position as it would look awfully suspicious to his friends, so instead he told the team that it was a good idea, as most everyone on the team would be graduating within the next couple years anyways. The team agreed at that.

It was Tuesday morning and their first official Defense class of the year. Dumbledore had announced at the welcome feast that the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor would be arriving just in time for morning classes on this Tuesday. Even Harry was anxious to know who the new teacher would be, as the staff were keeping it a tightlipped secret, even from him.

Harry and all of the other sixth year Gryffindors took their seats. They'd all passed their Defense OWL with O's and E's and though Harry denied it, the others had said that it was because he had taught them what they needed to know. They were still trying to get him to take over the DA again.

"I can't believe the Professors wouldn't tell us who the Defense Professor is going to be. This waiting has been driving me mad," Hermione said as she took a seat next to Harry and pulled out parchment, ink, and quill.

Harry nodded in agreement as Danielle chuckled behind them next to Ron, who had stage whispered she was already mad. "I wonder who they got. There can't be that many left to choose from or the Ministry wouldn't have sent over Um-bitch last year," Harry said rather loudly.

"I'd reprimand you for calling her that, but I can't seem to find the energy," Hermione said with a small smirk.

Harry chuckled and then Hermione started to giggle as well. Ron and Neville were both laughing behind them and what Harry and Hermione had said quickly spread to the rest of the class, and peals of laughter washed over the class along with more derogatory remarks about their old Defense Professor, even most of the Slytherins were getting into it.

That is how Remus Lupin found his class, more than half of them holding their sides and laughing with tears in their eyes. Remus smiled. "Well, this is most certainly a great way to greet the Professor; I do hope you're all not laughing at me."

The class stopped laughing. "Remus!" exclaimed Harry. "I mean Professor Lupin!"

Remus chuckled. "Hello, Harry. Yes, I am your new, or old if you prefer, Defense Professor. What say you all, we get to work?"

Harry smiled as Remus moved to the front of the class and not one student grumbled about him, not even Malfoy surprisingly. Remus slowed for a moment as he walked by Harry and he looked down at him oddly, but then he continued onto the front of the class. Harry wondered if Remus could sense his illness. He hoped not, he wasn't ready to tell him.

Remus smiled at the class. "Okay, so I assume that most of you know the ropes of Defense Against the Dark Arts by now as you all successfully got an O or E on your OWL, even with your lack of great teachers. So I'm just going to jump right in. Dueling!" he exclaimed. "Who here would you all say is the best dueler?"

Without so much as a single thought, almost everyone, but the majority of the Slytherins pointed at Harry. Harry's face turned crimson. "Am not, I'm sure there's someone better than me," Harry said in embarrassment.

"Yeah, any number of us Slytherins could beat him in a duel," Malfoy sneered.

"Just what you said, Malfoy, any _number_ of you, could beat him," Ron said right back. "Not any _one _of you. And even then I bet he could take out the lot of you if he really wanted to."

"Ron," Harry growled under his breath, he really didn't need the Slytherins trying to prove themselves in the halls later.

"Well there seems to be a bit of indecisiveness, which is why we are going to be holding a dueling tournament over the next couple of weeks. At the end of the month, the two reigning champions will duel each other, and the winner will then have a chance to duel with one of the best duelers I have ever met. Severus Snape."

There was a shocked silence for a moment before Lavender Brown timidly raised her hand. "Professor," she said once Remus nodded at her. "I'm pretty sure that you just said that one of us will have the chance to duel with Professor Snape."

"That I did, Miss Brown. Professor Snape was the dueling champion here at Hogwarts when Dueling was still a sport. When I went to school here, Dueling and Quidditch were two of the most watched spectator sports. Unfortunately, Dueling in school was banned with the first rise of The Dark Lord; however, with the election of the new minister, it has been reinstated. As Professor Snape is currently the reigning champion, we only thought it fair that he had the opportunity to up hold his title," Remus explained.

"But," Malfoy said without so much as raising his hand. "Professor Snape has years of experience over us, there's no way any of us could actually beat him."

"I never said you had to win. Defeating your other classmates will give you the title of Dueling Champion. The duel with Professor Snape is just extra incentive to see if you can best him," Remus said. "And next time, please raise your hand, Mr. Malfoy."

That class they went over the rules of dueling and some of the history. The actual competition would be starting the next lesson. All years above fourth year were going to be participating and the reigning champions from each class would duel the next year above them and so on, until there was a final winner. It was all rather exciting, Harry thought.

After class had ended, Harry was packing up his things, chatting excitedly with Ron, Hermione, Danielle, and Neville about the Dueling Tournament, when Remus walked up to him. "Harry, may I speak with you please."

Harry hesitated. "I've got Charms in a few minutes, can this wait until later?"

"No I don't think it can," Remus said seriously.

Harry dropped his bag back down in his seat. "Danielle, can you tell Professor Flitwick I'm not going to be in class today," Harry said not looking at his friends.

"All right," Danielle said without so much as a protest.

"But why, I'm sure Professor Lupin isn't going to keep you that long," Hermione said, looking at Remus.

"I'm not going to be there, all right?" Harry said forcefully.

Hermione nodded, looking taken aback. "Okay," she said quietly and left with the others. Both Ron and Hermione looked back at Harry as they left though, and Danielle smiled sadly at him.

Harry waited until everyone had filed out and the door was shut behind them. "I'm dying," he whispered, not looking up at Remus.

Remus sat down in the nearest chair. He was silent for a long time before he spoke with a tight voice. "It was you I saw there then."

Harry turned to look at Remus. "Where did you see me?"

"Royal Marsden in London, I was visiting a friend and I saw you and Danielle Crawford leaving a treatment room. I didn't recognize you. But now I don't think I wanted to believe it was you," Remus said quietly. "Why didn't you tell anyone, why didn't you owl one of us, me?"

Harry sat down across from Remus. "At first I didn't want to deal with the Wizarding world for the summer, not after Sirius… and that included everyone in it. And then after treatments started, I was too sick. The chemotherapy in combination with the radiation treatments damn near killed me. Some days I couldn't even get out bed, I was too weak. I don't know what I would have done without Danielle and Aunt Petunia; they really stuck by me with this," Harry said reflectively. Harry breathed in deeply. "Three days before school started, they re-diagnosed me. They had hoped that they had caught the cancer in time, but the Chemo didn't work. The cancer had spread. They wanted me to try treatments again, but I refused. I can't go through that again." Harry swallowed back his tears. "Only Danielle, Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey, and McGonagall know. I'm really not ready to tell anyone else."

Remus took in a deep breath and put his head in his hands. "How long," he choked out, not looking at Harry.

"Christmas, I'm hoping to be able to go home for Christmas," Harry answered and wiped away a tear that had fallen down his cheek.

Remus stood up and then wrapped Harry in his arms. "Oh Cub," he whispered.

Harry choked back a sob. "God, Remus, I'm so scared, I don't want to die," Harry cried into the man's shoulder and broke down in sobs as Remus tightened his arms around him, his own tears running down his face.

--

Quidditch tryouts went over very well for the Gryffindor Quidditch team that weekend. Harry saw a very hopeful year for the Quidditch cup. He only wished he'd be able to see the team get the cup again this year. Another week had passed since Remus had found out Harry's ongoing secret and Harry was still having good days. He hadn't even had any dizzy spells, which he was very happy about.

Ron and Hermione had questioned him about what Remus had wanted, but Harry managed to brush aside their questions, and the two dropped it after a while. The DA on the other hand still hadn't given up on him resuming leadership, especially since he seemed to be finding himself at the top of the dueling competition alongside Hermione, Malfoy and surprisingly Neville. Neville and Hermione would be dueling the next class and then Malfoy would duel the winner, and as Harry had the most wins, he'd duel the winner of the three.

Although Harry would hate to see Hermione and Neville fall to Draco Malfoy, he hoped that they lost as he really didn't want to have to fight his friends; he'd already been forced to eliminate Ron. At least his friend didn't hold any hard feelings about him beating him. In fact, he laughed uproariously when he saw that his hair and robes were pinstriped blue at the finish of the match. They had both decided to use the most ridiculous hexes against each other.

Remus was a bit nervous to allow Harry to compete, but Harry assured that he was fine. He didn't know how long his health would last, but he intended to use the time he had to his fullest; especially if he ended up being bed ridden for the end of his life.

Harry, Danielle, Ron, Neville, and Hermione, nearly skidded into the Potions classroom. They had run to get there as both Ron and Harry had slept in and Hermione and Danielle had to drag both boys out of bed. They'd ended up running into Neville, who was picking up stuff from his fallen bag, and that had just delayed them further as they all stopped to help. Had Hermione and Danielle not woken them, they all would have been really late for class. As it was, they were only a little late.

Unfortunately, Snape was not in a good mood this morning, probably because Voldemort wasn't in a good mood. That morning in the papers it was announced that three Death Eaters, all in Voldemort's reformed inner circle, had been captured and sentenced to the Dementor's Kiss by the end of the week. The ministry had started to take a no excuse policy. If one was branded, it was an automatic minimum life sentence in Azkaban. Through research, it was discovered that one had to take the mark willingly, which ruled out the Imperious Curse that many had been using as an excuse.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor each, you are late. Now take your seats and, Potter, take that ridiculous hat off, I don't care what the Headmaster says," Snape snapped irritably.

Harry sat down next to Danielle. Ron gave him an astonished look when Harry clearly said, "No."

Snape turned around very quickly. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me, I said no, I will not remove my hat," Harry said back calmly, his hair had started to grow back some, but he was still uncomfortable without it.

"Ten points from Gryffindor. Potter, I'm warning you, remove your hat now, or it will be detention," Snape hissed.

"You can give me detention all you like, Professor, but I won't be there, and I'm not removing my hat. Dumbledore has already told you not to ask or demand it of me," Harry said back coldly.

"I'll solve this problem, Professor," Malfoy said, "_Accio Potter's hat_." Harry made a grab at it, but it was already off his head before Danielle managed to catch it and hand it back to him. "Merlin, Potter, what did you do with your hair?" Malfoy sniggered.

Harry pulled his hat back on. "None of your damn business, Malfoy," he growled, his face bright red, now that everyone was staring at him.

"Oh, I see, you stupidly charmed your hair all off and don't want anyone to see," Snape sneered snidely.

"No," Harry said angrily, picked up his bag, and left the potions classroom to everyone's surprise. Harry slammed the door shut, and leaning up against the opposite wall, breathed heavily and forced back his tears. Suddenly the door flew open and Snape stormed out, shutting it forcefully behind him.

"No one walks out of my class, Potter!" Snape seethed.

Harry turned away from the man, so he wouldn't see his tears and started to walk away, but his arm was grabbed and he was force to stop. "Let go of me," Harry said, not looking at his Professor.

"No, I don't really care what your problem is, you are going to go back into my classroom and sit down without the hat on. Or don't bother coming back to my class at all."

Harry retched his arm out of Snape's hand and started to walk away again, but stumbled as his vision faded white and then black and white again. As Snape was right there and closer than the wall, he was the thing Harry grabbed onto to steady himself until his vision cleared and the dizziness slipped away.

"Potter, are you all right, what's wrong with you?" Snape questioned.

It took a moment for the dizziness to leave him fully and then he immediately let go of Snape's arm. "Nothing, sorry, I'm fine," Harry said.

"No, you are not, tell me what's wrong with you," Snape demanded.

Harry looked at the closed door and then back at Snape and then sighed heavily, he knew Snape would never drop it and would find out one way or another. "I've got cancer," Harry said quietly.

Snape's jaw dropped open and he took a step back, his pale complexion paling further. "Is it, umm, terminal?" he asked after a moment, his voice insecure and so un-Snape like that it took Harry a moment to answer.

Harry nodded. "Yes," he answered shakily. "They've given me until Christmas, maybe."

Snape suddenly slumped against the wall, his eyes closed. After a moment he looked back up to Harry, shock and sadness in his eyes, and Harry wasn't sure, but he thought he saw sympathy as well. "I'm sorry, Potter," he said quietly. Harry nodded. "They've done everything?" Snape shook his head. "Of course they have," he answered his own question. "I've done some study on cancer in Wizards, if there's anything… if you need anything…"

"Thank you, Professor," Harry said quietly. "And I'm sorry, about looking in your pensive last year, I had no business being –" Harry began, feeling compelled to apologize to the man finally.

"Forget about it," Snape cut him off. "That's in the past." Harry nodded, looking at his feet. Snape straightened himself and took a heavy breath. "You are welcome back into my classroom, if you are up to it, and you can keep your hat on. I assume what Chemotherapy treatments you had, did that?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, thank you, Sir."

Snape nodded, looked at Harry sadly for a moment, and then moved off into his classroom. After a minute, Harry followed. Ron and Hermione looked at him as he retook his seat next to Danielle and she squeezed his arm lightly, giving him a questioning glance as she saw Snape glance at Harry, before he took in another deep breath and waved his wand at the board and instructions for brewing a potion appeared. Harry simply shook his head at her, and whispered that he'd tell her later.

"We will be brewing the base for the Wolfsbane Potion today; the information for this potion is on page 93 of your text. You won't be finishing the potion today, but it should be a bluish-green color by the end of class. Begin."

As Snape sat down at his desk, the class got to work, getting their supplies and starting their potions. About ten minutes later, Ron leaned over next to Harry. "What did you do to Snape? He looks like someone just died," he whispered.

Harry looked up at Snape briefly. The man was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He shook his head, looking back down to his potion. "Nothing," he whispered back.

About fifteen minutes from the end of class, Snape finally left his desk and started to wander around the room, commenting on the class' potions. As he stopped at Harry's desk, Harry was expecting something negative to come from Snape as his potion wasn't anywhere near the color it needed to be, even though he was pretty sure he'd been following the direction correctly. Ron's, in front of him, wasn't any better, but it was four shades of red brighter.

"That's good, Mr. Potter, just add the chopped Valerian Root and then the crushed Aconite, and this portion of your potion will be finished," Snape said without any kind of sarcasms in his voice and then moved onto Ron's. "Mr. Weasley, you clearly stirred counter clockwise when you should have stirred clockwise; please follow the directions more carefully in the future," he said in monotone.

Ron stared at Snape as he moved off and then looked back at Harry. "Are you sure you didn't do anything to Snape?" he whispered.

Harry didn't answer as he was staring at the potions master himself. Harry looked down with a sigh and then continued on with his potion. He added the ingredients one after the other and with a small puff of smoke the color changed to the bluish-green it needed to be. He smiled slightly when Malfoy glared at him, while Snape lectured him on adding the right ingredients instead of making up his own.

--

_To be continued…_


	7. Treatment and the Duel

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Seven – Treatment and the Duel

"You know, I really think something is wrong with Snape," Ron commented as they left Transfiguration. Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron had been saying the same thing at lunch. "No really, I've been thinking about this and his entire attitude adds up now." A cheeky smile came to his lips. "He's been pining after Harry all these years and that's why he's so mean to him and now he's finally realized that Harry doesn't love him back." Ron doubled over laughing at the glare and look of disgust Harry sent at Ron.

"Ron, you are going to make me lose my lunch, you do realize that," Harry said, shaking his head as Ron continued laughing.

"What does Professor Snape's attitude have to do with him liking or disliking Harry?" Danielle suddenly asked, obviously finding a flaw in Ron's disturbing logic.

"Well Mum is always telling Ginny that she can tell if a bloke likes her if he's mean to her. I figure Snape must be madly in love with Harry with the way he treats him," Ron explained.

"You're logic is very disturbing, you do realize that, don't you?" Hermione said dryly. Ron shrugged.

"I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life now," Harry said sardonically. "Thanks Ron."

"No problem, Harry," he laughed and pat his friend on the shoulder as they made their way into the Great Hall.

"Your potion was very well made, Harry," Danielle commented.

"You should be proud of yourself, Harry. The Wolfsbane is a very difficult potion. If you can do this part, you should be able to make the real thing," Hermione said as she took her seat at the Gryffindor table.

"I followed directions, Hermione, it wasn't a big accomplishment. I didn't even know it was correct until Snape told me," Harry said dryly as he also took his seat beside Danielle, with Ron and Hermione sitting across from them. "Now Gryffindor not losing points in Snape's class, that would be an accomplishment," Harry joked. Hermione rolled her eyes, but Ron agreed whole-heartedly.

Hedwig suddenly flew in and landed in front of Harry, stealing some food off Harry's plate and holding out her leg. "Hey, Hedwig," Harry said as he pet his owl and took the very obvious Muggle post letter from her. Harry shook his head with a small smile. He should remind his relatives that they didn't need to put stamps on the envelope when they send post with Hedwig.

Harry's friends looked at the letter curiously, as Harry slit the envelope open with his butter knife. Harry unfolded the typed parchment inside and then started reading. A frown formed on his lips the farther down he read. Harry lowered the letter and stared down at it for a moment.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Danielle asked when Harry continued to stare at the letter.

Harry suddenly got up, the letter clutched in his hand. "Excuse me," he whispered and then walked up to the Head Table and handed the letter to Dumbledore, who scanned over it. Harry looked at the man anxiously. Most of the sixth year Gryffindors were now staring up at Harry, his friends the most curious.

"Well," Harry said shakily.

"Pack some things, Harry, this is not an opportunity you should waist," Dumbledore said seriously as he handed the letter to McGonagall beside him. Tears came to McGonagall's eyes as she scanned down the letter. Harry nodded, he agreed, if there was even a chance of success… Harry turned and nearly ran out of the hall. His friends stared after him.

"I'm going with him," Remus stated, standing from his seat and following Harry out as soon as he had seen the letter.

"I'll get Poppy, she should go too," Snape said quietly and as well left.

By now there wasn't a single person not looking up at Dumbledore. The Headmaster stood. "Everything is all right. Please, go back to your meals," he said with authority and then too left.

Hermione turned to Ron. "What's going on?"

Ron shook his head. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out," he said as he stood and left the Hall, Hermione on his heels. Danielle slipped out as well, following the two.

--

Harry shakily threw a few things into his school bag. He hadn't expected something like this to happen. A chance for a cure was something he had thought was impossible. There was always a chance that his body would reject the treatment like it did the Chemotherapy, but his odds were far better for success. Of course, the risk of death was slightly higher if something went wrong, but he was dying anyways, so what the hell.

Harry closed his bag and stood in his dorm room for a moment, his hands still shaking slightly. He might not be coming back. He really should tell his friends…

A knock sounded on the door and Remus poked his head in. "Dumbledore's got a Portkey already for us, if you're ready to go."

Harry nodded. "I'm ready. Remus, could you do me a favor though." Remus nodded. "If I – if I die could you tell my friends?"

Remus swallowed and then nodded. "Of course, Harry. Do you want to see them before you leave?" Remus asked cautiously.

Harry shook his head. "No, if I see them I won't have the nerve to go through this, but Danielle, she needs to know what's happening. She's been there every day since I found out and I really need her to know."

Remus nodded solemnly. "All right, I'll tell her, but let's be off then. It's taken Severus glowering over Hermione and Ron to keep them away from the dorm." Harry smiled slightly at that and followed Remus out of the room.

--

Harry, Remus, and Madame Pomfrey met Harry's aunt and uncle at the hospital. Harry smiled slightly at his family. Aunt Petunia walked over and hugged Harry. "This is going to work, I just have this feeling," she said reassuringly.

At the beginning of the summer, they had found out that neither Dudley or Petunia were a donor match for the bone marrow Harry needed, finding a match now was the closest thing to a miracle Harry had, especially as he had no more living relatives and the list was very long.

Harry saw Dr. Gleihgan and Dr. Forge immediately upon entering the hospital. "Is this going to hurt?" he asked shakily, this was something he'd been thinking about since getting the letter. The two doctors looked at him with sympathy; they'd both seen how rough Chemo was for him.

"It is likely to be uncomfortable," Mark said as he nodded. At the beginning of all of this, Harry had asked him not to lie to him and he wasn't about to now, even with the fear that crossed Harry's face. Harry simply took a deep breath in and nodded.

"We might as well get started," Elaina said and Harry started to follow them, but looked back briefly at the others. "They're going to have to stay here, Harry," she said putting a hand on his arm.

Harry stared at the others for a long moment and then he squared his shoulders and walked away with the doctors. "He's such a brave boy," Vernon said as he watched the three go.

Petunia wiped a tear from her eyes and took a seat. Remus and Madame Pomfrey took seats as well. Vernon continued to stand. They all knew they had a long wait ahead of them.

--

"Eight hours and thirty-seven minutes," Vernon grumbled as he paced, looking at the clock again in the waiting room. He hadn't even thought of sitting down during that whole time.

Remus was fidgeting in his own chair. "What is taking so long," he whispered to Poppy. "Shouldn't we have heard something by now?"

Poppy shook her head. "I don't know Remus, from what I gathered, this procedure is very experimental at best. It's not only the marrow Harry needs, they have to kill the cancer in his cells first and there are numerous things that could go wrong with that alone, so they'll be taking it very slow."

"Everything will be all right," Petunia said. "Harry's a strong boy, he'll be just fine," Petunia's tone though suggested she was now just telling herself this. They'd never had to wait this long before, even with the chemotherapy treatments. She'd always been able to take him home within a couple hours.

Suddenly the waiting room doors opened and the group jumped up as they saw Dr. Gleihgan. He smiled at the worried group. "So far, the treatment is showing signs of success. The cancer's already dissipating and he's taken to the marrow better than we could have hoped."

Poppy and Petunia both let out a sudden cry of relief.

"Can we see him?" Remus asked.

"He's sleeping at the moment, you can see him when he awakes," Mark said reassuringly.

--

Harry awoke groggily and lightheaded to an annoying beeping noise and Mark standing next to him, frantically doing something to his arm. "Mark, what's going on?" Harry whispered.

"Everything's going to be all right, just do me a favor and don't move all right, Harry," Mark said as he put more pressure on the crook of his arm.

Harry's vision wavered as he looked down at his arm and saw that the sheets under it were covered in something red, as was the layers of bandage that Mark was pressing into his arm. Harry saw the IV that had been in his arm now lying on his soaked bed and his eyes traveled up the red tube to see that the bag of what was clear liquid was now full of red.

"Blood," he whispered as his eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out.

"Elaina, we have to give him a blood replenishing potion, the transfusion isn't going to work, he'll just bleed it back out again," Mark argued to the other doctor, who was readying a blood bag.

"But that will erase all the work we accomplished, Mark."

"I know, but if we don't, he'll die. His blood is far too thin and the blood replenishing potion will help thicken it." Mark said seriously. "He's going to reject the marrow, please get the potion."

Elaina hesitated for a moment before she went over to a cabinet that wasn't visible to the other Muggle doctors. She pulled out a vial and inserted a syringe into it. Mark had made the potion able to be injected, one of his many significant advances in the Magical and Muggle world. She handed him the syringe and took his place trying to stem the very watery blood coming from the boy's arm.

Mark injected the potion into Harry's other arm. The effects were almost instantaneous as the boy's arm started to clot and the blood flow lessened significantly. Mark breathed out heavily. "I don't know what went wrong; all the tests were showing positive reactions."

Elaina shook her head. "I don't know. Harry's blood has always been thin, the Chemo only made it worse. Maybe the radiation treatment was too much for him."

Mark shook his head warily.

Harry's eye fluttered open. "What's wrong with me?" he asked after a moment of looking at the two doctors.

"I'm sorry, Harry, we had to give you a blood replenishing potion," Mark said gently.

"But my cancer's going away, right? It was going away with the last test," Harry said shakily as he saw the sad look in Mark's eyes.

"We're going to run some tests, Harry; you just sit back and relax."

"Blood Replenishing Potion, that reacts with the cancer doesn't it?" Harry asked despondently.

Mark nodded. "I'm sorry, Harry."

--

Harry had been in the hospital for two weeks now and though he was getting stronger after the procedure, his cancer was as well. At this point, he wasn't sure whether it would have been better if the doctors had just let him bleed to death. He now had even less time than what they had originally told him. They'd told him, after he had demanded an answer, that he'd be lucky to even make it to December.

Harry was sitting in his hospital bed, staring at the white wall where his chart hung in a plastic tray. He'd read over it once a couple of days ago, but he barely understood the medical jargon. He had a decision to make. Did he go back to Hogwarts for his remaining time, or did he go home? He certainly didn't want to stay here, and he'd already missed a lot of school.

A knock came at his door and then Aunt Petunia stuck her head into the room. She smiled tightly at him. "Hello, Harry, can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in, Aunt Petunia," Harry said with a sigh, as he adjusted himself in his bed.

"Remus is back from the school. He says your friends are asking about you again, Danielle has been especially anxious," she said quietly as she sat down on the edge of his bed. "They sound like they're very worried about you." Petunia took in a deep breath. "Harry, I think you should be with them. You could be at home if you wish, but you'll likely spend most of your time doing nothing and I don't want that for you. You should be with your friends and having fun while you still can."

Harry smiled slightly and nodded. "And to think, just a few months ago, you didn't want me to go back to Hogwarts at all. I don't know what I'm going to tell them. I don't want to tell them I'm dying. I don't think I can take their reactions right now," Harry said heavily, clenching his teeth against his emotions.

"Then don't tell them yet, wait until you're ready. You've still got some time," Petunia advised sadly.

Harry took his aunt's hand. "I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I'm sorry I've been such a burden."

"Oh, Harry, you were never a burden, I was a selfish idiot. I was so angry at my sister for dying that I took it out on you and I'm sorry for that. Can you forgive me, Harry?" Petunia cried.

Harry pulled Petunia into his arms. "I already have," he whispered. Harry pulled away after a moment and wiped his eyes. Another knock came at his door and Remus stuck his head in. "Come in, Remus."

"How you doing, Harry?" he asked as he came into the room.

"I'm okay, and I've decided to go back to Hogwarts."

Petunia squeezed his hand and smiled at him sadly before she got up. "I'll get your things together. Mark said you could leave whenever you feel you're ready."

"Good, I hate being here," Harry said truthfully. "Too many damn needles," he chuckled.

--

"When do you suppose Harry will be back," Hermione asked Ron as they sat down to breakfast.

Ron shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know. I wish I knew what that letter said. He didn't even say goodbye to us and he looked really scared. I've never seen him look that scared before."

"What really has me worried is that the Professors are worried. Did you see the way Professor Lupin looked at breakfast the other day? And he's gone again. I don't think this has anything to do with Harry's family like Professor Dumbledore told us, I think there's something wrong with Harry," Hermione said pushing food around on her plate.

"But besides the first day he's looked fine. What could be wrong with him?" Ron asked.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know and that's what scares me."

Danielle looked over at the two sadly and then continued to push her own food around on her plate.

Suddenly there was a soft pop and Harry and Remus appeared up by the Head Table, to the shock of Professor Sprout, who squeaked in surprise as the both of them tumbled into her. "I hate bloody Portkeys," Harry grumbled as he unsteadily straightened himself out and then he froze as he noticed where they had landed.

"Oops, I seemed to have miss-calculated," Remus said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, I'd say so," Harry said dryly. "We were supposed to arrive in Dumbledore's office, not the Great Hall. Well at least I can get a decent breakfast," Harry mumbled and then hitching his bag on his shoulder, he walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down. "Hi," he said as Hermione and Ron were staring at him.

Danielle breathed a sigh of relief and hugged him. "Welcome back," she whispered.

"You're back," Hermione said needlessly.

"Yep, could you pass over the bacon, Ron?" Ron handed him the bacon platter, staring at him intently as he did. "Do I have something on my face, Ron?" Harry asked.

"No, you look fine," Ron said as he turned away.

"You've been gone a long time and no one would say where you went, they just said that you had to go home. Is everything all right? Are you all right? You didn't say goodbye to us or anything," Hermione said fretfully.

"Everything's fine, Hermione; I just had to take care of a few things and now I'm back," Harry said as he started to eat his breakfast. "What class do we have this morning? I don't even know what day it is," Harry chuckled.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Danielle said, looking at her friend worriedly. "You're still the reigning champion; you and Malfoy actually. We finished the other challenges while you were gone."

"Malfoy was starting to say that you should forfeit because you weren't here, but now you can put that prat into his place today," Ron announced.

Harry blinked at Ron. "Today?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah in a few minutes actually. It should be easy, Malfoy's so arrogant he thinks he's going to win, but we all know you're better than him."

"Harry, are you all right?" Hermione asked, when Harry continued to stare at Ron.

Harry shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine, just didn't think I'd have to duel right when I got back. But no, that's fine, I'm sure I'll kick his ass," Harry murmured to himself and then he got up from the table. "I've got to get ready for class. I'll see you guys there," Harry said.

He quickly walked out of the Great Hall and headed up toward Gryffindor tower. Halfway there he ran into the very person he was going to be dueling with shortly. He was picking on a familiar Slytherin first year, but he turned when he saw Harry.

"Potter, finally back from your little vacation," Malfoy sneered.

"I'd hardly call it a vacation, Malfoy, but yes I'm back. All right there, Jeremy?" he asked, looking at the first year.

"I'm fine. Malfoy was just giving me a hard time, thanks though," Jeremy said, his cheeks glowing in embarrassed.

"Isn't it enough that you have to pick on the rest of the school, Malfoy, but one of your own…" Harry shook his head. "I didn't think you could sink so low."

"It's none of your business, Potter," Malfoy sneered.

"I'll make a deal with you, Malfoy," Harry suggested. "If I beat you today, you have to stop picking on people just because of their blood and what house they're in."

"What's the point, Potter, I'm going to win, and we both know it. Besides if I win what do I get out of the deal?"

"If you win, I'll throw the first Gryffindor – Slytherin Quidditch match," Harry said seriously. "Do we have a deal?"

Malfoy hesitated. "If I have to stop bullying people, lets up the stakes on your part a bit. You have to throw all the Slytherin – Gryffindor Quidditch matches."

Harry held out his hand. "You've got a deal; I won't even try to look for the Snitch."

Malfoy smirked and shook Harry's hand and then stocked off. He turned back just before turning the corner. "If you forfeit this duel, Potter, the Mudbloods will see no mercy!" he sneered and then disappeared.

Jeremy looked at Harry in shock. "I can't believe you just did that. What if you lose?"

Harry shrugged. "What he doesn't know is that I won't be playing those matches anyways," Harry said sadly and started to walk off.

"You're dying of cancer aren't you?" Jeremy suddenly asked.

Harry stopped suddenly and looked back. "How did you know?"

"My older brother died of cancer. He lost his hair to Chemo as well. He always looked fine on his good days too," Jeremy said sadly. "You were in hospital the last weeks weren't you?"

Harry nodded. "They thought they had found a cure, but it didn't work, my body wasn't strong enough to let it work. I decided that I'd rather be here for what time I have left."

"You should tell your friends before they find out from someone else. You're not going to be able to hide this forever. There are going to be other people like me who know about cancer and how it works, and they're going to put the pieces together like I did. You're friend, Hermione; I'm surprised she hasn't figured it out yet," Jeremy said kindly and then walked away, leaving Harry to stare after him.

The kid was right, but he didn't have time right now to dwell on it. He needed to get changed and then to Defense. He was determined to beat Malfoy.

--

The excitement in the Defense class for the upcoming duel was amusing to Harry. He wasn't sure whether the excitement was because they finally got to see who the best duelist was, or because the duel was going to be between two long time rivals. He had a feeling it was the second though. This was the duel that people had longed to see and he wasn't surprised that bets were exchanging hands as he sank into his seat next to Hermione.

"Is it true?" Ron asked, looking really pale, and slight panic that his friend had found out about the cancer nearly washed over Harry, before Ron continued. "Did you make a deal with Malfoy?"

Harry sighed and then cringed a bit. "It's only for the Gryffindor – Slytherin matches."

"You did!" Ron exclaimed. "What if you lose, that could cost us the cup!"

"Remember what you said about decisions and even if they're wrong ones?" Harry said lightly.

"Not when it comes to throwing Quidditch matches that could cost us the cup!" Ron nearly shouted.

"I only said I would throw the matches, not the rest of you. The team could still win even if he catches the snitch," Harry said reassuringly.

Ron simply banged his head down on his desk. "You better win!" he growled. Harry chuckled and patted his friend on the back consolingly.

Remus came into the classroom then and the class settled down. "A word, Harry," Remus said and pulled Harry out into the hall before he could protest and closed the door behind them. "I'm canceling the dueling competition."

"You can't, I just made a deal with Malfoy. If you cancel the duel, he'll think I put you up to it and will come down even more on the Muggleborns. Not to mention it will make me look like a coward!" Harry argued.

"Harry, I'm well aware of your deal, but you've just spent over a week in a hospital bed. You almost died. I can't in good conscious let you compete," Remus said seriously.

"I'm fine. I haven't had a bad day in three days. I feel fine, really," Harry insisted. "I haven't even had any dizzy spells. Please, just let me compete. If I win, I won't duel Snape if that makes you happy. But I have to do this duel!" Harry said anxiously.

"You seriously feel all right?" Remus asked. Harry nodded and Remus took in a deep breath and then let it out. "All right, but just this one," he said heavily.

Harry smiled. "Thank you, Remus," Harry said, and then walked back into the classroom. Remus followed a moment after, looking at Harry worriedly.

"All right everyone, you know the drill; to the Great Hall," Remus said and then left the classroom and the students to follow after him.

Harry looked at Danielle in confusion. "Why are we going to the Great Hall?" he asked.

"So the school can watch. Oh, that's right; you haven't been in a champion match yet!" Danielle exclaimed. "They're being held in the Great Hall because most of the last few were against other years and not just other houses."

"Oh," Harry said eloquently. "S-so I take it the seventh year champion didn't best Malfoy," Harry said distractedly.

Danielle looked at Harry in sympathy. "No, and it was a rather incredibly swift defeat too. If you didn't win more duels and have a faster dueling time, you wouldn't even still be in the running for this."

Harry nodded. Great, it looked like he was actually going up against someone who could really duel. Harry rolled his eyes mentally, of course, Malfoy could duel; his father was a bloody Death Eater after all, Lucius had probably taught him everything he knew. Harry dragged his feet as he followed Hermione, Ron, and Danielle to the Great Hall.

When Harry got to the Hall, he didn't expect that everyone in the bloody school was going to be in attendance. Harry looked around. Didn't anyone have classes? "Oh, the teachers are here too," he muttered to himself. "Just great," he whispered and Danielle gave him another sympathetic glance. Had Harry known this was what was awaiting him, he may have copped out of this duel, but one look at Malfoy's arrogant face erased that thought.

Harry squared his shoulders as he glared at Malfoy. He took off both his hat and his glasses and handed them to Danielle before he cast a quick charm on his eyes. The charm would only last for an hour, but he didn't think that he'd need it longer than that. He'd learned with his previous duels how distracting it was to have objects that could get away from you during a duel. Malfoy could very easily think of summoning his glasses off.

The crowd clapped for him as he approached the dueling platform that had been erected since breakfast. Harry noted that Madame Pomfrey looked at him with disapproval and both Dumbledore and McGonagall gave him a worried glance. Harry also saw that Snape was off to the side of the other Professors and had his arms crossed over his chest with an unreadable expression on his face.

Remus cleared his throat and looked between Harry and Malfoy. "You know the rules. First one to be disarmed and incapacitated wins and of course, no Unforgivables," Remus said as he gave a pointed look at Malfoy who sneered back. Remus backed away. "When you're ready gentlemen, start your pacing."

Harry stared at Malfoy for a moment. He had no idea if he was ready for this, he'd not even performed any magic in the last couple weeks. He didn't know if he'd even be able to win, but he had to try. He turned on his heel and started his ten paces. Malfoy did the same.

As Harry counted his paces, he felt a rather odd feeling, like pressure building in his chest. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was strange and the feeling seemed to flow to both of his arms and down to his fingertips. Harry pushed the feeling aside as he counted ten and spun around, his wand steadily raised at the ready.

"On the count of three, gentlemen," Remus announced, backing further out of the way. "One, two…"

Harry was more than ready when Malfoy jumped the mark, he was so predictable. Harry sidestepped the _Expelliarmus_, fluidly. Malfoy swiftly followed up with a _Stupefy_, that Harry quickly erected a Shielding Charm to block.

Harry dropped his shield and flicked his wand. "_Incarcerous_," he muttered. Malfoy cast a Reflection spell and Harry was forced to sidestep his own curse. "_Confundo_," Harry whispered in hopes of catching Malfoy of guard, but the blond simply side stepped the spell.

Malfoy smirked at him and thenHarry was rather shocked as his wand was summoned from his hand. Malfoy hadn't even said the summoning charm. Without even thinking, Harry lifted his hand and his wand stopped in between them in midair and then flew back into Harry's hand. It was only a small bit of wandless magic, that he'd been able to do once before, but the ease in which he was able to do it, surprised him.

Malfoy's mouth dropped as Harry looked interestingly at his wand and then raised it, before Draco could get over his own shock. "_Stupefy_! _Accio wand_!" Malfoy was down, stunned and his wand was in Harry's left hand before the crowed even knew what happened. "Wow," he said. "That was rather quicker than I though it would be," he chuckled and then walked over to his nemesis. "_Enervate_," he said with a small flick of his wand.

Malfoy's eyes sprung open and then narrowed at Harry who held out his wand to him, or rather pointed it at the blond boy. "We have a deal, are you going to honor it?" Harry asked seriously.

"Malfoy's keep their word, Potter," Malfoy sneered and Harry handed him his wand.

"Good."

--

_To be continued…_


	8. Finding Out

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Eight – Finding Out

Harry was beginning to think that he was on a good streak with his health as it was now going on two weeks since his last dizzy spell and he hadn't felt sick at all. He was beginning to believe that the Chemo was going to be the worst of his illness and he'd completely pushed to the back of his mind that he was in fact dying.

It was lunchtime on a Thursday, just after Charms where Seamus had charmed Ron to squeak like a mouse for most of the class. It had been rather amusing and the conversation of that had led to what he was currently laughing at. Seamus was telling a joke, one that Hermione clearly didn't approve of by the scowl on her face. The slight wave of heat that washed over him barely registered in his mind, as he pulled a pastry tray to him.

"WE could be talking about more interesting things," Hermione grouched. "Like the fact that Malfoy is actually keeping his part of the deal with Harry."

"He wouldn't dare go against our dueling champion," Dean boasted "It's just too bad Snape hasn't issued a challenge to you yet, Harry."

Harry shrugged. "Don't really fancy going against him anyways," he muttered. The others, of course, didn't know that Remus had forbid him from dueling Snape. It was too bad, Harry kind of wanted to see how good the man really was.

"Maybe he's afraid to face you, Mate," Ron chuckled.

"I doubt that, Ron," Harry said, rolling his eyes and then closed them briefly as another wave of heat washed over him, leaving him slightly shaky.

"You all right, Harry," Danielle asked quietly.

Harry forced a smile. "Yeah," he muttered and then reached for a pastry.

"Hey, Mate, can you pass me one too?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded and was about to grab another when he suddenly coughed and then coughed again; he quickly covered his mouth with his sleeve as the hard coughs he couldn't stop, continued for nearly half a minute and people started looking over in alarm. When he finally could stop, he kept his hand at his mouth, because he knew his sleeve was covered in blood as he could taste it in his throat when he swallowed.

"Harry?" Danielle ask with concern, as Harry stood, careful not to let anyone see the blood.

"I'm fine –" Harry rasped as he swayed and before he knew it, crashed to the ground.

"Harry!" Ron, Hermione, and Danielle all yelled as they jumped up to help their friend.

Harry's hand fell from his mouth as he grabbed his head with the other as his head started pounding and he curled up into a ball on the floor, with a groan.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Hermione when she saw the blood and then Ron and Hermione were shoved aside by Snape and Madame Pomfrey.

"Harry," Madame Pomfrey said softly as she knelt down beside him. "What can I do for you?"

Harry breathed in deeply as the pain finally subsided. He opened his eyes and looked up to the concerned ones of the Medi-Witch. "Nothing," he whispered. "I'll be fine."

"Is this the first time you've coughed up blood?" Snape asked calmly, though he looking alarmed.

Harry nodded, "Since summer, yes."

"Let's get you up, Harry, I want you in the Hospital Wing so I can check you over," Madame Pomfrey said kindly, but sternly. There wasn't going to be any arguing with her. Harry nodded and slowly pushed himself to his feet. He swayed again, but Snape steadied him.

"I'm okay, thank you, Professor," Harry said shakily and then walked with the two out of the Great Hall.

The hall was silent for all of a half a second after Harry left, before talk erupted. Hermione was very pale as she looked wildly around the hall for a moment and then her eyes landed on Dumbledore who was just sitting back down and looking rather pale himself. She marched right up to the Head Table.

"I demand to know what's wrong with Harry!" Hermione's voice didn't waver as she spoke fiercely.

Dumbledore looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. It is up to Harry to tell you."

Hermione glared at Dumbledore and then marched out of the Great Hall; Ron not too far off her heels. Danielle sat back down at the table with a heavy sigh. Hermione and Ron nearly ran to the Hospital Wing, but they didn't enter as they heard all they needed to know right through the door.

Harry practically shouted it. "What does it matter, Snape, I'm dying!"

Harry was more than annoyed when the Potions professor had mentioned Voldemort. No one had as of yet, but Snape just had to bring up the fact that he had just coughed up blood and collapsed in the Great Hall in front of a bunch of Death Eaters' kids. He'd until then managed to push Voldemort out of his mind completely.

"I'm just saying that if you are going to continue to keep this secret, you have to come up with an excuse, Potter. The Dark Lord is going to expect me to tell him about this event, and 'I don't know' isn't going to go over well with him."

Harry pulled off his hat and put his head in his hands, he had a slight fever, and the hat was too much right now. "Well what do you suggest, Professor, because I can't come up with a damn thing?"

Snape sighed and ran a hand over his face. "You're an avid Quidditch player; I'll say you broke a rib during Quidditch practice when he asks." Snape was silent for a moment after that. "You know that excuse won't work with your friends though. Perhaps it's time you told them," he said with surprising gentleness.

Harry sighed. "I can't, I can't do that to them right now."

Madame Pomfrey walked over and handed him a glass of cold water and a couple of Muggle fever reducers, which he swallowed without complaint. "This isn't going to go away," she said softly. "It's only going to get worse, do you want them to find out when you no longer have the strength to get out of bed, or when someone else has to tell them for you?"

A tear slid down Harry's cheek and he shook his head. "No, you're right, I should tell them sooner rather than later…"

"It's true then," Hermione suddenly said, as she and Ron walked into the Hospital Wing. "You're –" She couldn't finish as she choked on a sob. Ron just stared at Harry, his face pale and blank.

Harry looked up at his two best friends. "How long have you been standing there?" he asked quietly. Neither answered and Harry took in a deep breath. "I have cancer," Harry said. "I'm dying."

Ron shook his head. "No, you're a wizard, wizards don't get cancer! You don't have cancer!"

"Ron, I wish I –"

"NO!" Ron shouted and then he ran out of the Hospital Wing.

Hermione looked after Ron and then looked back at Harry. "How – how long?" she asked, her voice was barely above a whisper.

Harry got up and walked over to Hermione. "December, maybe," he said softly, trying to hold back his tears.

Hermione nodded and then she fell into Harry's arms, sobbing. Harry held his friend for a long while, until she stopped crying and Madam Pomfrey gave her a Calming Draught and led her over to one of the beds. He then left to find Ron, leaving Hermione with Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape.

It took Harry two hours to find Ron. He was out on the Quidditch Pitch and as it was down pouring, Harry hadn't thought to look there, even with his map. Harry watched from the shelter of the stands as Ron flew around the pitch, he'd been watching for a good half an hour now, and Ron was just now slowing his pace. It took a while, but eventually he made his way to the ground and Harry stepped out into the rain, a repelling charm his only resistance from the weather.

Ron looked up when he saw Harry walking towards him; Harry stopped a couple of feet away. The two stared at each other for a long moment before Ron spoke. "You're sure," he said with a tight voice.

Though Harry couldn't see because of the rain that was drenching Ron, he knew his friend was crying. Harry nodded. "Yes, I spent all summer getting treatments; it's why I didn't write anyone, most of the time I was too sick to get out of bed. The doctors had thought that we'd caught it in time, but a couple days before school, we found out that the Chemo didn't have any effect. I refused to go through more treatments until a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately that didn't work either," Harry said heavily.

"How long do you have?" Ron asked shakily.

Harry was almost used to answering this question, but he couldn't hold back his own tears as he answered. "If I'm really lucky, I'll make it to Christmas."

Ron dropped his broom on the waterlogged ground and walked forward and hugged Harry tightly. "Then I'm with you for however long you have left."

--

Now that Hermione and Ron knew about his illness, every time he even coughed, they looked at him with concern. Harry started to notice, that not only Hermione, but also Ron, had started to spend a lot of time in the library. He suspected that they were researching everything they could on the illness that was killing him, but they tried to make it look like they were doing extra studying; they'd even dragged Danielle into their research.

Harry didn't interfere and let them look even though he knew that they weren't going to; magically or non-magically, find a miracle cure for him. Even after his collapse in the Great Hall, his secret was still a secret, at least for the majority of the school. The rest of the staff had finally been told; Hagrid had taken it the hardest and hadn't been out to teach his class since, and now had a substitute again. Harry had heard whispers, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before more figured out Harry's secret. Voldemort would be delighted, Harry was sure.

Harry was now starting to have some bad days. It wasn't anything drastic like coughing up blood again, but he did have quite a few dizzy-spells and he was grateful for his friends support. Ron wanted to tell the rest of his family, but Harry was reluctant. And Hermione thought Harry should let at least the DA know. But Harry really didn't want anyone else to know, and Danielle was the only one who really respected that decision. He didn't want the pity and deep down, Harry thought that the more people who knew, then the more he'd have to accept that what was happening to him was real.

And then the day came where he started to have to use his non-oral medications. He hadn't told Ron and Hermione about them yet and so he started to use them in the mornings before breakfast and everyone was up. No one had caught him yet.

Harry was just putting his black case away when Ron came running down the stairs and then stopped when he saw Harry, and let out a breath of relief. "I heard you coughing this morning and then you didn't come back to the dorm. I thought –"

"I'm fine, Ron," Harry reassured. "I was just doing some extra studying for Herbology. You know, we have a test today."

Ron's eyes widened. "Oh, Sweet Merlin, your right we do, I completely forgot!" Ron put his head in his hand, pretending to sob. "I'm so going to fail!" he wailed.

That was how Hermione and Danielle found them. "Ron forgot to study again, didn't he?" Hermione asked with a small smile.

Harry laughed and nodded. "At least we don't have Herbology until after lunch and I'm sure Neville will help you cram," Harry said as he pat Ron on the shoulder consolingly.

Ron's head shot up. "Neville, of course!" he exclaimed as if he'd had an epiphany. "He can help me study! I'm so glad I thought of that!" he remarked as he made his way out of the portrait hole.

"Excuse me! I think I was the one that came up with that rather brilliant idea!" Harry exclaimed running after Ron.

Neville came down the stairs then and looked at Hermione and Danielle who were laughing. "I'm not helping him study," he said dryly as he passed them. Hermione laughed even harder and followed.

--

All in all, the Herbology exam went great for Harry, Danielle, Hermione, and Neville, but Ron was currently hitting himself, even with Neville's last minute help, he'd done terrible. The four of them were currently making their way back inside after Care of Magical Creatures, Ron still mumbling under his breath about remembering to study, and Hermione and Neville agreeing with him, not making him feel any better.

They'd just entered back into the school when Harry suddenly felt a sharp pain in his head and he gasped, before he doubled over and then dropped to his knees. His friends stopped in their tracks. Harry clenched his teeth and grabbed his head as pain pulsed from his scar. Finally, the pain subsided about as quickly as it had come and he looked up to see Danielle, Ron and Hermione looking at him with fear in their eyes.

"I'm fine," Harry said, looking at the three. "But bloody hell, Voldemort must be pissed or something," Harry grouched as he rubbed his hand over his scar, which hadn't hurt since the last year.

"You're scar?" Neville asked.

Harry nodded and pushed himself to his feet, still rubbing his scar. "I wonder what's got Voldemort so upset," Harry said lightly.

Ron and Hermione actually sagged as they finally realized that it was just Harry's scar, and then the two realized that it was just Harry's scar! "Did you see anything?" the two asked rather quickly at the same time as Danielle looked away from the group uncomfortably.

Harry shook his head. "No, just the pain, I didn't even feel his emotions. I think the Occlumency I practiced over summer is actually working. This is the first time I've felt pain in my scar since last year."

"You should still tell Professor Dumbledore. Voldemort over emotional is never a good sign," Hermione commented.

Harry nodded; it was probably a good idea, after all, it was the first time anything Voldemort related had come up this year, at least in relation to Harry. "You guys go on; I'll go see Dumbledore now, that way I don't have to wait until after dinner."

"Are you sure, Harry, one or all of us can go with you," Ron said, concern in his eyes.

"I'll be fine, Ron. I'm only going to see Dumbledore." Ron looked at Harry for a moment and then nodded.

"All right, we'll see you at dinner then," Ron said reluctantly. Hermione looked just as reluctant when they all split up and Harry headed toward Dumbledore's office and the others went towards Gryffindor tower.

"Is there something wrong with Harry?" Harry heard Neville ask as he rounded the corner. He didn't stop to hear his friends' responses; he knew they'd keep his secret.

A little while later, Harry stopped abruptly as he reached the stone gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office. He had no clue what the password was. "Sherbet lemon, umm, caramel corn, err. Blood pops… gingersnaps?"

"Try Tongue Ton Taffy," Snape said dryly from behind Harry.

Harry spun around as the gargoyle moved aside. "Hello, Professor. I assume you're here to see Professor Dumbledore as well?"

"Indeed, is there something I can help you with, the Headmaster is a rather busy man as of late," Snape said without any malice in his voice. Harry almost missed Snape's usual sneer towards him. It was too bad that it took the man finding out that he was dying for him to finally be civil with him.

"Actually, it's a Dark Lord issue," Harry purposefully didn't call Voldemort by his name as he knew how much Snape hated it. "I think he's angry about something. My scar burned on my way up from Herbology."

"Did you see anything?" Snape asked without so much as batting an eye.

Harry shook his head. "I've been practicing Occlumency all summer, it helped during Chemo treatments. I guess its keeping him out of my mind, I didn't even feel an emotion, I just assume he is angry because of the amount of pain that came through my scar," Harry explained.

Snape blinked at that. "You've been practicing Occlumency? Well it certainly seems as if it's being used successfully. Though, if you'd like I can test you sometime."

"Umm, sure, I guess, but I should really tell Professor Dumbledore about this," Harry said and then started up the stairs, Snape following him.

"I agree," he said quietly from behind Harry.

--

_To be continued…_


	9. A Really Bad Day

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Nine – A Really Bad Day

Hands shaking slightly, Harry pulled out his black case from his bag and clicked it open. The syringe glimmered in the fire light as he picked it up and placed a fresh needle at the top. He pushed the syringe into a small glass bottle and extracted the liquid within and then he tapped the needle as he was shown, to release the air bubbles. He took an unsteady breath in and then inserted the needle into the crook of his left arm, where the vein was already prepared. He hissed at the pain of the medication being pushed through his veins. He'd been doing this everyday for a month now, but it never got any easier.

A noise from the darkened girl's stairwell alerted him that he wasn't going to be alone much longer. He quickly cleaned up. He took the soiled needle off and placed it in the side compartment with the others he had to dispose of and placed the syringe back in the case and clicked it closed. He'd just hid the black case and rolled down his sleeve when the first of the early risers entered into the common room, Ginny being among them.

"Hey, Harry," Ginny called to him as he stood up. He wobbled slightly, but caught himself. "You all right there, Harry?" Ginny asked with concern in her voice.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, just lost my balance, guess I'm not quite awake yet," he laughed, though it was forced. He was feeling terrible today, why of all the days, did he have to have a bad day today? They had their first Quidditch match in two hours and he wasn't so certain he was going to be able to fly. And he was the bloody captain!

"Well wake up soon, we need our captain!" Ginny said cheerfully. "Walk with me down to breakfast? Hermione and Danielle said not to wait and knowing Ron, he'll be down last minute."

Harry nodded. "Sure." Maybe some food would help him. But if he didn't feel better by the game, he was scratching himself. He'd have to fake an injury, but it was better than falling off his broom. He was just glad he'd assigned reserve players.

Twenty minutes after they had sat down to breakfast, Hermione, Danielle and a half-asleep Ron, sat down next to him and Ginny. "All right for the match, Harry?" asked Ron around a yawn.

Harry hesitated, but then nodded. "Yeah," he said, mostly to convince himself. He hadn't touched his food as the smell was making him nauseous. He'd had many days lately where food just didn't appeal to him. "I'm going down to the pitch early," Harry announced tightly and got up. He had to steady himself on the table, but he made it look like he was just being lazy, though Hermione and Danielle both narrowed their eyes at him worriedly.

"I'll go with you," Danielle said, but Harry pushed her back down.

"Eat, I'll see you at the game," Harry practically ordered.

"But, Harry, you haven't eaten," Ginny said, looking up to him.

"I'm not hungry; I'll see you guys at the game." That said Harry quickly made his way out of the Great Hall and to the nearest bathroom.

An hour later and Harry was still sitting on the bathroom floor, sweat was pouring off his skin, but he was freezing and he'd only just stopped retching. The game would be starting soon and he was sure his teammates were looking for him, but he hadn't the strength to stand, let along walk to the Quidditch Pitch. He hated to admit it, but he was in really bad shape today.

He'd always thought that Voldemort would be the one to kill him, but it was becoming more and more obvious that he'd never meet the Dark Lord for a final time, and he was angry about that, among other things in his miserable excuse for a life.

Harry shivered and curled his legs up against him and put his head on his knees. He felt so tired and he just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't stop shivering and his skin hurt, not to mention that he was in a bloody bathroom, not the best place for sleeping.

Harry thought about his friends as he closed his eyes and his breath came out as a light rasp. They were probably wondering where he was right now. They'd become so over protective of him lately. They'd even started lying for him to everyone else, even when they thought he should tell everyone. There had been many times in the last two months that he had wanted to tell someone, to stop lying about why he was tired, why he wasn't hungry, why he always got up before everyone else in the dorm, why he never slept. But his courage failed him time and time again, and he continued the lies.

Harry looked at his watch. It hadn't been long enough to again take his medication, but Harry felt that it was necessary, just this once. Call him stubborn, but he had to be at that game, maybe not to play, but to show the school that he was fine. It wouldn't do to have anyone run to Voldemort with his condition.

Harry pulled out his black case and pulled out one of the premade injections for the first time. After he inserted the drug, he rested for a while longer and then pushed himself to his feet with effort. He was going to be all right, it was just a really bad day, and it would pass.

Harry leaned against the wall for a few minutes after he left the bathroom and then forced himself down the hallway. He got about twenty feet before his legs gave way and he collapsed onto the corridor floor. He bit back a sob of frustration at the weakness that was constantly tugging at him as he breathed heavily.

"Potter!" a voice shouted down the hall before the person moved towards him.

Harry rubbed his hand over his face, just great, of all the people who would find him like this, why Draco Malfoy? "I'm fine, Malfoy, leave me alone," he rasped out.

"Merlin, Potter, you are not fine! What the hell's wrong with you?" Draco asked as he moved to help Harry stand.

Harry shook Malfoy off and pushed himself up. "Nothing's wrong with me," he forced out, surprised at Draco's sudden concern. "I'm fine."

"Like Hell! Fine is you out on the Pitch playing Quidditch, not having half the school looking for you so we can start the game," Draco said as he stood over him.

Harry growled lightly, of course they'd be looking for him. "I said I'm fine," he said forcefully, even as he leaned against the wall.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted, shortly followed by Ron and Danielle as the three ran down the hall.

"Get away from him!" Ron said, pointing his wand at Draco, who immediately backed off. "What did you do to him?"

"I did nothing, Weasley, I found him like this," Draco sneered.

"Ron, get Madame Pomfrey," Danielle said shakily as Harry stumbled and slid back down the wall.

Ron and Hermione looked down at Danielle, now kneeling on the floor next to Harry, and then to their friend, who was ashen in color and shaking severely. Ron raced down the hall towards the Hospital Wing not a moment later.

Draco watched him go. "What the hell's wrong with him?"

"Danny," Harry gasped out. "I-I can't breathe."

Danielle pulled Harry to her as Hermione knelt down on Harry's other side. "Hold on, Harry, Ron's gone to get Madame Pomfrey," she said shakily. "You'll be all right."

Harry looked up to Danielle and Hermione as he tried to take in a deeper breath that didn't seem to want to come. He smiled slightly at his two friends. "No I'm not. I'm going to miss you," he whispered before his vision went black and he fell limp in Danielle's arms.

"Harry! Harry, no, come on wake up please!" Hermione cried, tears streaming down her face.

Snape suddenly pushed a shocked Draco aside and dropped down beside Hermione. Hermione looked up to him. "Professor, he's barely breathing."

"Move," Snape commanded and laid Harry on his back on the floor and bunched his own cloak up under Harry's head as Hermione and Danielle moved aside. "Where's his bag? The case?" Snape snapped urgently after taking Harry's pulse.

Hermione shook her head, not knowing what the Professor was talking about. "Is this it?" Malfoy asked as he pulled a black case out of Harry's book bag.

Snape nodded and took it. He opened it, noted the used syringe that hadn't been put away properly and swore when he looked at his watch. At that moment Madame Pomfrey, Professor Dumbledore, and a whole crowd of staff members and students came around the corner.

"What's happened?" Madame Pomfrey took command immediately.

"He's overdosed," Snape said seriously.

Madame Pomfrey closed her eyes briefly; she figured it was bound to happen sooner or later as he steadily got worse. "Let's move him to the Hospital Wing, unfortunately the only thing we can do is wait, and pray he comes around," she said solemnly.

--

The whole school searching for Harry was a bit of an exaggeration on Malfoy's part. Only the teachers, the Quidditch players, and Hermione and Danielle had gone to look for Harry, the rest of the student population was restlessly waiting for the match to start.

None of them expected to see a solemn Professor Snape walk out onto the Quidditch Pitch and order them all to the Great Hall. Dumbledore, after some careful consideration decided that it was best that the students be told especially as it was looking more and more as time progressed that Harry wasn't going to wake up.

He stood as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders before the population of Hogwarts. All eyes were on him as he had their full attention. He took a deep breath and looking every bit his age, began. "I have some grave news. I'm sure many of you have by now noticed that Harry Potter is not among us."

Hermione clasped tightly to Ron's arm as tears fell down her face, Ron too was fighting back his own tears. They both wanted to be with Harry in the Hospital Wing, but McGonagall had made everyone go to the Great Hall, especially Danielle, Ron and Hermione, she didn't want them to have to see their best friend die in front of them. McGonagall was currently sitting with the three at the Gryffindor table. She too had tears in her eyes.

"This summer, Harry was diagnosed with a Muggle illness called cancer. It is rare for a Wizard to get this illness and this type of cancer is very aggressive among the Muggle cancers. I'm sad to say that Harry has slipped into a coma and is not likely to live through the night." A tear slid down Dumbledore's cheek as everyone stared horrified at him. "We must have hope and pray that he keeps holding on."

Crickets could be heard, the hall was that silent, but Hermione's sobs rang out over everyone and this alone had the situation sinking in for the students of Hogwarts. Dumbledore sat back down heavily as Snape dismissed the students with a stern warning to stay away from the Hospital Wing. But no one moved and Snape sat back down not inclined to go either.

That night, the Great Hall turned into one large dorm as the students of Hogwarts, Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Slytherins alike all kept a silent vigil of faith that Harry Potter would pull through the night. Not a single staff member could get them to go back to their own dorms and so under the starry sky of the enchanted ceiling, rows upon rows of sleeping bags lay, but not a single student was asleep, not even Draco Malfoy who was amazingly more upset then anyone thought he should be.

The Professor's patrolled the rows of sleeping bags amazed at the show of unity for a boy who was both loved and hated through his years at Hogwarts by many of them. But what really amazed them was that not one of the students there were here because of Harry Potter the Boy-Who-Lived, but because of simply Harry the boy who was fighting for his life in another part of the castle.

--

Morning came and with the sun came Madame Pomfrey, who like everyone else had been awake all night. Her tired eyes widened when she took in all of the students and Professors, all still awake and now at the house tables eating a very early breakfast. She'd come for some food and tea as not a single House Elf had answered her call. She hadn't expected to see all of them there as she was usually one of the only ones who came for breakfast this early in the morning.

All eyes seemed to turn to her as she made her way up to the staff table. Dumbledore stood, obviously awaiting news on her patient. But before she could open her mouth, Harry came into the hall and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Did some one change the clocks on us?" he asked, rather baffled to find a full Great Hall.

Danielle, Hermione, and Ron were out of their seats in a flash and had their arms wrapped around their friend in a tight embrace. "You're all right," Hermione sobbed into his shoulder and Harry hugged her back.

"I'm all right," he repeated with a smile, but it was a lie. He was dying more quickly than they all thought, he may look fine now, but he'd be lucky to make it to the end of November at this point.

--

Harry stopped going to classes almost a week after his overdose incident. He simply didn't have the energy and as much as he'd rather be with his friends, he knew he couldn't make it through a class period. That didn't mean that he stayed in bed though. Most of his time was spent huddled in a blanket sitting in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, but every once in a while, when he had the energy, like today, he ventured over to the lake.

It was cold out, but seeing as he could never seem to stay warm anymore anyways, it didn't much bother Harry. Harry was bundled in his winter cloak and jumper as he sat at the edge of the lake just staring out over it. He sat there for so long alone with not even the sounds of the giant squid, that he was startled when Hagrid suddenly stopped beside him.

Harry smiled up at the half giant, who he hadn't seen in weeks. "Hey, Hagrid."

"It's awfully cold out here, why don't yeh come on inside and get warmed up," Hagrid said and started to wander back towards his cabin.

Harry stood up and brushed himself off before he followed. The small house was quite warm and Harry shrugged of his cloak and took one of the large seats by the fire. "It's been a long time Hagrid," Harry said.

It really had been. No one had seen the half giant since he'd found out about Harry. Many had speculated that he'd drowned himself in whisky. But that obviously wasn't true as he was quite sober, though Harry had himself questioning that thought at Hagrid's next words.

Hagrid nodded and looked at Harry steadily. "What would yeh say if I found a cure fer yeh?"

Harry took in a deep breath. "Hagrid, there isn't one," Harry said sadly.

"There is," Hagrid said, still staring at Harry intently.

Harry stared back incredulously. "You're serious? What is it?" At that, Hagrid seemed to hesitate. "Hagrid, I'd do just about anything to live, please tell me!" Harry exclaimed, getting excited by the possibility of a cure.

Hagrid sat down across from Harry. "It's dark magic, very powerful dark magic. There's only one man who'd be able to use it successfully," Hagrid said seriously. Harry's eyes widened in horror as Hagrid pulled back the sleeve on his left arm to expose the Dark Mark. "The Dark Lord is willin' to make a deal. A cure fer yeh and all yeh have to do is join him willingly. And when yeh're strong enough yeh can kill him and we'll be free!"

Harry jumped up and backed away from the half giant. "Hagrid, the Dark Mark doesn't go away! They're throwing people into Azkaban without trials if you're caught with the mark! How could you join him?"

"I did this fer yeh, Harry, so yeh can live, yeh don't deserve to die when there's a cure fer yeh!"

"Hagrid how could you even think… He killed my parents!" Harry yelled and then ran from the hut and all the way back up to the school.

He was breathing heavily by the time he got there and slid to the floor as tears fell down his cheeks. Hagrid had joined Voldemort! How could he do such a thing? And now he had no choice but to turn him in. How could he do this to him?

Harry didn't notice that classes had gotten out for lunch until McGonagall and Hermione were kneeling down next to him with Ron and Danielle hovering behind them. "Harry, are you all right?" McGonagall asked worriedly.

Harry shook his head. "No! Hagrid…" Harry took a deep breath in when Hagrid entered into the hall with Harry's cloak. He stared at him over McGonagall's shoulder and swallowed thickly. "Hagrid, he's joined Voldemort!" he spit out angrily, before Hagrid had a chance to stop him.

McGonagall gasped and looked behind her at the half giant who stared solemnly back at Harry. She looked back at Harry, even as she took out her wand. "You are certain?" she asked seriously.

"He told me, showed me the Dark Mark," Harry whispered and pushed himself to his feet as he continued to glare at the man who had introduced him to the Wizarding World when he was eleven.

Hermione and Ron were just as shocked as McGonagall, but they too drew their wands as McGonagall pointed hers at Hagrid. "I think you better come with me, Hagrid. Mr. Weasley come with me, Miss Granger, Miss Crawford take Harry to the Hospital Wing before he collapses."

The two nodded and did as they were told. Harry continued to glare at Hagrid as he was directed towards the Headmaster's office. "How could he do this to me, Hermione, to all of us?" Harry asked as Hermione and Danielle helped him towards the Hospital Wing.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. Are you sure that was really Hagrid and not someone under Polyjuice."

Harry nodded. "It was him, it was really, Hagrid. Voldemort offered a cure for me if I joined him, and Hagrid really thought I'd take it. I'd rather die than join my parent's murderer!" Danielle flinched horribly at that, but neither Harry nor Hermione noticed.

--

_To be continued…_


	10. Dying

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

--

Chapter Ten – Dying

By dinnertime that day, Ministry Aurors had come to take Hagrid away and the whole school knew about the Dark Lord's offer and they also knew that Harry would never take Voldemort's cure. Everyone was just as shocked as Harry was that Hagrid had joined Voldemort. Harry knew that the half giant would do just about anything for him, but he'd never thought he'd side with the Dark Lord, even to save Harry's life.

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table a few days later, he'd made an effort to come down for at least dinner, though he didn't touch his food, didn't even bother to fill his plate; he just wasn't hungry. His friends looked at him worriedly through Dumbledore's announcement about the rescheduling of the Gryffindor – Slytherin Quidditch match, which Harry for the most part blocked out. He wasn't looking so good, actually worse if you factored in other bad days. He was extremely pale and shaky and had what seemed to be permanent dark smudges under his eyes.

His friends had been keeping up a pretty good front around him. Smiling and joking with him, including him in things like what the latest homework assignment was doing to all of their social lives. Little things, anything they thought that would help keep Harry upbeat. But Harry was slipping, he almost felt like he was fading away. And for the first time since he'd been diagnosed, he could actually feel that he was dying.

After the announcement, everyone went back to eating, excluding Harry, who sat in silence, not looking at anyone around him.

"I'm so looking forward to Gryffindor kicking Slytherin's butt on Saturday," Ron said around a mouth full of food.

Hermione kicked the redhead under the table, causing him to yelp and choke slightly on his food. "Don't speak with your mouth full!" Hermione hissed. "In fact don't speak," she said when Ron opened his full mouth to retaliate.

Harry suddenly let out a bark of laughter at the scowl on Ron's red face. The others looked at him, startled by the full-blown laugh, which continued even as he got stares from all over that hall. Hermione started to chuckle and then she too was laughing, Ron following suite not long after.

--

The match was supposed to start ten minutes ago, but the Gryffindors were stalling while Ron and Ginny looked for their again missing captain. The crowds were getting restless with the wait as the two siblings finally climbed into the teachers' box.

The Professors looked over at the two-team members as they entered. "Professor Dumbledore," Ron said a bit breathlessly. "We can't find Harry anywhere. He's not even on the map."

Dumbledore stood up. "You're sure?"

Ron nodded and handed Dumbledore Harry's Marauder's map. Dumbledore scanned over it for a moment and then looked up as Dobby abruptly popped into the teacher's box.

"Headmaster Dumbledore sir, it's Harry Potter sir, he doesn't wake up! Dobby's tried, but he won't wake!" Dobby cried fretfully, ringing his ears.

"Where is he Dobby?" Dumbledore asked urgently.

"Dobby found him in a bathroom on the first floor, please come quickly, Headmaster Dumbledore sir!"

"Dobby go tell Madame Pomfrey to meet us there," Dumbledore commanded.

"Right away sir!" said the elf as he popped out and the professors followed Dumbledore immediately, all with panic-stricken looks on their faces. Ron looked at Ginny and then followed. Ginny followed as well, with a scared look on her face.

Harry had passed out, blood running from the corner of his mouth, by the time Snape, who had been the quickest, rushed into the bathroom. "Potter!" he shouted as he landed on his knees beside the boy. "_Enervate_!"

Harry's eyes fluttered open. "Professor," Harry choked before he fell unconscious again.

Snape quickly picked Harry up and rushed out of the bathroom. The other professors gasped as he raced passed them toward the hospital wing and all quickly followed. "Poppy!" Snape yelled as he placed Harry on the nearest of the beds. "_Enervate_!" he said again.

Harry coughed, blood coming out of his mouth as he was forced back into consciousness. "Professor," he gasped again, trying to take in a shallow breath, but it wouldn't come and he lost his battle to breathe and slipped into unconsciousness again.

Snape stared at the boy fearfully. "_Enervate_!" he yelled again, but this time Harry didn't wake up. He felt at the boy's neck and then his wrist. "Damn it," he whispered. "Come on, Harry," he said tying to find a pulse, just one beat. There, it was faint, but weakening and the boy's lips were turning blue.

Not knowing what else to do, he did as instructed earlier when he had been let in on what Harry had in his black case. He pulled the case out of Harry's pocket and clicked it open and found two ready syringes and two empty. He picked up the larger one and banished Harry's shirt. Pulling the sterile cap off, he tapped at the syringe and let the excess air out and easily finding the vane in Harry's arm, he injected the liquid into it.

Madame Pomfrey stood by with the other professor's and Ron and Ginny just gaping in fear and horror at the Potions professor as he pulled the needle back out slowly and used a piece of summoned gauze to stanch any blood.

Snape and the others didn't have to wait long to know if the medication in the now empty syringe worked, as Harry's eyes fluttered half open and he took in a raspy gasp of breath and started to cough and then groaned quietly before he relaxed and his eyes slid closed again.

The Professors all let out a breath of relief as Harry started to breath in a normal rhythm, as whatever was in the syringe made him fall asleep after straightening his heart. "That was close," Snape whispered and then sunk down onto the floor, his head in his hands.

Ginny turned to her brother with tears in her eyes. "He's really going to die, isn't he, Ron?"

Ron pulled his sister into his arms. "Yeah," he whispered shakily.

--

Harry woke up with a soreness in his chest. He couldn't remember what had happened. The last thing he remembered was talking to Ron in the Great Hall. Harry went to move his hand, but found that someone was holding it. He weakly looked over and saw Hermione sitting with a book in one hand and with red-rimmed eyes. She'd obviously been crying. She was the one holding his hand.

"Hermione," Harry whispered.

Hermione dropped her book at hearing her name and looked over at Harry with a relieved sigh. "Harry, you're awake," she said with a quiet, but strained voice.

"What happened?" Harry asked weakly. "What am I doing in the Hospital Wing?"

"Y-you stop breathing," Hermione answered squeezing his hand with hers.

Harry nodded and closed his eyes. "I'm tired," he whispered.

"I know, Harry," Hermione whispered as she laid her cheek on his hand.

Harry opened his eyes again. "You think I'll see my mum and dad?" he rasped out after a long while. "And Sirius, I want to see Sirius, I miss him."

Hermione couldn't answer as her throat was too blocked from trying to keep back her tears. She only nodded.

"Good," Harry whispered before he closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

--

Harry woke up again some time in the middle of the night. He felt horribly weak and he knew he should still be asleep, he was so tired, but something had woken him. At first, he thought he was alone in the Hospital Wing, but then movement out of the corner of his eye drew his gaze to Danielle who was just taking off Harry's invisibility cloak.

"Danny? What're you doing here?" he asked sluggishly.

Danielle sat down on his bed and took his hand. "I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispered. "I wanted to tell you. So many times, I wanted to tell you."

Harry looked in confusion at her. She had tears streaming down her face. Why was she crying? "What's wrong?"

"I thought you'd take Hagrid's offer. Why couldn't you have taken Hagrid's offer?" Danielle sobbed.

"What," Harry whispered in confusion.

"I won't let you die too. He could have saved dad, but dad refused. You've become too important to me. I won't let you make the same mistake."

"Danny…" Harry gasped, becoming alarmed.

"I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispered again and then placed something in Harry's hand.

Harry's eyes widened when he felt the Portkey take him, and then after a wild swirl of colors he was lying on the cold black marble floor of a large candle lit hall. Danielle was still holding his hand and he jerked it out of her grasp and struggled to move away from her feebly.

"Welcome, Harry Potter."

Harry stilled instantly at those words and slowly looked up into the face of the Dark Lord. He wasn't the same in appearance as he'd been the last time the two had met, but it was definitely him. His more human appearance could not hide the darkness that seemed to permeate the very air around him.

"No…" He shook his head in denial. He hoped he was dreaming, but he knew he was not.

"You've done well, Granddaughter," Voldemort praised calmly and Danielle looked away in shame, as Harry stared at her with betrayal written across his face.

"G-granddaughter?" Harry whispered, barely able to even get the word across his lips. "No."

"I wanted to tell you. I never wanted to hurt you, Harry, please understand –" Danielle tried to explain, tears falling down her face as she reaching for Harry, but Harry, with what little strength he had, pulled himself further away from her.

"That will be enough, Daniella. Leave us," Voldemort ordered.

Danielle pulled her hand back and stood to her feet. "I hope you can forgive me," she whispered, and without looking at Voldemort, left the hall. Harry stared after her with anger in his tired eyes as his breath came quicker.

"Do not blame her, Potter." Harry lifted his eyes to glare at the Dark Lord. He would have spit into his enemies face, had he the strength to do so, but he was barely holding himself up as it was. "She's simply a pawn; she didn't even know who you were before she came here. Her father kept his family quite sheltered."

Harry gritted his teeth as pain swept over him suddenly, leaving him breathless and feeling even weaker than he had previously been.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Voldemort said casually. "Dying," he clarified. "And of course, it will only get worse before it's over," he whispered and then knelt down beside Harry. "I can save you, take away the weakness, take away the pain," he hissed enticingly.

"Why, s-so you can kill me when I'm stronger," Harry spit out, struggling to move again.

Harry suddenly flinched away, as Voldemort reached out to touch his sweat-dampened cheek. He pulled his hand back. "I've never had any intention of killing you, Harry." Harry stared hard at him, not believing that for a second. "Oh, when you were a baby, yes, and when you dueled me in the graveyard, I admit, I was angry at my own shame in being foiled by an infant. But then I realized how similar we are, the two of us. I thought perhaps if you could see into my mind, if you could truly understand what I want for the Wizarding World, that you'd join me, share in my vision even, but you kept blocking my attempts to show you. So I took desperate measures, luring you to the Ministry so I could confront you face to face. Imagine my shock when I possessed you in the Ministry, and found out you were dying of the same Muggle illness that killed my worthless Squib of a son."

"You knew, all this time. Danny knew," Harry hissed shakily, his breath still coming in quick gasps.

"As I said, Daniella knew nothing. She knew who I was, of course, but she did not know of my history, or the connection between us. Her mother is a Muggle and only found out about her husband's true past when he was diagnosed. She didn't even know her own daughter was attending a Wizarding school."

"So you what, used her fears against her, threatened her mother and made her join you!" Harry snarled, breathlessly

"Join me?" Voldemort laughed harshly. "I made her do nothing. She was there when I offered her father a cure. You see, I would have given him anything, even if he was worthless to my cause, he was still my son. She was grateful to me, even after my son stupidly refused and died, leaving his family behind to grieve for him."

"If she understood what you are –" Harry began.

"Oh, she understands. Admittedly, it wasn't until after she did a small amount of research in the Hogwarts Library that she realized who I am, who you are. It's the oddest thing, but somehow, she _loves_ me despite everything I've done; trusts me even. She saw you fading away, and even knowing the two of us are enemies, she _begged_ me to save you. She said she'd do anything. That she loved you, and couldn't lose you too." Voldemort smiled repulsively. "Isn't that just sweet? I was reluctant to use her, however. I thought you'd see right through her. So I enlisted the help of the oaf Hagrid. I thought by the time he gave his offer, you would be willing to do anything to live. I overestimated your will to survive. So when she came to me again, I gave her a Portkey, which she was all too willing to use."

Harry glared at him, clenching his teeth through another wave of pain, which caused him involuntarily to curl in upon himself. After the pain left him, he was no longer able to even hold his head up and he laid his cheek on the cold stone floor, shivering, as the cold seeped into his skin. He was really dying this time, he could feel it, but somehow he couldn't find a reason to hold on any longer, and he wished the Dark Lord would simply get it over with and kill him.

He barely noticed as he voiced his thoughts. "Kill me," he rasped out resignedly. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep, but the shivers racing through his body kept him holding onto consciousness.

"Now, there's no need to think like that, Potter. Not yet." Harry didn't have the energy to glare at Voldemort this time. "Join me, Harry, and I will take away the pain, I will give you your life back."

"No," Harry whispered with conviction.

"Think of those that love you, how they will feel when you're gone. How will Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley feel when they bury you? How will your family feel? What about Daniella, how much will she suffer losing another person she _loves_?"

"Why should I care?" Harry rasped. "I'm going to be dead."

"What about your parents, Potter? How will your lovely mother greet you when she finds out you gave up. What about your father, will he still want a son who couldn't even avenge his death?" Voldemort said harshly and Harry summoned the strength to glare up at him again.

"I said no," Harry spit out angrily.

Voldemort gave a long-suffering sigh. "Well I suppose I don't have to get your undying oath of fidelity to do this. After all, just think how much fun it'll be torturing you into submission." He stood fluidly and Harry again struggled to move as the Dark Lord pointed his wand at him. "Just remember when you're wreathing under my Cruciatus Curse Potter, I gave you a choice."

Harry barely had time to gasp before a beam of light smacked into his chest, and he arched off the ground, screaming as the spell washed through every cell in his body, cleansing him of the cancer that was destroying his blood.

When the spell was finally lifted, Harry had one perfect moment of serenity, a moment of finally feeling free, before he lay limply, and then darkness engulfed him, a darkness that was worse than any unconscious state he'd ever experience.

--

_To be continued…_


	11. A Battle of Wills

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

_(Just to clear up, it wasn't the Cruciatus Curse Voldemort used on him to cure him. Though, that would be amusing and ironic.)_

--

Chapter Eleven – A Battle of Wills

When Harry awoke again, he wasn't in the coldness of the hall he last remembered, and the crisp feeling of the sheets had him breathing a slight sigh of relief, before he'd even opened his eyes. It had been a dream. He could feel a warm hand holding his and he slowly opened his eyes to see which of his friends was sitting with him.

His breath caught in his throat as he took in his surroundings, through not his normal blurry vision, but clear eyes. The crisp sheets that covered him were deep red, not white, and there was a canopy above his head where hung heavy black drapes. He was most definitely not at Hogwarts.

"Oh, you're awake!" Danielle cried as she hugged him tightly, burying her face into his chest. "I was so worried. I heard you screaming, but they wouldn't let me back in. I'm so sorry, Harry, please, please forgive me!"

Harry simply stared at the top of Danielle's head as she sobbed into his pajama shirt. His memories were a little fuzzy, but he clearly remembered Voldemort saying that she'd known what her grandfather was, yet she loved him. He also remembered Voldemort telling him that she loved him too. He didn't know if he was capable of returning that love, but he could forgive.

Harry sighed and wrapped his arms around her. "I forgive you," he said quietly, though there was little warmth in his voice.

Danielle pulled back, looking into his eyes hopefully. "You do?"

"Yeah, I guess I understand why you did it."

"I didn't know he was going to hurt you, he swore he wouldn't, he promised me. I'm so sorry," Danielle started to cry again and Harry wiped her tears from her cheek with his thumb.

"He didn't hurt me, he – he cured me," Harry said with a heavy sigh.

"He did? Really, you're going to be all right, you're not going to…"

"Shush," Harry hushed her, putting his fingers over her smiling lips. "I'm not going to die," he said with a conviction he knew to be true, well at least where the cancer was concerned. "I'm going to be fine," he lied. He knew once Voldemort got a hold him, he was going to be anything but fine.

"Oh, Harry, I'm so happy!" she exclaimed and threw herself into his arms, hugging him again. Harry hugged her back lightly, but abruptly stilled as the door opened and Voldemort walked in alone.

"I see we're awake," Voldemort hissed and Danielle sat up and then rushed over and hugged Voldemort's still form as Harry pulled himself up in bed and stared warily at his enemy.

"Thank you, Grandfather, thank you!" Voldemort didn't hug his granddaughter back, but he allowed her embrace, which shocked Harry a bit.

Harry glared at Voldemort when the Dark Lord's red eyes met his own. Harry still felt weak, but not the same weakness as he'd had the last few months. This was weakness that came with lack of proper food, and lack of activity.

"Enough, Daniella," Voldemort said lightly after a moment, and gently pushed the girl away from him, as he continued to stared at Harry. "Mr. Potter would probably like some sustenance, why don't you find a House Elf and order some food for our _guest_," the last word was hissed darkly, though Danielle seemed not to notice.

She smiled and then nodded. "I'll be right back, Harry, you're probably starving," she said quickly.

Harry's eyes never left Voldemort's and the Dark Lord's didn't leave Harry's as Danielle looked between them briefly and then rushed out of the room.

"So when does the torture begin," Harry finally spit out.

Voldemort smirked. "Haven't you noticed? It's already begun."

Harry stared hard at his enemy. "So you're to use Danielle against me? Is that it? Well it won't work."

"Use my own granddaughter against you? Now why would I ever have to do that, when I have such more effective means?"

Confusion washed over Harry. "I –"

"Don't you feel it? It's temporary of course, a side effect of the cure, if you will, but so alluring while it lasts. How long do you think you can stand against it, before you yield to my will and join me?"

Harry's confusion dissolved as he remembered what he'd felt just before he'd passed out, and then he felt it again. His face paled. It felt like a cloud of darkness moving around his mind, shadowing his senses. Horror washed over Harry's face as he listened, as he actually heard it whispering to him asking him to embrace it, not in words, but emotions, willing his mind to accept Voldemort's will.

"No, I won't!" he snarled, pushing himself out of bed and physically throwing himself at the Dark Lord, with a strength he'd not had in months.

Voldemort simply flicked his wand and Harry was frozen, floating in the middle of the room. He circled Harry, his wand still raised. "I could break down your mental barriers, let the parasite's thoughts consume you, use you until it runs its course, leaving you quite insane, I'm sure. However, somewhere very deep down inside, it seems I have a heart when it concerns my granddaughter. I believe she would be much pleased if you still have a mind after this whole ordeal, so I'll allow you to fight it on your own until your own will is weakened enough that you give into mine. Make no mistake, Potter, you are mine and you will take the Dark Mark, even if I have to torture you until you obey me and no other."

"So you're just going to take over my mind, use me like some puppet?" Harry spat out, even as fear washed over him. "I can see how pleased your granddaughter will be with that," he hissed sarcastically, though his voice wavered.

Voldemort allowed his spell to drop and Harry crumbled to the floor. He moved to push himself up, but stopped and looked up at Voldemort's glowing wand tip warily. The Dark Lord abruptly grabbed his right hand and then tapped Harry's wrist with his wand. A silver snake appeared, wrapping itself tightly around Harry's wrist. Harry hissed as it tightened enough to cut into his skin, before loosening and then forming a thick solid cuff. There was a buildup of pressure before it dissipated, leaving Harry dazed, and slightly winded.

"Just in case you have the thought of escape," Voldemort whispered, dropping Harry's hand. "And don't worry, my will on you won't last forever, only long enough for you to realize on your own that what I want for this world is far better than anything the _light_ side could even hope to achieve. And then you'll want to join me."

The Dark Lord smirked down at Harry's disgusted glare and then moving back just as a House Elf came through the door with a tray of food, followed by Danielle. She took one look at Harry and rushed to his side. "What are you doing out of bed? Grandfather, you shouldn't have let him get up, he's not strong enough."

Voldemort continued to smirked at Harry. "Forgive me, Daniella, you are of course correct. Help him back into bed, and make sure he's well fed. He'll after all, need his strength if he's to _return_ to Hogwarts." With that said, Voldemort swept out of the room.

Harry stared after Voldemort, there was no doubt in his mind that returning to school was not on the agenda. Danielle helped Harry slide into bed. "I'm fine," Harry said abruptly, when she was about to push him back to lay down.

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

Harry clenched his fist, looking at the silver manacle briefly. "Yeah, I'm fine, Danielle. I just wanted to see if I could walk," Harry said with a sigh, ignoring the whispering in his mind as she handed him a bowl of fruit.

--

Harry paced back and forth like a caged tiger, in the suite of rooms he'd woken up in several days before. His strength had returned to him quickly, but his magic was locked away, thanks to the fetter that encircled his right wrist. Besides the fact that he was a prisoner, he was afforded almost every luxury. He'd been given tailored clothes, books on any subject he wanted, and even all of his favorite foods. If Voldemort was trying to win him over with _kindness_, it wouldn't work.

Harry had discovered quickly, that when Danielle visited him, the door to his rooms were left unlocked, but as soon as she left, it sealed itself. Harry had tried many different ways to get out, including throwing himself at the apparently not glass windows in his rooms, but he'd never attempted it when Danielle was around.

Voldemort may have some sort of soft spot for the girl, but he knew she'd be blamed if she let him escape, and he'd never ask her to help him. Harry could see the guilt in her eyes growing as the days went by, and his daily emotions become more and more erratic, thanks to the magical parasite within him, but she wasn't ready to go against her grandfather yet. She still held onto the belief that Voldemort was going to let Harry leave freely one day.

Harry hadn't seen his enemy at all since the first day, but he could always feel him, as if he was sitting in the back of his mind, waiting. Harry suddenly kicked at the wall, as what was once a whisper, shouted in his mind again, physically causing him pain. Harry was still fighting against it, but every time the parasite spoke Voldemort's will to him, made him feel what the Dark Lord wanted, what the parasite needed, Harry was hard-pressed not to give in. It was getting harder, and the voice was getting louder, the emotions a stampede over his own. Sometimes he didn't even know what his own were. He hoped that it would soon be gone, he didn't know how much longer he could stand against it, how much longer he wanted to.

The door suddenly opened, and Harry, expecting Danielle, didn't turned around right away to see who it was, but he certainly did when he heard the Dark Lord's voice. "Hold him."

Harry was grabbed on both sides of him by two Death Eaters. He unexpectedly twisted his arm out of the hold of the first one to grab him. He pushed the Death Eater into the second one, with a sudden strength he didn't know he had, and definitely wasn't his own. Harry was frozen for his unplanned efforts.

"Do I have to do everything?" Voldemort sneered, holding his wand tightly in his anger. "Now hold him," he ordered and the two Death Eaters grabbed him with viselike grips before Voldemort released the spell. He grabbed Harry's left arm and ripped the sleeve back.

Harry struggled again, this time out of his own fear and not some darkened instinct, trying to pull his arm back as he saw Voldemort's intent. "I thought the Dark Mark had to be taken willingly!" Harry snarled.

"It does," Voldemort hissed. "I'm not giving you the Dark Mark, yet. I'm giving you the Brand of Slytherin," he said conversationally and then placed his wand on Harry's forearm.

Harry grunted as pain raced up his arm and he clenched his left fist and gritted his teeth. He watched in half amazement, half horror, as a black and silver snake coiled on his arm where the Dark Mark was placed on Death Eaters. He stared as the snake uncoiled and then he cried out as he felt the serpent literally moving under his skin as it circled around his forearm several times before finally settling. It's head came to rest on the pale side of his wrist, it's eyes glowing bright emerald green before fading to be the same color as Harry's own.

The Death Eaters abruptly released him and then left the room. Harry staggered a couple paces back, as he stared at the black and silver tattoo that looked like a real snake under his skin. Harry shakily ran his hand over the brand and immediately pulled his hand away as he realized that his skin was slightly raised where the snake lay, wrapped around his arm.

"You should feel privileged it accepted you, Potter, and didn't kill you. Only those with the blood of Salazar Slytherin can bare his mark."

Harry's eyes snapped up to Voldemort's. "What?"

"I took the liberty of looking into your family history. I was curious after learning the full contents of the Prophecy. I realized that we are equal in almost every way, but blood and magic. Magic, you will no doubt, become my equal in when you come of age, and with time, you will gain knowledge as well. But blood… yes we are both half bloods, but no blood is purer than Salazar Slytherin's, he performed rituals to make it so. Therefore, you see, we could not be equals on that par. I did some investigating and found out we have a common ancestor. It seems Salazar's great grandchildren spread the line further than I had first conceived. You are a Slytherin, many generations back, through your mother's line."

Voldemort showed Harry his own pale arm, where a similar snake was etched into his skin and Harry shook his head in denial. "We are not related!" he hissed angrily.

"Yes, distantly, it seems we are. Most intriguing is it not?" the Dark Lord said with a smirk.

Harry looked at Voldemort's tattoo and then his own, as the snake seemed to glare up at him with cold green eyes; he felt an unexpected sense of oneness. Harry shook his head and wrenched his eyes away. "I still won't join you!" he spat harshly. "I will never join you, no matter what you do to my mind!"

Voldemort simply laughed. "_As you say_," he hissed in Parseltongue and then swept out of the room.

Danielle rushed in just after he left, looking over her shoulder briefly, before she stopped and took in the snake on Harry's arm. "Wow, we are cousins," she whispered. Obviously, she'd known that Voldemort was going to brand him, and knew what it meant.

Harry stared at her. "So it would seem," he said simply.

--

Harry flicked his eyes at the open door and then back at Danielle, who was sitting at a desk in the room, reading a book. He was tempted to make a break for it. It had been three days since he was branded, and the parasite within him was only getting stronger. He didn't know if he could fight it any longer, he almost didn't want to, but there was still a small part of his mind, nudging him to keep fighting it.

Another wave of emotions, not his own, washed over him and Harry clenched his fists tightly until the feeling passed and he was able to come back into his own senses. He looked up at Danielle again, who was now biting her lip as she watched the cold play of emotions cross his face with even more guilt than ever.

"I… I heard Grandfather say that it'll only last a couple more hours, and then the side effect of the cure will be gone." Danielle looked out the door again and then back at Harry. "I – I don't think he's going to give up," she said quietly, with fear in her eyes as if she'd just realized that Harry was a prisoner here and not a guest. Harry knew that she didn't yet comprehend what would happen if he managed to beat the parasite inside of him, though.

"He won't." Harry had not discussed with Danielle what he knew was happening. What was going to happen, but it was time she realized, even if it pained her to know what she'd done by bringing Harry here. "This thing inside of me, even if I beat it…" Harry hissed as another wave washed over him. They were coming quicker than before. The parasite was obviously getting desperate to obey its creator, so that when Voldemort forced his full will against him, Harry would simply kneel at his feet willingly. He looked back up to Danielle, who had obviously noticed this as well as the fear grew in her eyes. "If I beat it Danielle, he won't simply let me go."

"I-I know, I heard… But what can I do –" She stopped, her glistening eyes widening, as if she'd just realized something. She looked to the open door yet again. "Grandfather doesn't watch me, I bet I can leave, and he wouldn't know until it was too late," she said with a hushed voice, looking back at Harry. "_I_ can get you out of here."

Harry stood and walked over to her, he put his hand on her shoulder, as she turned to look up at him. "You could do that," he said simply. "But we'd probably be caught. I don't even have access to my magic," Harry said, holding up his right hand, reminding her of the manacle around his wrist.

"But we have mine," she said eagerly. "And if we can get passed the wards, I know how to take someone with me when I Apparate –"

"You'd go against your grandfather?" Harry questioned, she had to know what she was planning. She was a smart girl, but she was a typical Gryffindor, as Snape would say, impulsive in the worst of times.

Danielle bit her lip and looked away from Harry for a moment, as if her mind was suddenly realizing the implications of her plan. Her eyes flickered back up to Harry's; emotions quickly flashed over her eyes, before determination settled in them. "If he's only going to hurt you further, yes," she said firmly.

"You will be punished, severely," Harry said. He didn't want to be harsh with her, but she had to understand. "He won't give you quarter just because you're his granddaughter. He's wanted me far too long. He could kill you for this betrayal."

Danielle squared her shoulders. "I don't care. I love you more!"

Harry stared into Danielle's blue eyes. He reached out and brushed the back of his hand down her cheek. The last time he'd had someone care so much to save him… She grabbed his hand tightly, holding it there. Harry pulled his hand away. "I won't be responsible for your death too," he whispered. "Go, before I'm tempted to take you up on your offer," he said, turning his back on her.

Danielle jumped from her seat. "No! I didn't bring you here to save you, only to lose you again!"

"I'm not going anywhere," Harry reminded her sardonically.

"No, but every time I look at you, your eyes are colder. Even when you were sick and angry because you knew you were dying, you never looked at me with eyes so cold, at anyone. I'm losing you by the minute! I can feel it. Y-you used to love me too," she said sadly.

Harry turned back to stare at her. He had loved her; he remembered that, but he couldn't quite grasp the emotion. He'd not realized he'd slipped so far, he thought he was beating this, but he wasn't. Harry closed his eyes tightly as another wave came over him, part of him was telling him just to give in, that it would be so much easier, but there was still that part of him that knew how wrong it was, how wrong it was that he couldn't feel love anymore.

"Please, Harry, let me get you out of here, before it's too late," Danielle pleaded.

Harry didn't open his eyes. "It's already too late," he whispered.

"It's not!" she said adamantly.

Harry opened his eyes. "I don't know if I'll even be myself by the end of the day, Danielle," Harry said seriously.

"You only have to hold on for a couple more hours."

"And then he'll be back, and if I don't give in, he'll torture me until I do."

"Then we'll go now, before he comes back. Please, Harry!" Danielle pulled on his arm, pulling him toward the door, but Harry planted his feet firmly after a couple of steps. She looked surprised that he was stronger than she was. He'd never since he'd met her, been stronger than her.

"I'm not going," he said firmly, extricating his arm from her grasp. "Go to Dumbledore, tell him… Tell him, I tried, but I wasn't strong enough..."

"No, I'm not leaving without you!"

Harry growled as another wave came over him. "Get Out!" he screamed, pushing her toward the door. She stumbled, and would have fallen, but a masked Death Eater caught her.

"Perhaps it would be wise if you left, my Lady," a very familiar voice said quietly and Harry's eyes shot up to look into the grey eyes of Lucius Malfoy. He glared disdainfully at him. "We wouldn't want you harmed in anyway."

Danielle looked at Harry for a moment and then hanging her head sadly, walked out of the room, knowing she wouldn't be able to stand against her father's right hand man. Harry expected Malfoy to follow her out, but just after she passed the threshold, he turned and closed the door quietly. He turned back to look at Harry, as he removed his mask.

"How long until you give in?" he asked. "Will you beat the parasite?"

Harry glared at Malfoy coldly. "I will," he said boldly. He wouldn't show that he was on the verge of giving up.

Malfoy took a step towards him and then stopped when Harry took an uneasy step back. He looked Harry over intently and then seemed to settle on a decision. "I believe you just might."

"What are you doing here, Malfoy? I'm sure the Dark Lord has ordered you all to stay away from me," Harry sneered.

"He has," Lucius said simply. "If you beat the parasite, how long do you believe you can hold against the Dark Lord?"

Harry stared edgily at Malfoy. "I don't know," he hissed. "Until he gets angry enough and kills me," he scoffed.

"He won't kill you, not yet," Malfoy hissed in turn. "Can you last an hour?"

"Against the Cruciatus?" laughed Harry humorlessly. "Nothing can stand that long against it."

"He won't use the Cruciatus Curse for an hour, a few minutes, to soften your barriers perhaps, and then he'll use Legilimency. He'll enter your mind and press his will on you. Severus mentioned that you've become adept at Occluding your mind. Can you hold for an hour?"

Harry stared hard at Malfoy. "Why do you want to know?"

Lucius held up a small pin. "This is set to go off in approximately three hours. The Dark Lord kindly made it for Severus. It was supposed to bring Severus to Hogwarts in time for his afternoon class, but he gave it to me, to give to you. What I want to know, is can you hold on that long?"

"Why, why would you help me?" Harry asked cagily. "I helped put you in Prison," he reminded.

"Yes, that was an inconvenience," Lucius muttered darkly. "However, if you join us, the Dark Lord will give you my place in the inner circle. I've worked too hard for that position." Harry raised an eyebrow at the vain answer. "And, Severus and Dumbledore have promised to keep my son and wife out of the war," he admitted almost unwillingly. "Can you hold on for an hour?"

Harry sighed. "No," he answered honestly. "But, I've been reading some of the books here and if someone else were to place their will on me soon afterwards, they might be able to break Voldemort's hold."

Lucius nodded. "I'll alert Severus to be ready; he's the strongest in Legilimency."

Lucius took a step towards Harry again and held out the pin. Harry glared at Malfoy a moment, and then took it. "You do realize that if I give in, the first thing I'll be obliged to do is turn you over. It'll probably be the first thing I'll want to do."

"Luckily for me, I will not be here. I'm expected at a meeting in the Ministry within the hour, which the Dark Lord fortunately knows about."

"I see your high standing in society is still working in your favor," Harry commented dryly. "Make sure Danielle's not here either. Take her to Hogwarts," Harry practically ordered as he moved to place the pin on the inside of his shirt.

"Put in on the cuff of your pant leg. The Dark Lord will likely remove your shirt to mark you."

Harry stilled and then did as he was told. He'd forgotten that he could come away from this with the Dark Mark. He hoped he didn't, the Brand of Slytherin was enough. Harry flexed his arm as he stood, looking at the snake etched into his forearm.

He looked up to Malfoy when he gasped. "You're a Slytherin!"

Harry narrowed his eyes at him. "I am not a Slytherin. I only carry his blood," he hissed angrily.

Lucius looked as if he wanted to counter Harry on that point, but another wave came over Harry, causing him to stumble back onto the bed, as he clenched his teeth against the emotions and tried to keep remembering why he was fighting it.

Harry looked up at Lucius after it had passed. "You better go; Voldemort will be back shortly, I'm sure he'll want to watch the end of this." Lucius nodded and moved to leave. "Malfoy." He stopped and looked back at Harry. "If I come out of this myself, remind me to thank you."

"You won't have the chance. If you come through this with your will intact, the next time I see you, I'll be ordered to kill you," Malfoy said bluntly.

Harry smirked. "Then thank you ahead of time." He cringed as the parasite pushed Voldemort's will on him again. "Go," Harry hissed, through clenched teeth.

Lucius stared at him for a moment, and then returning his mask to his face, he swept out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Harry breathed deeply, after the feelings left him again. He stared at the closed door and waited for it to open again; knowing the next person to come through the door would be Lord Voldemort.

--

Harry was in the middle of fighting off another attack against his mind, when the door opened. "Bring him," Voldemort said simply, and the two Death Eaters grabbed him, and began to drag him out of the room.

Harry came back to his own mind halfway down the hall. Anger washed over him, that was purely his own and he kicked the Death Eater on his right and slammed the rest of his weight into the one of his left, making them all fall to the stone floor. Harry scrambled to his feet and jumped at Voldemort, intent on getting his hands around the bastard's throat. He unsurprisingly found himself frozen and floating in the middle of the hall. Voldemort seemed to like that spell.

The Dark Lord sauntered up to him and flicked his wand. Harry clenched his eyes shut as small bursts of pain laced over skin. "One would think you would have learned to not fight me by now." Harry glared coldly, after the pain vanished. "Get up you imbeciles," Voldemort snapped at the Death Eaters. "It won't be long now before the parasite is through with him, I want my Death Eaters to see him kneeling at my feet."

The Death Eaters both scrambled to their feet and this time held Harry more firmly, as they continued down the corridor and into the Hall Harry remembered from when he had arrived. But unlike before, this time the Hall was filled with Death Eaters, all robed and masked. Harry glared at them all, as he was forced to walk to the front of the Hall with Voldemort.

The Death Eaters in the hall all knelt down and remained kneeling, until Voldemort motioned for them to rise. The two Death Eaters released Harry, at Voldemort's non-verbal command and then joined the others, leaving Harry to stand before all of them and their lord.

"Harry Potter will be joining our ranks this day," Voldemort hissed lightly, though his voice carried well over the Hall.

Harry glared at the Dark Lord, and was about to declare that he would never join him, but the emotions rushed over him again, baring Voldemort's will down on him. This time, however, it lasted much longer and caused severe pain to flood through him. Harry dropped to his knees, clutching his head. The pain tripled as Harry fought it and then it was gone, leaving Harry shaking. He opened his eyes to see a puddle of blood along with a black thing, sitting on the stone, the parasite. Harry used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the blood from his mouth and nose and then he looked up at Voldemort, who was standing there, waiting.

Harry shoved himself to his feet. "I will _never_ join you," he spat harshly, and the Death Eaters gasped.

Voldemort drew his wand and pointed it at Harry. "_Crucio_," he hissed and Harry braced himself for the pain curse. The pain came swiftly, driving him to his knees again and then Voldemort was standing over him. "_Legilimens_," he whispered, and entered Harry's mind crashing through his flimsy barriers with little effort.

Harry fought fearfully against it as Voldemort forced his mind upon him. But there was nothing he could do. His mind fought, his will fought harder, but then finally, Harry couldn't take it any longer and he gave in. It was as if a damn broke within him and Harry couldn't resist the urge to embrace the darkness and power Voldemort offered him. He could feel it flowing in him, through him and when the Dark Lord finally left his mind, he didn't rise from his kneeling position, he didn't want to and he really couldn't remember why he was fighting in the first place.

Voldemort smirked in triumph as Harry bowed against the last twinges of his will. "You see, my followers, Harry Potter will be joining our ranks today."

Harry lifted his head and looked up at Voldemort coldly; he smirked as he offered his left arm. With a flick of his wand, Harry's shirt was removed. Harry watched with fascination as the snake on his arm, moved under his skin, baring his forearm to Voldemort, who hovered his wand over the smooth skin.

"_Mors Mordre_," he hissed.

Harry watched the magic build up in Voldemort's wand, making the tip glow black before it was released onto his forearm. Suddenly the magic seemed to stop half a centimeter off his skin, and Harry's vision blurred as he felt the familiar feeling of the Portkey activating.

As the swirl of colors finally came to a stop, Harry had half a second to wonder that it had already been three hours, before the pain of the marking curse washed over him; he screamed and wreathed, unaware of the commotion around him. Finally, the tendrils of the curse dissipated, and Harry lay still, breathing heavily.

"Harry," Danielle screamed and rushed to his side, and dropping to her knees beside him, sobbing.

Harry didn't push her away, as she clung to him, but nor did he embrace her to comfort her. He stared up at the ceiling of Snape's office, unmoving as he felt the snake on his arm shift under his skin.

"Daniella, come away from him," Dumbledore said quietly, as he watched Harry warily.

Harry blinked when Danielle was pulled away from him, and then he slowly stood up. "I'm all right," he whispered finally and Snape and Dumbledore both seemed to sigh in relief.

"The parasite?" asked Snape.

"Gone," Harry said simply, not looking at either of the Professors.

"Harry?" Dumbledore ask, when Harry continued to stare at the floor.

Harry raised his cold eyes to Dumbledore and smirked. "Perhaps, you should kill me before I am released from this, Dumbledore," Harry hissed baring the fetter still on his wrist.

Dumbledore's eyes hardened. "Severus."

Snape froze Harry with a simple wave of his wand and then he grabbed Harry's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. Harry hissed as Snape slammed into the barriers Voldemort had left in his mind. He felt his body trying to pull away, but was still held by the spell. His teeth clenched as waves of pain raced through his body.

"Please, stop, you're hurting him!" Danielle yelled.

"Please, Danielle, let Severus concentrate, it'll all be over soon," Dumbledore said quietly.

And soon it was, as the same feeling of a damn breaking rushed over him, the last remnants of Harry's own will fought to the surface again and forced Snape out of his mind, both mentally and physically. Snape staggered back, clutching at his head, and fell to his knees as the spell broke on Harry and he slumped to the floor, breathing heavily.

"Harry?" Danielle asked. Harry looked up at her tiredly. Tears were streaming down her face. He sighed and then held his arms open to her. She ran into them. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

"Shush," Harry hushed, hugging her tightly. "It's all right. I'm all right." Harry whispered and then looked over at Snape. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I owe you my life, again." Severus only nodded in acceptance of that.

"Severus, why don't you take Danielle up to my office," Dumbledore said after a moment. Snape got to his feet, grabbed a couple vials off a shelf and then gently pulled Danielle away from Harry and led her out of the room. He downed one of the vials as he left, and Harry was sure it was a headache reliever.

Harry put his head in his hands, and wished he had one as well. But it wasn't a physical headache that plagued him, but a mental one. He said he was all right, but he really wasn't.

"Are you really all right, Harry," Dumbledore asked as Harry slowly pushed himself back to his feet.

Harry shook his head. "No, but I will be," he said heavily as he sat in one of the chairs at Snape desk.

"Had I known there was such a cure –" Dumbledore began as he took the other seat.

"No," Harry said harshly. "What he did to me… I would have preferred death, Professor."

Dumbledore nodded in understanding as he looked at Harry with concern in his eyes. "Perhaps it would be wise to have Madam Pomfrey check you over, the Cruciatus Curse you were just hit with –"

"That was not the Cruciatus Curse, Professor," Harry interrupted.

"What was it?" Dumbledore asked with alarm.

Harry slowly held out his arm. "He branded me," Harry said shakily. The snake was still there, wrapped around his forearm, its head resting in the same place it had first settled. But, the snake wasn't only wrapped around his forearm now, but also around the Dark Mark, as if it were embracing it against his arm. "I think it caused me so much pain, because the Portkey activated at the same time he released the spell."

Dumbledore sat there staring at the mark, words obviously failing him. Finally, he sighed. "You and Voldemort are the only two who know it's there…"

"I'll keep it hidden," Harry agreed.

"What is this other mark?" Dumbledore asked, taking in the green-eyed, silver and black snake.

Harry looked away from Dumbledore. "The Brand of Slytherin," he said heavily. "Like Voldemort, I'm a descendant," Harry hissed angrily.

--

_To be continued…_


	12. To Not Remember

_AN: I don't own Harry Potter, that's quite obvious, I'm not rich. :)_

(_So sorry for the long delay between updates, no real excuse really, just got stampeded over by many things all at once, but hopefully my updates will be more frequent now that things have settled down.)_

--

Chapter Twelve – To Not Remember

Harry tried not to fidget under Madam Pomfrey's scans, but it was difficult. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind he was waiting for her to tell him that he was still dying, that what Voldemort had done was only temporary. He wouldn't have put it passed the sick bastard to make a spell that only made people think they weren't going to die a slow and painful death.

Harry was brought back from his dark thoughts when the Medi-Witch ended her scan. "I am very happy to say that besides your magic being blocked, you are in perfect physical health, Harry."

Harry let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. At least he'd gotten something out of his not so great adventure. "So, I'm free to return to classes, however far behind I am," he asked with a small smile.

Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth and then looked to Dumbledore instead of answering. Harry frowned and turned to look at the old man as well. He gave him a questioning look.

"I'm not so sure it is a good idea for you to return to classes just yet, Harry," Dumbledore said carefully.

"Why? I know I can't actually do the spells because of this stupid thing," Harry clenched his right fist, and held up the cuff with a bit of irritation. "But I don't see why I can't sit in on classes and do the non-practical work. Hermione and Danielle can catch me up in the rest when we figure out how to get it off."

"It's not a matter of what course work you can and can't do, Harry, it's your mind and emotions I'm concerned about." Harry frowned further. "You must understand you have been through quite an ordeal."

"I – that may be, but I really just want to get back into a normal routine," Harry said a bit edgily.

"You may want to, but to be honest Harry, since you've been back, your emotions have been very erratic. I'm not so sure you are ready to rejoin your classmates."

"_Erratic_! Your emotions would be erratic too after what I've just been through!" Harry hissed, angrily raising his voice.

Dumbledore stared at him and Harry realized what he was getting at. In the last couple days since he'd escaped Voldemort, he was very quick to anger. But Harry still felt that the best thing for him was to be around people again. He'd been fairly isolated for the last couple weeks, with nothing but the parasite and his own mind, and on occasion Danielle, who he really did little talking too.

Harry took in a deep breath to calm himself. "I still think the best thing for me to do is attend classes and be with my friends," Harry said with a controlled voice.

Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore shared a brief slightly uncertain glance. "Very well, I will allow you to attend classes, under one stipulation," Dumbledore said as he glanced at Madam Pomfrey again and Harry waited for the one stipulation with narrowed eyes. "You have to see a mind-healer."

Harry stood quickly. "You want me to see a shrink?" he shouted incredulously.

"More of a psychologist," Madam Pomfrey said with a slight wince at the look on Harry's face.

"No! I'm perfectly not crazy, thank you very much! I don't want someone trying to pick my brain apart to find out whether or not I'm stable!" Harry seethed angrily.

"That's not why we want you to see a mind-healer, Harry. Your mind has gone through a lot of trauma in the last couple of weeks and there could be adverse side-effects from that," Dumbledore tried to reason calmly.

Harry looked at Madam Pomfrey. "According to your scans, is my brain functioning normally?"

"Yes, Harry, it is," Madam Pomfrey sighed.

"Then I don't need to see a mind-healer," Harry stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Harry, under Ministry rules, I cannot allow you back among the population of Hogwarts until you have seen a mind-healer, and until you do, you are considered a danger to your fellow students, and my staff," Dumbledore said firmly.

Harry stared hard at Dumbledore. "You've ignored Ministry rules when it concerns me before, why can't you now?"

"This is one Ministry rule I will not break, Harry. I believe it is in your best interest to see a mind-healer."

Harry shook his head. "I guess I'm going home then, because I'm not seeing a mind-healer!" Harry declared angrily.

Dumbledore put his head in his hand and sighed heavily. He looked back up to Harry after a long moment. "Very well, it is your decision, of course. You will be welcome back after the school holidays, if you see a mind-healer or an appropriate Muggle psychologist first."

Harry glared coldly at Dumbledore for a moment and then turned his back on him. "_Fine_," he hissed in Parseltongue without realizing it. Behind him, Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey looked at each other, startled.

--

Harry sat in the sitting room at Privet Drive, staring off into space, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. It'd been several days since he had left Hogwarts. Several long days, where he'd not done much of anything, but think and help his aunt out around the house a bit, purely for something physical to do.

He'd gotten several letters from his friends, asking a plethora of questions, but he'd not replied to any of them yet, not knowing what to say. Most of their questions focused around how he was doing, but he couldn't give them an answer because the truth was, he didn't know himself.

He hadn't been able to see his friends before he'd left through the Floo Network to Mrs. Figgs. He'd been assured that they knew he was well, but he still wished he had been able to say good-bye to them at least. He'd asked about Danielle several times before he'd left, but all they would tell him was that she had rejoined the others in Gryffindor and that no one knew of her involvement in his capture. He'd not received a letter from her yet, and he didn't know what to write to her.

Harry was conflicted about their relationship. The entire time he was sick, he'd not held any feelings other than friendship with her. He'd honestly not let himself even contemplate feelings of love on a romantic level. He knew she loved him. She'd told him so, but he didn't know how far those feelings spread. He didn't know how far his own feelings spread.

He didn't know if he'd be returning to Hogwarts, he didn't know if he'd be returning to the Wizarding World. Right now, with the fetter on is wrist, he was practically a Muggle. The way the manacle blocked his magic, he couldn't even be classified as a squib, and Dumbledore hadn't offered to find a way to get it off.

Harry looked up when his aunt walked into the room. "How are you doing, Harry?" she asked quietly, sitting down beside him. She'd been informed of everything since his disappearance from Hogwarts and his subsequent return. Dumbledore had been very clear in pointing out his possible emotional instability.

Harry smiled tightly at her. "Better than earlier I suppose," Harry answered honestly, with no humor in his voice.

His aunt looked at him with concern in her eyes. His uncle had walked in on him early that morning in a moment of pure insanity. The Dark Mark had started burning on his arm and in his delirium of feeling the pain and absolute darkness that came with the call for the first time, he'd taken a kitchen knife to his arm, trying to cut the mark from his skin unsuccessfully. His uncle had taken the knife from him and held him tightly, not letting him do further harm to himself until the moment had passed and Harry had calmed down.

After coming to the conclusion that the two very magical looking tattoos would raise some eyebrows in the Muggle World, and not wanting to bring attention to Harry at a Wizarding Hospital, his aunt and uncle had decided to patch his arm up themselves. Petunia had carefully cleaned and bandaged it herself. Luckily, it hadn't looked as if he'd need stitches.

"Harry, I know you panicked this morning, but perhaps you should talk to someone about this. Cutting yourself is not –"

"If you say normal," Harry nearly growled.

"Actually I was going to say conducive to your well being," she said firmly, pinching her lips.

Harry sighed. "I'm sorry, Aunt Petunia," he apologized sincerely. At times, it was difficult to forget how his family had once treated him, though he was honestly pleased at the change in them. "It won't happen again. I know what to expect now, and I can deal with it. I just hadn't expected the call to be that painful. I don't envy Snape when he has to ignore it."

Petunia nodded and stood from the couch. "I've a luncheon meeting. There are sandwiches in the ice box, you're welcome to them." Harry nodded, staring at his hands as she started to leave the room. She stopped and turned back. "I know you don't wish to see a-a mind-healer was it?" Harry nodded, looking up. "But I know the school councilor at Stonewall…"

"Aunt Petunia," Harry hissed through clenched teeth, with just a bit of warning, fighting to keep his temper in check.

Petunia sighed. "Very well," she said. "I'll be back around two."

Harry watched her as she left and then he turned back to staring at nothing again. After a few minutes, Harry sighed. Dumbledore was right. His emotions were all over the place and his actions were becoming rash at times. But after having the parasite in his mind, he didn't want to even think about it, let alone try and talk about it. He just didn't want to remember the last few months at all.

He knew his aunt meant well by suggesting he see the councilor, but even if he were ready to talk about it, what would he say to a Muggle? How could he explain what it was like having someone else's will trying to take over his own, the feeling that he was vanishing from existence, even if he was coherent for all of it? How could he tell someone that through the entire time, he was in his right mind, but he was forced to go against everything he ever believed, and to feel as if it were the right thing to do?

Harry stood up and paced the sitting room. He really needed something to take his mind off… well, everything. Harry looked around the sitting room. At the television, the narrow bookcase, the magazine sitting on the coffee table, and then he shook his head and walked out of the room. There was nothing in the house that would keep his attentions long enough. There was nothing to clean, as he'd already done it all without it even having been suggested to him. He'd even weeded the flower patch that lacked any living plants and painted the fence.

Harry grabbed his jacket from the coat rack, slipped on his sneakers, and walked out into the early afternoon sunlight. There was a chill on the air that Harry hadn't felt on Privet Drive since he was ten years old. Harry smiled slightly; he could smell the fresh scent of winter, he'd always liked the crisp clean smell of winter.

--

Harry walked along Magnolia Crescent some hours later. He wasn't sure how long he'd been gone from number four, but the sun was setting behind him and the air was growing colder. Harry had just decided to go back when someone suddenly yelled his name. He looked up and across the street to a group of kids.

"You're Harry Potter, right?" a boy about his age asked. He was one of at least seven other boys and girls, who all crossed the rather deserted street.

Harry looked around a moment and then nodded. "Yeah," he said while looking over the group. He vaguely recognized some of them and realized he must have attended primary school with them.

"John Growling, we went to primary together," the boy confirmed.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, umm, I remember some of you I guess."

"What are you doing here, thought you went off to attend some private school like your cousin," a girl beside John asked. Harry wasn't certain, but he vaguely remembered the girl's name to be Julie or Jamie or something along those lines.

"Yeah, I'm sort of on break for a bit. Look I was just on my way back home…"

"Wait, we were all heading over to the Shack, want to come with? If you don't have anything better to do I mean," John said.

Harry's interest was piqued. "What's the Shack?" he asked.

The group grinned. "Come on, we'll show you," another of the girls said and took his arm. Harry decided to just go along with them; he didn't have much else to do. What could it hurt hanging out with some neighborhood kids anyways?

--

Harry sat with an icepack on his pounding head several hours later. Where he sat was in an interrogation room at the Surrey Police Station, at a table in front of a sergeant who was relentlessly asking him questions that he'd stopped answering after the third repeated set. Instead, he was staring past the man, through the windowed, slightly ajar door, into the rest of the precinct.

"Come on, Potter, you were with them for hours, you've got to have some clue."

Harry growled and dropped the ice pack. "Look I said I don't know!" he finally shouted in frustration. "I knew a few of them from primary school! I haven't seen any of them in years and could barely remember their names then. I told you John Growling did it, one of the girls was Julie or Jessica or Jamie or something like that. I have no idea, and asking me over and over again is just making my head hurt more!"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and put his head in his cuffed hands, mentally swearing off drinking and drugs for the rest of his life, if this was the after effects of it.

"I'm here to pick up Harry Potter."

Harry suddenly lifted his head and groaned when he heard his name at the front desk.

Harry didn't smile when he saw Remus Lupin. Now he was going to get an earful. The officer at the desk pointed toward him and Harry looked away, picking the icepack back up and placing it on the large bruised cut on his forehead.

"Hello," Remus said pointedly to the sergeant as he entered the room. "I'm Remus Lupin Harry's acting godfather; his aunt and uncle asked me to pick him up."

"We're not quite done with him yet, but I'll give him a few minutes with you before I continue questioning him. Perhaps you can inspire his memory to cooperate with us."

Harry glared at the sergeant as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him, and to the front desk. Harry was about to stick his tongue out childishly at the man's back, but then he met Remus' eyes again, and he quelled the impulse with an eye roll.

"What happened, Harry?" Remus asked, taking the seat across from him.

"Isn't it obvious, I got drunk?"

"You did a bit more than that. You stole a car, Harry," Remus stated firmly.

"If you know so much, why the hell did you ask?" Harry growled out, letting the ice pack and his hands drop to the tabletop again.

Remus flinched slightly at the sight of the cut on the side of Harry's forehead. "You stole a car," Remus repeated pointedly, obviously expecting an excuse or explanation.

"I did not steal a car, John Growling stole the car. I just happen to get in it with him and then we got pulled over," Harry grouched.

"You were the one driving it when you got pulled over!" Remus exclaimed staring hard at Harry.

"Yeah, I don't know how that happened, remember drunk."

Remus narrowed his eyes sternly at Harry. "I'm very disappointed in you. You'll be lucky if they don't charge you for reckless endangerment and driving under the influence, and without a license! Not to mention you could have gotten in an accident, you could have killed someone, or yourself!"

Harry shrugged carelessly. "It's not like I care," he muttered. "What's it matter? I've got no future anyways."

"Harry, of course you do," Remus said with a heavy sigh.

"Right, and that's why Dumbledore won't let me go back to bloody school!"

"He will let you come back, Harry," Remus reminded him.

"Yeah, after I see a mind-healer! I'm not crazy Remus, a bit messed up at the moment maybe, but after everything… I'm certainly not a danger to anyone, and I'm not insane!" Harry spit out.

"Harry, all he wants you to do is talk to one person. I know you're not insane, he knows you're not insane. As to being a danger to anyone, maybe not those around you, but after what your aunt told me, certainly you are a danger to yourself."

Harry suddenly stood up and kicked his chair over angrily. "I am not!" he shouted. "I took the bloody knife to my arm because I panicked, that was all. I already told Aunt Petunia that! She doesn't understand, because she doesn't know! None of you do!"

Remus stood up. "Harry, calm down, please," he said evenly. "Sit back down and talk to me, at least. None of us can understand unless you talk to us."

"I don't want to talk to you! I don't want to talk to anyone!" Harry shouted, pacing the room.

"Harry, if you don't talk to someone, you're only going to get worse."

"Go away, Remus," Harry hissed through clenched teeth, turning his back on the man.

"No, I'm not going away. Sit down and talk to me," Remus said firmly.

"I'm not talking to anyone!" Harry yelled, turning back on Remus.

"Why won't you talk to at least me?" Remus pressed.

Harry clenched his jaw as anger rushed through him. He suddenly had the urge to break something, hurt something, someone. His eyes darted around the room and then he grabbed his fallen chair and threw it over the desk at Remus.

"Because I don't want to remember!" he screamed.

Remus smoothly dodged to the side, letting the chair smash into the shatterproof glass door. Harry threw himself into the corner of the room and slid down the wall as a few officers ran into the room at the commotion.

"I don't want to remember," Harry cried, with his head in his hands, and then Remus had his arms wrapped around Harry firmly. "Please don't make me remember," he sobbed into Remus' chest.

--

_To be continued…_


End file.
